Busting Sexual Myths: The Truth About Size And How It Matters (Or Doesn't)
Posted by Hannah Foxx on April 27, 2023
It’s time to debunk one of the most persistent myths about sexuality and relationships: the idea that penis size is worth worrying about!
In this article, we’ll explore why this notion has persisted for so long and discuss the factors that truly contribute to a satisfying sexual experience. Read on to learn more about what’s fact and fiction when it comes to size. Prepare to be amazed!
Myth: Size Matters!
Fact: While size may be a personal preference, it does not determine the quality of the sexual experience. Communication, trust, and technique are essential in ensuring a pleasurable and satisfying sexual encounter. The vaginal canal is demonstrably short in female anatomy, and unless a woman has paraphilia for the size of your genitals, it’s actually very very low on the list of sexual priorities!
The Size Myth Explained: The belief that bigger is always better when it comes to sexual organs has been ingrained in our culture for centuries. This misconception is often perpetuated by unrealistic portrayals in pornography, media, and society as a whole. However, numerous studies have shown that size is not the most critical factor in sexual satisfaction or even fertility! (1)
The Female Perspective: When it comes to the size of a woman’s vagina and a man’s penis, there is no one-size-fits-all answer. The average size of a woman’s vagina when not aroused is approximately 3 inches, and it can expand to around 5 inches when she is turned on (2). This flexibility allows the vagina to comfortably accommodate a wide range of penis sizes.
Moreover, the most sensitive areas for women, such as the clitoris and the first few inches of the vaginal opening, can be stimulated effectively regardless of penis size (3).
The Male Perspective: The people who actually care MOST about penis size are men! This is also true, believe it or not, for many physical features, like muscularity, fitness, and other traits we have been trained to assume are important for women, culturally. For many women, emotional connection, trust, and feeling desired play a much more significant role in their sexual satisfaction, making the size of a man’s penis far less critical than important topics like communication, touch, and desire. Don’t let your insecurity make you vulnerable to aggressive marketing that tries to capitalize on the fears generated by this myth.
The Sexual Perspective: A prodigious penis can sometimes cause discomfort or pain during intercourse. Larger-sized male genitalia can bruise, tear, or even prolapse the female anatomy. In these cases, open communication between partners, proper lubrication, and finding comfortable positions for both parties become even more crucial (4). Learning about and communicating the types of sensations, positions, and stimulation that makes your partner get focused on pleasure is all about honesty and creating healthy context for listening.
The True Keys to Sexual Satisfaction: Focus on size can create unnecessary anxiety and insecurity for both men and women. It’s essential to remember that pleasure and satisfaction in a sexual relationship come from more than just physical attributes. Good communication, trust, and the willingness to explore and adapt to each other’s needs are the genuine keys to a fulfilling sexual experience (5). Willingness to explore, fail, and put effort into quality feedback and receptivity to feedback mean far far more to your potential partners.
Knowledge is power, and debunking these common sex myths can pave the way for a more open, honest, and healthy approach to sexuality and relationships. By focusing on communication, trust, and technique, we can all enjoy more satisfying and pleasurable sexual experiences. Where you can go with your imagination, your words, your touch, and your sensitivity to the experiences of your partner will ALWAYS play a bigger role than a number on a ruler.
Sources: (1) Frederick, D. A., Lever, J., & Peplau, L. A. (2007). Interest in cosmetic surgery and body image: Views of men and women across the lifespan. Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, 120(5), 1407-1415.
(2) Pendergrass, P. B., Reeves, C. A., Belovicz, M. W., Molter, D. J., & White, J. H. (2003). Surface area of the human vagina as measured from vinyl polysiloxane casts. Gynecologic and Obstetric Investigation, 55(2), 110-113.
(3) Herbenick, D., Fu, T. C., Arter, J., Sanders, S. A., & Dodge, B. (2018). Women’s experiences with genital touching, sexual pleasure, and orgasm: Results from a U.S. probability sample of women ages 18 to 94. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 44(2), 201-212.