A blonde walks to her car from the mall to notice her keys are locked inside the car. She struggles for hours trying to get inside, before calling her dad. When her dad answers, she is crying to him. She tells him "Dad, please. My keys are locked inside the car. I need you to hurry, you have to get here quickly. It looks like it is going to rain, and the top is down."
Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg? A: Nothing. They've never met :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Presley Monroe hot ass from the Love Ranch N just stopped by my house going to the gym for a workout, she told me a blonde joke Why did the blonde get excited after finising the jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months A: Because the box said from 2 to 4 year funny! ck her out [email protected] omg hot ass
You've got Blonde A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
Q: Why did the blonde get excited after finising the jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months A: Because the box said from 2 to 4 years
What do you call a Blonde with a dollar bill on her head? All You Can Eat Under A Buck! What's the difference between a Blonde and the Titanic? They Know How Many Men Want Down On The Titanic!
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid So, she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she if OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb, and she wanted to do it by painting the house.. He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said… “FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.” Chili
There are three moms. . A Brunette, a Redhead, and a Blonde. They were all talking one day and the brunette says "Oh my gosh y'all I went through my daughter's purse the other day to get some gum, and I found an ounce of weed. I cannot believe she smokes weed" They comfort her, and the redhead says "Yeah, well I found a fake I. D. In my daughter's purse. I cannot believe she has one". So they all comfort her. Then the blonde says "That's nothing. I found a condom in my daughter's purse. I just cannot believe she has a penis"
Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? A: So her male would get delivered to the right box. :shock: :lol: :lol:
Enjoyed all of these blonde jokes....missed one Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory??? She was throwing out the W's ANYTIME FOR AN APPOINTMENT
Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides. ANYTIME FOR AN APPOINTMENT
Why did the blonde stare at the bottle of orange juice for two hours? Because it said 'concentrate' on it. ANYTIME FOR AN APPOINTMENT
Blonde Breakdown A blonde's car breaks down on the Interstate one day. So, she eases it over onto the shoulder of the road. She carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats who walk to the rear of the vehicle where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing their nude bodies to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in history of this highway occurs. It's not very long before a police car shows up. The cop, clearly enraged, runs toward the blonde of the disabled vehicle yelling, "What the hell is going on here?" "My car broke down," says the lady, calmly. "Well, what are these perverts doing here by the road?!" asks the cop. And she said.... (This is good...) (Ready?) (Remember, she's a blonde...) "Those are my emergency flashers!" she replied..
A blonde who's down on her luck is walking through a luxurious neighbourhood looking for odd jobs to do when she approaches a large house. She goes up to the house, rings the bell and the owner comes to the door. He asks the lady what he can do for her. The blonde tells him of her situation, that she is down on her luck and wants to know if he has any odd jobs that she could do. The man thinks about it for a second and then remembers that he has been wanting his porch painted. He asks the blonde if she paints? The blonde says, "Sure anything." "Well, I've been wanting my porch painted, how much would you charge?" the man replies. "I don't know, say $50 bucks." "Sounds good. Go ahead and get started." He closes the door and walks back inside. His wife asks him, "Who was at the door?" He tells her of the blonde and her situation and then told his wife that the blonde agreed to paint the porch for $50 bucks. The astonished wife says, "$50 bucks, but that porch goes the full length of our house and then some. It will be at least a few hours job. You really should pay her more." "But that's all she said she wanted, and anyway she's a dumb blonde!" 10 minutes later, they get a knock on the door. The man answers the door and the blone stands there and says, "All done." With a surprised look on his face, "I can't believe it, you're already done painting the entire porch." "Yes, and by the way it's not a porch it's a Ferrari."
Q: Why does a cement wall break to pieces when a blonde hits it with their head? A: The smartest one gives up first.
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out. After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together." The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
You've got Blonde A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is!" My stupid computer keeps saying, "You've got mail!"
Here's a few for you.... Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink? Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables! Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane? She'd just dyed her hair. OR: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks? It takes too long to retrain them.
