RANCH SPECIAL Relationships: Part 7: Love Languages

Relationships: How to improve your relationship? Part 7: Love Languages
(Want the full PDF? Email me with the subject line “Relationships: How to improve your relationship? Part 7: Love Languages PDF”)

Do you want to know what really makes your partner feel loved?

Have you ever become discouraged because your expressions of love seem unappreciated?

Is your partner well-intentioned, but you just aren’t feeling loved the way you want to be?

Don’t worry!


You and your partner don’t need to have the same “native” tongue. What matters is that you learn to speak the language your partner (or future partner) hears. Love isn't finding a perfect person. It's seeing an imperfect person perfectly. A core human need is to be loved. Not a need to fall in love–a need to be genuinely loved by another. When you’re “in love” it’s natural and easy to make your partner feel loved. Real love requires effort and discipline. The longer you are together, you and your partner’s ability to express love to each other gets more and more important.


Emotional Love Tank

Symptoms of an empty tank: misbehavior, withdrawal, harsh words, criticism.

When your partner’s emotional love tank is full they will feel secure in your love and the whole world will look brighter, making it easier for them to reach their highest potential. Isn’t this what you want?

Take the Love Languages Quiz!

The 5 Love Languages Quiz


For each pair of statements, select which one is MOST important to you. If you have trouble deciding which one to choose, ask yourself “If I had the first one and not the second one, would I feel loved? If I had the second one and not the first one, would I feel loved?” Whichever one leaves you feeling unloved in its absence is the one to select.


Question 1.)

• My partner’s love notes make me feel good. A
• I love my partner’s hugs. E

Question 2.)

• I like to be alone with my partner. B
• I feel loved when my partner helps me do yard work. D

Question 3.)

• Receiving Special gifts from my partner makes me happy. C
• I enjoy long trips with my partner. B

Question 4.)

• I feel loved when my partner does my laundry. D
• I like it when my partner touches me. E

Question 5.)

• I feel loved when my partner puts her arm around me. E
• I know my partner loves me because she surprises me with gifts. C

Question 6.)

• I like going most anywhere with my partner. B
• I like to hold my partner’s hand. E

Question 7.)

• I value the gifts my partner gives me. C
• I love to hear my partner say she loves me. A

Question 8.)

• I like for my partner to sit close to me. E
• My partner tells me I look good, and I like that. A

Question 9.)

• Spending time with my partner makes me happy. B
• Even the smallest gift from my partner is important to me. C

Question 10.)

• I feel loved when my partner tells me she’s proud of me. A
• When my partner cooks a meal for me, I know she loves me. D

Question 11.)

• No matter what we do, I love doing things with my partner. B
• Supportive comments from my partner make me feel good. A

Question 12.)

• Little things my partner does for me mean more than anything she says. D
• I love to hug my partner. E

Question 13.)

• My wife’s praise means a lot to me. A
• It means a lot to me that my partner gives me gifts I really like. C

Question 14.)

• Just being around my partner makes me feel good. B
• I love when my partner rubs my back. E

Question 15.)

• My wife’s reactions to my accomplishments are so encouraging. A
• It means a lot to me when my partner helps with something I hate. D

Question 16.)

• I never get tired of my partner’s kisses. E
• I love that my partner shows real interest in things I like to do. B

Question 17.)

• I can count on my partner to help me with projects. D
• I still get excited when opening a gift from my partner. C

Question 18.)

• I love for my partner to compliment my appearance. A
• I love that my partner listens to my ideas and doesn’t judge. B

Question 19.)

• I can’t help but touch my partner when she’s close by. E
• I appreciate it when my partner runs errands for me. D

Question 20.)

• My partner deserves an award for all the things she does to help me. D
• I’m sometimes amazed at how thoughtful my partner’s gifts are. C

Question 21.)

• I love having my partner’s undivided attention. B
• Keeping the house clean is an important act of service. D

Question 22.)

• I look forward to seeing what my partner gives me for my birthday. C
• I never get tired of hearing my partner tell me I’m important to her. A

Question 23.)

• My partner lets me now she loves me by giving me gifts. C
• My partner shows her love by helping me catch up on projects. D

Question 24.)

• My partner doesn’t interrupt me when I’m talking and I like that. B
• I never get tired of receiving gifts from my partner. C

Question 25.)

• My partner can tell when I’m tired and is good at asking if she can help. D
• It doesn’t matter where we go, I just like going places with my partner. B

Question 26.)

• I love having sex with my partner. E
• I love surprise gifts from my partner. C

Question 27.)

• My partner’s encouraging words give me confidence. A
• I love to watch movies with my partner. B

Question 28.)

• I couldn’t ask for any better gifts than the ones my partner gives me. C
• I just can’t keep my hands off my partner. B

Question 29.)

• It means a lot to me when my partner helps me even when she’s busy. D
• I feel really good when my partner tells me she appreciates me. A

Question 30.)

