What are the 3 Rings of Life from a wise Priest? Life has it's journey which you are going to experience: Engagement Ring Wedding Ring Suffer Ring
Two guys walk into a bar, which is kinda funny because you would think the second guy would have seen it coming.
Q: Did you hear about the one where the Orange stopped in the middle of the road? A: It ran out of juice.
Three guys were in the same lifeboat. One was from Texas, one from Montana, the other from New York. A bottle floats up to the boat and the guy from New York opens it. A genie flies out and says he can grant three wishes. They decide they will each make one wish. New York goes first and says he wishes to be back in his office on Times Square. POOF he disappears! Montana makes his wish next- he wants to be back in the Rockies with his cattle. POOF he disappears! Texas is last. He starts crying and says he wants his friends back. POOF the other two guys reappear in the boat!
A high school senior is getting ready for his prom. He goes to rent a tuxedo, but there is a very long line. He goes to buy a corsage for his date, but there is a very long line there too. He goes to buy his ticket for the prom, but there is a long line. He gets there and there is a long line to get in. Finally he gets into the prom and decides to go get a bowl of punch. In the end, there was no punch line. .... This is a bit of an anti-joke so it might not make sense if you're not used to that kind of humor.
Two tampons are walking down the street. They pass each other. Who says hello first? - neither. They were both stuck up cunts
A penguin needs to get the air conditioner in his car fixed. Before he goes to see the mechanic, he stops by the ice cream shop across the street, gets vanilla but doesn't wipe his mouth. When the penguin goes into the auto shop the mechanic sees him and asks "Did you blow a seal?"
An ex told me cunt is an acronym for "can't understand normal thinking" and now it's my favorite word
A naked man broke into a church. When the police arrived, he took off running. It's ok though- they caught him by the organ
