@BigAlbowski was all cop - a cop who played by his own rules. He got a call for a 187 at the home of Gladys McWhorter and found her there, lifeless in her kitchen. He collected evidence and talked with her neighbors, who said she'd been arguing with her brother for the last few weeks about an inheritance. He had Central send an officer to the brother's home to lock it down and collect evidence until he arrived. He recognized the onsite officer - a rookie who was as dumb as a rock. But since his father was the Commissioner he never was held responsible for how he bungled investigations. The brother said he'd been home all day and the neighbors testified that they'd heard him playing music. The rookie had searched the home and found that there was a musical instrument in the form of whiskey bottles. "So you also searched for devices that can play songs to make it sound like he was at home?", asked Al. "Well, I - no. I mean, the guy looks so trustworthy." Reconsidering his career choice, Al searched the house himself. And then he found them - The whiskey bottles. 20 whiskey bottles. Specifically, 20 empty whiskey bottles. Hauling the rookie into the room, Al asked "Do you know how bottles are used to play music, rookie?" "Well, yeah. I mean, you blow into them and sound comes out." "Oh, for ^%$s sake! When you blow into the bottle, you compress the air inside of it. The more air, the deeper the pitch. But if all your bottles have the same amount of air, they all have the same pitch and you can't play a song!" "So that means, um . . . " "That means he doesn't have an alibi and lied about where he'd been all day, you nepotistic moron!" So Al searched the brother himself, found an old iPod in his back pocket, and booked him. And since the day centered around whiskey anyway, he ended it that way with 3 fingers worth.
On a warm summer's eve On a train bound for nowhere I met up with @Jim DiGriz We were both too tired to sleep So we took turns a-starin' Out the window at the darkness The boredom overtook us, And he began to speak He said, "Son, I've made a life Out of readin' people's faces Knowin' what the cards were By the way they held their eyes So if you don't mind me sayin' I can see you're out of aces For a taste of your whiskey I'll give you some advice" So I handed him my bottle And he drank down my last swallow Then he bummed a cigarette And asked me for a light And the night got deathly quiet And his faced lost all expression He said, "If you're gonna play the game, boy You gotta learn to play it right You've got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run You never count your money When you're sittin' at the table There'll be time enough for countin' When the dealin's done Every DiGriz knows That the secret to survivin' Is knowin' what to throw away And knowin' what to keep 'Cause every hand's a winner And every hand's a loser And the best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep And when he finished speakin' He turned back toward the window Crushed out his cigarette And faded off to sleep And somewhere in the darkness @Jim DiGriz broke even But in his final words I found an ace that I could keep You've got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run You never count your money When you're sittin' at the table There'll be time enough for countin' When the dealin's done You've got to know when to hold 'em (when to hold 'em) Know when to fold 'em (when to fold 'em) Know when to walk away And know when to run You never count your money When you're sittin' at the table There'll be time enough for countin' When the dealin's done You've got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run You never count your money When you're sittin' at the table There'll be time enough for countin' When the dealin's done
@BigAlbowski 's last post about me was a mass of spurious lies! I mean, I haven't drunk whiskey in 3 months!
On the day @jim DiGrizawas born The nurses all gathered 'round And they gazed in wide wonder At the joy they had found The head nurse spoke up And she said "leave this one alone" She could tell right away That @Jim DiGriz was bad to the bone
I ain't scared of no devil that can get his fiddle taken by a little boy down in Georgia.............
(I just wanted to say I deserve a prize for not responding with an 'instrument' double-entendre.) @Air Force Amy would never trade a person's soul for material gain - it's simply not polite. (Now, encouraging someone to refine their soul - that's another matter.)