• I love hugging and kissing my partner when we’ve been apart. E
• I love hearing my partner tell me she believes in me. A

Now, tally up your scores.A: ______B: _______C: _______ D: _______E: _______

A = Words of Affirmation

B = Quality Time

C = Receiving Gifts

D = Acts of Service

E = Physical Touch




In order of importance, my Love Languages are:


#1 __________________________________________________


#2 __________________________________________________


#3 __________________________________________________


#4 __________________________________________________


#5 __________________________________________________


In order of importance, my partner’s Love Languages are:

#1 __________________________________________________


#2 __________________________________________________


#3 __________________________________________________


#4 __________________________________________________


#5 __________________________________________________


For further exploration read The 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman (www.5lovelanguages.com)


Tips for Each Love Language


If your partner values “Words of Affirmation”: Make a list of all of the things you like, appreciate, or value about your partner. Verbally compliment or express appreciation 5 times per day. Write something down (a letter, a sentence) and give it to your partner. Compliment your partner in front of others. Get your partner a card. Tell your partner you love them EVERY day!


If your partner values “Quality Time”: List 5 ways you can spend quality time with your partner. List 5 things you could discuss with your partner in a quality conversation. List 5 ways you can improve your focused attention on your partner. List 5 activities you could do together that you would both enjoy.


Sub-Type of Quality Time:

Tips for Quality Conversation:

Maintain eye contact

Don’t listen to your partner and do something else at the same time

Respond to feelings: i.e., “it sounds like you are feeling disappointed...”

If you are NOT naturally good at self-revelation, practice



If your partner values “Giving of Gifts”: List 10 ideas for giving gifts that do not cost any money. List 10 things you know he/she values and appreciates and refer to this list when you can’t think of what to get them. Express appreciation when he/she gives YOU a gift! Gifts can be: physical objects, which is more obvious heartfelt sentiments, like a card or bringing home a pizza the giving of yourself, like sacrificing to be there for someone


If your partner values “Acts of Service”: Think of something that you could do for your partner that could be very meaningful and catch them by surprise. Make a list of things you could do for your partner, such as doing their chores or planning something, and do one of these things as a way of expressing appreciation for the things your partner is doing that make you feel loved. Make a list of the things your partner regularly nags you to do and grant one request per week. Ask your partner what “little things” would mean a lot to them and do them!


If your partner values “Physical Touch”: You need to touch your partner more! Often Physical Touch is in conjunction with Quality Time, as it’s difficult to be touching each other in a meaningful way if you’re not together and focused on each other. Plan at least one day per week that you will set aside a couple hours to spend private time with each other. To create a habit, commit to taking 20 minutes every day, planned, to sit together and talk about your day while touching in one form or another. Be very aware of your partner’s signalsthat he/she is trying to connect to you physically and sexually—and respond. Do not ignore your partner’s advances. It is okay if you are not able to fully respond at that moment, but acknowledge their signals, appreciate them as the love that they are, and at the minimum imply you will connect with them at a later time—and make sure you come back to it.


Physical touch can be: Sitting close, touching him/her as they walk by, hugging him/her every time they return from work, holding hands, touching under the table, giving him/her a massage, cuddling, etc. Remember that it’s especially important to reach out to your partner during stressful periods. This is when they need it most. If your partner is upset, hug them or rub their shoulders. Recognize that you may not highly value physical touch, but if your partner does you MUST be physically affectionate in order to have a happy relationship. If you are uncomfortable, exposure through PRACTICING will help


Hope this helps!

Love, Hannah xoxo


P.S. I am a certified relationship, life, and intimacy coach, here to give you tips on strengthening your relationships! Working with couples to build on their beautiful foundations while also being open to growth is more important now than ever in a world where communication is impersonal; we need to invite intimacy back into our lives.


If you have any questions or are interested in scheduling a private session in person, just email me at [email protected]


Want the full PDF?

Email me with the subject line “Relationships: How to improve your relationship? Part 7: Love Languages PDF”

 

Bump Alert!

Hello, lovely forum members!

I wanted to bring back some attention to our fascinating discussion on love languages. Love languages are a captivating way to explore how we express and receive love in our relationships, and I believe there's so much more to uncover and share!

If you haven't joined the conversation yet, now is the perfect time to jump in. Let's dive deeper into understanding the different love languages and how they impact our connections with others. Whether it's Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, or Physical Touch, each love language brings its own unique essence to relationships.

Have you discovered your primary love language? How has it influenced your understanding of yourself and your partner? Share your insights, personal experiences, and any tips for navigating the world of love languages.

Let's continue this engaging discussion and learn from one another. Feel free to ask questions, share anecdotes, or even recommend resources that have helped you explore the concept of love languages.

Together, we can expand our understanding of love and deepen our connections in meaningful ways. So, let's give this thread some love and keep the conversation going!

Looking forward to hearing from all of you,

Hannah Foxx

 

Hi, Hannah! I never knew love in a romantic context. What I’m seeking is sexual intimacy without getting involved in the messy world of dating. I want to be sexual with women, but don’t care to date any woman in any sort of traditional, romantic way. I have 365 dates every year and they’re all on the calendar. I’m set when it comes to dates. I also get an extra date every 4 years, which is great. I want to experience sexual pleasure, intimacy, and orgasm without dating, romance, and mushy stuff.

I feel like an alien who is living inside of a human body. I feel like I just arrived to this planet from another planet. Have you heard of Allen Strange? If not, then search for The Journey of Allen Strange on YouTube, watch an episode or two, and you’ll have an idea of what I’m talking about. Is there any human being who understands an alien like me?