To keep with the thermos theme: A blond was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold." "Wow," said the blond, "That's amazing... I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked? "That's a thermos... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied. Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?" The blond replied..... "Two Popsicles and some coffee."
got this as an email ENJOY - A Blonde's Year in Review January Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight. February Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..... Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!! March Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months..... Box said ' 2-4 years!' April Trapped on escalator for hours ... Power went out!!! May Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!! June Tried to go water skiing....... Couldn't find a lake with a slope. July Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... Learned later that the other swimmers cheated- they used their arms!!! August Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... Darn car filled up with water because convertible top was open. September The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it??? October Hate M & M's.....They are so hard to peel. November Baked Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days ... Instructions said bake 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!! December Couldn't call 911. 'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!! THE BEST BLONDE JOK E OF THE YEAR - SO FAR A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and Stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?' To which she replied, 'There certainly is!' (Are you ready? This is a beauty...) 'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
BLONDE ON THE SUN A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!' The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!' The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. 'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
Three mothers are sitting at a table having lunch. One is brunette, one is redheaded, and the third is blonde. Brunette: "I was looking through my daughter's backpack today and I found a package of cigarettes. I can't believe my daughter smokes!" Redhead: "I was looking through my daughter's closet today and I found a bottle of vodka. I can't believe my daughter drinks!" Blonde: "I was looking through my daughter's drawer today and I found a box of condoms. I can't believe my daughter has a penis!"
A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a blonde girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops. "What are you doing?" he asks."I'm going to commit a suicide," she says. While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So, she does. After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous Why are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......" :lol: :lol:
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon theirarrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says'Do Not Disturb'!"
I hope this isn't a repeat , I'm not gonna read two pages of jokes to find out > > A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO CHICAGO WHEN A BLONDE IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN. > > THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE HER TICKET. > > SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK. > > THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO CHICAGO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." > > THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER SEAT. > > THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND RETURN TO HER SEAT. > > THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL, I'M GOING TO CHICAGO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE." > > THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE WOMAN, WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON. > > THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE? I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE." > > HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY. > > THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT > ANY FUSS. > > "I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO CHICAGO ". Chili
being a blonde myself i dont know toooooo many blonde jokes but daddy yours is funny!!! keep em coming!! <3 emily
I have a blonde aunty so i know a lot of them.............. lol Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything? A: Penicillin. Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg? A. Nothing, they haven't met! Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money. Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers? A: They can't keep their calves together! Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'? A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.' Q. Why do blondes wear underwear? A. To keep their ankles warm. Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? A. So she can have a doggie bag for later. Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball. Q. What do a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common? A. They both have a black box.
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