I love them, heres one you might enjoy. If you have more post them. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies? A: 100. One to make the batter and 99 to crack the shells on the M&Ms.
Why did the blonde try to steal a police car? On the back she saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.
how can someone make a blond thinking a whole day? invite her for lunch/dinner in a restaurant with round tables and ask her to sit in the corner how you can take the sit/place of a blond in the plane? tell her that the places for passengers destined to london are in the back why a blond change her baby diapers once a month? because in the label writes up to 10 kilos whats the favourite cell phone brand of the blondes? anyone that has vibration why the blonds dont eat bananas? cause they cant unzip them
This one I heard years ago. How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
A blonde goes to an office party and wins a thermos. The blonde asks a co-worker, "What does it do?" He says it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold. The next day the blond goes to work after filling her thermos with ice cream and tea.
I found these on google and thought I would share them with y'all...lol Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead? Because she was trying to make up her mind. When a blonde working at the local Taco Bell was asked to put minimal lettuce on an order she replied, "I'm sorry, we only have iceberg. What do you get when you put seven blondes in a freezer? Frosted Flakes While waiting at a cross walk for the light to change, a blonde asked why the signal was buzzing. When she was told that it was to let blind people know when the light was red, she replied, "What in the world are blind people doing driving? Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? They think their picture is being taken. I thought these were cute...lol Lailani Kiss
It was snowing heavily and blowing to the point that visibility was almost zero when the little blonde got off work. She made her way to her car and wondered how she was going to make it home. She sat in her car while it warmed up and thought about her situation. She finally remembered her Daddy's advice that if she got caught in a blizzard she should wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it...... that way she would not get stuck in a snow drift. This made her feel much better and sure enough in a little while a snow plow went by and she started to follow it. As she followed the snow plow she was feeling very smug as they continued and she was not having any problem with the blizzard conditions. After an hour had passed, she was somewhat surprised when the snowplow stopped and the driver got out and came back to her car and signaled for her to roll down her window. The snow plow driver wanted to know if she was all right as she had been following him for a long time. She said that she was fine and told him of her Daddy's advice to follow a snow plow when caught in a blizzard. The driver replied that it was ok with him and she could continue if she wanted, but he was done with the Wal-Mart parking lot and was going over to Sears next. hili
Q: What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A: Locking the car door. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark! Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ? A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too. Q: What do peroxide blonds and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots.
Q: their is a dumb blonde, a smart blonde, and Santa Claus walking down the street they see a 100$ bill who picks it up first? A: The dumb blonde, the others don't exist. Their is a blonde who works her ass off everyday in a big corporation. All the guys tease her all the time about being a blonde. Well one day all her hard work paid off for her and became the new owner of the business. So she called ALL the employees in to listen to her speech and says. Hey if any one of you assholes as much as think about saying another blonde joke I will shut this company down and fire everyone!!! Well one day she's in the elevator and these guys are talking back and forth "Did you see that blonde today rowing a boat down the interstate?" other guy "Yeah man I saw that to!" So the blonde gets ticked off and yells it out! I'm sick of this crap GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE YOUR ALL FIRED! So she shut down the company and on her way home she sees this blonde rowing a boat down the highway and says. YOU STUPID BITCH IF I KNEW HOW TO SWIM I"D COME OVER THERE AND KICK YOUR ASS!
What do you call a bunch of blondes standing in a row? A wind tunnel. What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair another color? Artificial intelligence.
Dennis and girls....those are all good ones!! Stargirl27....I got a brunnette joke for ya.... A brunette is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days than skip a day and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. Next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds. When the brunette returs she's lost nearly 20 pounds " Why that's amazing" Doctor says. "Did you follow my instructions?" The brunette nods "I'll tell you though...I thought I was gonna drop dead the 3rd day". "From hunger you mean?" asked the doctor. "No, from all the skipping" I couldn't believe their was a actually a brunette jokes website stacey
I got 1. A guy decides to kill himself and the way he's going to do it is by jumping off a 50 story bunny ranch. As she jumps off the ledge, he changes his mind :shock:. He starts to scream " help someons HELP!" At around the 40th floor a beautiful red head reaches out her window and catches the guy. He says screaming of appreciatively " Thank you Thank you I will do anything you ask of me for saving my life". The hot red head looks around and whispers to the guy "Do you eat pussy? " The guy in shock replies " How dare you take advantage of this situation". The bunny replies "Suit yourself" and lets him go. The guy once again screams for help and about the 30th floor a hot brunette reaches out and catches him. He tells her " Thank so much for saving me, I will do anything u ask of me"! The sexy brunette looks straight into his eyes and says "You will have to toss my salad to repay my generosity :twisted: ". The guy surprised once again replies "Yells at the brunette "HOW DARE YOU TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THIS SITUATION"! The brunette tells him "Suit your self" and lets him go. Screaming with confusion, repentance, fear and all his might for help a blonde catches him at the 20th floor. The guy,not wanting to die, tells the blonde " I'll eat your pussy and toss your salad Please just save me!!!!!! :cry: The blonde, god bless her soul, screams at the guy and says " YOU PERVERT" and let's him go........ :lol: Grateful
Got couple more..... Question: What's black and blue and brown and laying in a ditch? Answer: A brunette who's told too many blond jokes Question: What's the brunette's mating call? Answer: Has the blond left yet? Stacey
A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde, female crew member to take care of the box for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He pointedly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, mentioned that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up ... So she took them home and ate them. Two lessons here: 1. Men never learn. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as some men think.
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.' Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?' The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.' Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, 'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.' He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh... (scroll down) 'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'
Flight School A blonde went to a flight school, insisting she wanted to learn to fly that day. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her on how to pilot the helicopter solo by radio. He took her out, showed her how to start it, and gave her the basics and sent her on her way. After she climbed 1000 feet, she radioed in. "I'm doing great! I love it! The view is so beautiful, and I'm starting to get the hang of this." After 2000 feet, she radioed again, saying how easy it was becoming to fly. The instructor watched her climb over 3000 feet, and was beginning to worry that she hadn't radioed in. A few minutes later, he watched in horror as she crashed about half a mile away. He ran over and pulled her from the wreckage. When he asked what happened, she said, "I don't know! Everything was going fine, but as I got higher, I was starting to get cold. I can't remember anything after I turned off the big fan." :roll: :lol:
