She was so blonde... She got stabbed in a shoot-out. She put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind. She told me to meet her at the corner of 'walk' and 'don't walk'. She tried to put M&Ms in alphabetical order. She tried to drown a fish. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you'd get change back. They had to burn the school down to get her out of third grade. Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.' She tripped over a cordless phone. She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. At the bottom of the application where it says 'sign here', she put 'Sagittarius.' She asked for a price docket at the Dollar Store. If she spoke her mind, she'd probably be speechless. She studied for a blood test... and failed. She thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center. She thought Meow Mix was a record for cats. She thought she needed a ticket to get on Soul Train. She sold the car for gas money.
Two blondes were in a dark theater: Blonde #1: “Hey, the guy next to me is jerking off!” Blonde #2: “Just ignore him.” Blonde #1: “I can’t. He’s using my hand.”
Q. What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex? A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
Little Johny GoDeeper entered his 2nd grade glass room and was confronted with the hottest woman he had ever seen. After the rest of the class came in, she introduced herself as Miss Lily, and she was going to be subsituting that day. After school he stayed behind to talk to her. "Miss Lily, will you take off you're clothes?" he asked "No." she replied. "If you don't I'll tell my sister, my sister will tell my brother, my brother will tell my mom, my mom will tell my dad and he'll tell the principal and you'll get fired." "Alright." Miss Lily took off her clothes. "Miss Lily, will you lay on the desk?" asked Johny. "No." "If you dont I'll tell my sister, she'll tell my brother, he'll tell my mom, she'll tell my dad, he'll tell the principal and you'll get fired." "Ok." She layed on the desk. "Miss Lily, can I have sex with you?" he asked. "No." "If you dont let me I'll tell my sister, she'll tell my brother, he'll tell my mom, she'll tell my dad, he'll tell the principal and you'll get fired." "Ok." So Little Johny started to have sex with her. Then the principal walked in. "JOHNY GODEEPER!!" he screamed. Then his dad walked in. "JOHNY GODEEPER!!" he yelled. Then his mom walked in. "Johny GoDeeper!!" she yelled. Then his brother walked in. "Johny GoDeeper, duuude!" he said amazed. Then his sister walked in. "Johny GoDepper." she said disgusted. "I can't. I'm stuck." said Little Johny GoDeeper.
On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet. The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I'm at 300 feet?" "That's a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground." After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there's no one there I know?"
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, "I think we're in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?" This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, "I've got an idea. We'll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours." The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled the ribbons off while they were playing." "OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, "Oh no, I can't tell whose puppy is whose. They've pulled their collars off while they were playing." "There's got to be some way to tell them apart," says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, "I know! Why don't you take the black one and I'll take the white one!" { hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe } oxoxoxoox, amaya amore
just one more for today :wink: A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over. “May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop. Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license. Now today you want me to show it to you!” { hehehhehehehehehehehe } oxooxoxoxoxooxo, AMAYA AMORE
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-cock'll-doooo." Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?" :shock: :lol: :lol:
Why was the blonde staring at the orange juice container? Because it said (from) "Concentrate". :shock: :lol: :lol: :lol:
A blonde’s dog goes missing, and she is frantic. Her husband says, “Why don’t you put an ad in the paper?” She does, but two weeks later, the dog is still missing. “What did you put in the paper?” her husband asks. She replies, “Here boy!” Chili
A blonde goes to the vet with her goldfish. “I think it’s got epilepsy,” she tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, “It seems calm enough to me.” The blonde says, “I haven’t taken it out of the bowl yet.” Chili
Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.
