╚☆ LOST AND FOUND: Sex, intimacy, you ... and the BunnyRanch

Sure thing, sweetie!

 

What we have shared will always be the best memories of my life!

 

I had been on my mind to do something like this since Friday night and while the following post was one I originally posted on a different thread, I thought it would be better posted here as people who would find it helpful are more likely to be reading this one. I've had the privilege of exchanging correspondence with some of the other board members and its obvious that many are hurting.

Since I'm quite open about this in my personal life and my non-Bunny Ranch online identity, I don't consider sharing something like this to be that big of a deal, though I realize for some it might seem rather intense.

I do want to clarify something about it first. My primary diagnosis was ADD, my secondary diagnosis of depression was the one that brought me to my knees (though I never was suicidal). Everyone is different, but for me once the ADD was addressed the problems I had with anxiety quickly started falling away. While I made the jump from sick to healthy rather quickly (6 months), the depression issue due to its nature was one did take longer. I don't want to set unrealistic expectations for people again everyone is different. Okay now on to the post.

What inspires me, hhhmmm how deep and personal do you want to get ? I'll do my best to keep from bumping the bottom of the pool with this dive but its not going to be easy.

Been fortunate to have seen a lot of things, here over the past two years finally made a successful recovery from clinical depression after a real rough patch two years prior to that. The thing that kept me hanging in there during that downward spiral was knowing that I'd been through some hard times before and made it through, so I'll be dammed if I'm going to give up now. Self respect and self pride you could say.

The thing that keeps me going these days is knowing of people whose condition was far worse and debilitating than mine. Realizing that there were several intersections along my path where I could have just as easily gone the other way and fallen as far as they did. I never had to have a 5150, never had to go through an inpatient treatment facility, kept my job (BARELY), and had constant family support. It has made me feel fortunate and I feel an obligation to talk about stuff like this to help fight the stigma associated with brain diseases and give people who are going it alone, courage to seek help before its too late.

It also inspires me to go out and live my life to its full potential every day. Unlike many of those poor souls, I have options and if I don't choose to take advantage of those options I'll have wasted my life. I didn't want to lay this whole thing out like this. However, on the message boards last night based on some interaction I had with some other members, it became clear that some of those poor souls are on this forum regularly. So I hope it will do some good, help pay back the kindness of those who helped me through that time. In other words "Pay Forward".

 

I'll have to say thank you for your openness and willingness to share. I'll do the same. I've struggled with OCD and depression my entire life. I've had issues with suicidal thoughts and actions along with my issues involving my mental illness. I've taken many medications over the course of my life, and have engaged in therapy, all of which has only resulted in partial relief from my issues. It's ironic that the only medicinal combination that has actually had a significant impact has been prescribed by my general physician, not my previous psychiatrists. And by significant I mean that my symptoms are only less severe, but by no means eliminated. If I were to put a number on it, I'd say the meds have never given me more than 33% relief.

Now for the part that involves the Bunny Ranch. I must provide a disclaimer to what I'm about to describe, since other peoples reactions to the actions I took could be significantly different than my personal experience.

I was a bit trepidatious about going to the Bunny Ranch because of my OCD and depression, as I was afraid it could make both issues worse. My desire won out, obviously! When I got there, I was greeted by Jordan Soprano and Kalli Morgan, who spent an hour with me. It was a wonderful hour, and I did have some issues with my OCD and depression initially following our time together. The next day, I returned, and spent another hour with them, and we included Bunny Love in this hour. Again, it was wonderful, but again I had some issues with my OCD and depression following it. But over the next couple weeks, something happened to me, something that had never happened to me before. I didn't even realize it until it was pointed out to me by other people who knew about my mental illness. I wasn't doing my usual OCD related rituals, and my demeanor was more upbeat. I was able to drive by myself, which I hadn't been able to do in the previous four years, and I even started to drive at night, which again I wasn't able to do for years. I could ride my bike, and walk without constantly walking back and forth in an OCD loop that made it impossible to get anywhere. My work is easier, and I am able to perform it at least twice as quickly as before, since I'm not going over everything multiple times checking myself for errors. I'd say that, for the first time in my life, I got some relief that supplied me with at least twice the relief that any medication had ever provided previously. I'm still not 100%, but where the meds got me to 33%, the ranch got me another 33%, so I'm now at 66%, which is a hell of a lot better than I've ever been able to achieve previously!!! Now again, this is not advice, as my reaction could be vastly different than other people, and it could, at least in theory, make your symptoms of any mental illness worse.

