I'm so Thankful to have met you! You have made me a Better Lover and a Better Person! We have Epic Parties and they keep getting Hotter!
For socially awkward people, self checkouts are the best invention of the 21st-century. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryde
It can take days, weeks, even years to decide you love someone but it takes two minutes to decide you love a dog. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryde
Humans are the most vulnerable when naked, yet there is nothing scarier than having a naked person run at you. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryde
Mushrooms have three settings, poisonous, tasty, and magic. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
You are probably in a random memory of someone’s childhood. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Is it weird how you can feel that your thoughts are physically located in your head? -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
People always complain about having to get up early for the school bus, but nobody thinks about how early the bus driver has to get up. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Your future self maybe thinking about you at this very moment in time. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Giving a hug and receiving a hug or two completely different feelings. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
You know you are an adult when you get excited just to go home. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Sleep is the body’s best safety mechanism. It keeps you from screwing things up for eight hours. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Admitting that you are wrong is the same as analogy that you learn something. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
There are people out there you haven’t met yet who will love you. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Paying rent is just like hitting the snooze button on being homeless. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid because no one would ever find it. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Using your laptop to buy another one is like asking it to dig its own grave -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Porn is the only type of movies where spoilers are allowed in the title. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
The camera is still the most fascinating invention. The thought of being able to completely capture a moment in time and see it in front of you is crazy. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
It’s interesting how the human body can give birth to other human bodies, but cannot regenerate organs or critical body parts for itself. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
If, by law, everyone had to work for one year in the customer service industry in their lifetime, the world would be a much more tolerable place. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
The person who came up with “Righty tighty, lefty loosy” has had quite the influence on the world as we know it. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Dentists are reverse tooth fairies, they give you teeth and then take your money. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Your dog has no idea that they’re the main reason for the walk -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
A person that does something dumb becomes cute if you like them. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
Clothes that are not dirty enough to go to the laundry but not quite clean for the closet, go to the chair. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
There is nothing more relaxing than going to bed at night and knowing that your schedule is free the next day. -Pure heart with a dirty mind, Randy Ryder
