So at age 42, I was a virgin. But as of a few hours ago, that is no longer the case. Strap in guys and gals, because this is gonna be a long and personal post. But these are things that I don't feel like I can share with my friends and family, yet I feel I want to share with someone. Odd how I would feel more comfortable talking about it with strangers. It didn't bother me. It had, for a while in my 20s and early 30s but then eventually it became part of my identity and I didn't really care. Sometimes I took it as a point of pride, that I could be okay with this and I wasn't like all those jackasses obsessed with the procurement of sex. Look at TV. The average sitcom character treats sex like food -- they need it with a certain frequency or else they'll die. And there's this awful ethos in American culture that the measure of a man is how much sex he has. I remember back in high school I hung out with a group of guys who were just complete buttheads. Something like 80% of every conversation they had was about how much they wanted to bang various girls in the school. Those idiots wouldn't know what to do with a woman if they got one. Then there was this dude John, and I'll never forget senior year when he was laying out his intricate plan to get his prom date to sleep with him. So these experiences added up, and bothered so that at some point, it felt like a club I never wanted to join. Like I was afraid of the activity. I was afraid it would change my personality. Probably sounds silly. But also I wasn't all that interested in sex to begin with. I beat off now and then so it kinda handles that desire. And I have a close female friend, my best friend of 18 years, a beautiful woman we will just call Andrea. And we go on a lot of things that are basically dates. Dinner and a movie. A day at an amusement park. Hanging around watching TV. Back in March we went to a comedy show together. So she fulfills a lot of the emotional needs that a girlfriend might. Some people might say I was friend zoned because I have an attractive female friend who I don't have sex with, but I love my relationship with her just the way it is. At one point, I thought that maybe my first time would happen when the time was right. Like, circumstance would just make it happen and if it didn't, so what? Then like two months ago something happened. I'm not sure what. My beloved cat died suddenly. He was 7 years old, but he contracted some sort of cancer and I had to put him to sleep. I think that was what triggered it all. It put me in this frame of mind that life is never going to follow a script. Things that are supposed to happen won't happen and things that aren't supposed to happen will. And I just got curious. Sex became like skydiving. Or bungee jumping. Just, you know, an experience you want to have. I actually tied this jaunt in with another thing I wanted to do which was drive down the entirety of interstate 80. So the idea of visiting a brothel just planted itself in my head and wouldn't go away. So I took a week off work and drove from Chicago to Reno and made an appointment with Pantera. It's a big decision, both financially and emotionally. Being a virgin and being afraid of sex meant I would have to select a partner who I felt would be able to handle all that. Pantera had written a nice post on the topic of losing your virginity. She seemed very sweet and smart. Other reviews painted a picture of a woman who was not judgemental and could put people at ease. I booked my appointment and showed up to the ranch. My heart was pounding as I waited in the parlor. She came out after a few minutes and I actually didn't recognize her for a moment. Pantera is smaller in person. Maybe because all her pictures are so close up? So I think I hesitated to rise and greet her. We negotiated, and then went out to dinner (or late lunch? How do you classify a meal eaten at 4:30 PM?) We went to Johnny Rocket's. We chatted. We ate. It was nice. Felt a lot like my time with Andrea. Then we returned to the ranch. Then I showered. She was amused that I put my clothes back on after the shower. I guess she had a point, but I've been showering since I was 11 so it didn't really occur to me to change up the usual routine. So then she got naked, then I got naked, and we got down to business. I was surprised that I actually felt comfortable being naked with another person in the room. I don't know how she made me feel at ease and made the nerves go away. It was like magic. I had been a little worried that the antidepressants I take would make it difficult for me to get hard, but she made it happen. When she told be to lay in the middle of the bed, and she climbed up on top, I thought "Wow, it's actually inside of a woman." At the moment of insertion, I said "hey I guess I'm not a virgin any more". I was a little nervous during the process because I didn't know exactly what to do. I made some educated guesses, somewhat apologetically saying "yeah I don't really know what I'm doing". But she assured me that I was doing fine. So the sex was fantastic, definitely exceeded expectations. But I think more importantly, it felt right. It didn't feel cheap and gross and tawdry, like I might expect from paying for sex. The time at Johnny Rockets made it feel like I had a date with some nice woman I had met on eHarmony or something. After we finished, we sat around and chatted for a little bit. Just naked and talking like old friends. So listen guys, if you're a virgin, and painfully shy, and basically terrified of intimacy, Pantera is an excellent choice to have your first experience with. I am glad to say that my first time truly was something special and wonderful. And I never believed that it could be so if I paid for it. I am glad I was wrong.
Great review Ray. So glad it all worked out and you had a wonderful time. I, like you, was nervous my first time. I had a lineup which can be stressful. I wasn't a virgin but it had been a very long time since I had been with a woman. The ladies I have been with have all been so very nice and made me feel at ease. I'm much older than they are.
You’re so sweet! Thank you for coming to see me! Lunch/Dinner was awesome and hanging out with you was even awesomer haha I’m going to email you in a little.
@RayAdverb. I’m going to agree with you. Pantera’s pictures do not do her justice! She’s probably going to kill me for saying that. Since her and me had this conversation already. Lol. She definitely has a beautiful sol about her. Im glad it all worked out for you….
I won't kill you! I think it's a compliment for sure Maybe I should smile a little more in photos lol