Anyway, this is my story, and I've told you a summary. There's a lot more, but I'm not writing a book, just a post. :lol:

 

Thank-you for sharing that. I too gave an abridged version of my story, totally get you on that. Personally if you haven't, google NAMI and Bring Change 2 Mind. They are too outreach organizations that you may find helpful in your journey. You can even find the unabridged version of my story on their website if you have an hour :lol:

I would also like to say to others reading these posts that if you can identify with either Euler's story or mine (Central Ohioian) please understand that both of us had to come a long way in our recoveries with the aid of medical professionals before the thought of a ranch visit would even remotely be a good idea. I would suggest that perhaps you have some much larger issues you should focus on first and seek some assistance with those first.

My chief worry was whether or not the let down from a visit would be too much for me to handle and is in fact a large part of the reason I decided to delay my trip for three months. I had to know that I'd be strong enough to deal with that before I felt I could take such a risk. Thankfully I know I am now, but again it took me two years to get there.

The women while very compassionate people are not therapists, nor is that what it is even about. So again, if you have a similar story, first get help with getting back on your feet solidly, the ranches aren't going anywhere soon. I am a military veteran with a college degree and if I felt no shame in seeking help two years ago, nor should you. Mental Illnesses are brain diseases just like diabetes, cancer, or any other sickness. Credible medical science backs this up.

 

Very well said Sir. Anyone considering going to the ranches should make sure they are in good enough condition before a visit. I had found the best med combination before I went... so I was as good as I was going to get at that point in my life. But a few years ago, there's no way I could have done it!

And I agree whole heartily that the ladies there very nice, compassionate and wonderful people. But like you said, they are not therapists nor psychiatrists, and as such, anyone considering paying the ranches a visit should seek professional help first.

Any of you bunnies on the boards actually a courtesan and a therapist and/or psychiatrist? That would make a good combination, I think everyone would agree to that.

 

Glad we're on the same page with this Euler. Probably should add we are not such people either It actually makes me wonder whether or not there are "sex therapist" courtesans. I've heard this term "suitor" before that is nearly the same. Oh well, doesn't matter.

Stupid Ohio "no fun" laws causing me to go all the way out to Nevada at the height of the summer heat for some fun, frustrating !!!

 

Unfortunately I had to forgo June and I'm hoping for late August right now but we'll see. How about you ? Planning a vacation from Parenthood this summer ? :lol:

 

:| /sigh I identify with a few of these points. :cry:

 

:|

 

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I appreciate you sharing of yourself so openly, Central Ohioan. I hope others find comfort in your words.

As an aside, that "Shawshank" quote in your signature might just be my favorite line from any movie.

 

this recent trip has really put a lot of confidence back into me

 

:|

 

I was in my late 30's, so don't feel bad.

 

Thanks Bro and glad to hear you finally were able to take that bridge !!

 

I'm so glad!

 

I need to put out an APB on mine. :?

 

I found it! Now all you have to do is come and collect.

 

For allowing me to share so much of myself with you Anna....

 

I'm honored, babe!

 

If only it were that simple. :?

 

The honor is just to be able to spend time with you,sweetie!

 

I know, I know. If only ...

 

I really need a "Hall Pass".

 

The intimacy we have shared makes me....

 

What you helped me find Anna....

 

Left hall, if at all possible.

 

oh yeah...I know that hall pretty well

 

Do I need to knock first? :wink:

 

Anna,you brought light back in my life just by being YOU!

 

You helped me find my way to ecstasy...by being with you!

 

The intimate moments we have shared will forever be in my heart!

 

Possible? :shock:

I have a GPS lock on the location! :wink: [/quote]

 

You,me....intimacy shared...