Doctor (using a stethoscope): "Big breaths." Blond: Yeth. And I'm not even thickteen yet :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Blonde Inventions: 1. The water-proof towel 2. Solar powered flashlight 3. Submarine screen door 4. A book on how to read 5. Inflatable dart board 6. A dictionary index 7. Ejector seat in a helicopter 8. Powdered water 9. Pedal-powered wheel chair 10. Water-proof tea bag
lol Humor I love it.... Here's mine: Blonde, Brunette, and Red Head walk into a bar. The bartendar warns them he's new at this job, but he can make the cocktails just tell him whats in it. So the Red Head says I'd like a Seperator, it has coffee liquor, brandy and milk in it. Bartendar says no problem I can do that. The Brunette says I'd like a Screwdriver, it has vodka and orange juice. Bartendar replies I can make that. Then the Blonde says I'd like a 15. You know Seagram 7 and 7-up.
Ugh that width problem is still around :evil: Can't get 2 press the quote button. I can't remember if I typed this joke. Blondes will get mad at me 4 this. How did the blonde burn her ear? She was ironing when the phone rang :lol: Although most people nowadays have a cell phone. Lets just hope that dumb blonde Tricia Evans doesn't & actually is ironing when the phone rings :twisted: She is the dumb blonde who went on twitter & did something out of comedy central roasts :evil: Hours after the aurora tragedy last month she said the new batman movie is to die for.....too soon. I feel that making jokes of all jacked up deaths are way too soon.
A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!" The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement. Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Shit, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were sitting around trying to compare their boyfriends to brands of pop. The redhead said "My boyfriend is like 7-up. He is seven inches long and he is always up." The brunette said "My boyfriend is like Mountain Dew. He loves to do it in the Mountains all the time." The blonde said "My boyfriend is like Jack Daniels." The brunette cut in "You cant use Jack Daniels. Thats a hard liquor." A smile crossed the blondes face. "I know"
There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie it would suck you in. One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in. { haha } oxoxox , amaya amore
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A blonde cop stops blonde motorist and asks for her driving license. The Motorist scuffles around in her purse and can't find it. She says to the cop, "I must have left it at home officer." The cop says, "Well, do you have any kind of identification?" The motorist scuffles around in her purse again, and finds a pocket mirror. She looks at it and says to the cop, "All I have is this picture of myself." The cop says, "Let me see it, then." So the blonde motorist gives the mirror to the blonde cop, who looks at it, and replies, "Well, if I had known you were a police officer, I wouldn't have even pulled you over. You can go now." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A blonde suspects that her boyfriend is cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment that same day, with the gun in hand. Sure enough, when she opens the door, she finds her boyfriend in the arms of a redhead. She points the gun at her boyfriend at stares him down for a moment. Then, suddenly, she's overcome with grief, so she puts the gun up to the side her head. Her boyfriend screams, "Honey, don't do it..." The blonde yells back, "Shut up! You're next!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A new young blonde bride calls her mother in tears. She sobs, "Robert doesn't appreciate what I do for him!" "Now, now," her mother comforted, "I am sure it was all just a misunderstanding." "No, mother," the young woman laments. "I bought a frozen turkey loaf and he yelled at me about how much I spent on it." "Well, that is being miserly," the mother agreed, "Those turkey rolls are only a few dollars." "No, mother it wasn't the price of the turkey roll, it was the airplane ticket." "Airplane ticket? What did you need an airplane ticket for?" "Well mother, when I went to cook it, I read the directions on the back and they said, "PREPARE FROM A FROZEN STATE," so I had to fly Alaska." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Blonde Logic January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!! March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!" April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!! May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope. July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!! August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down. September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it??? October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel. November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!! What a year!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ .....i don't get it?!............ oxoxox amaya amore
