Civic Lesson In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old. A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"
THE BLONDEMORTICIAN > A man who'd just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, > > expertly tailored black suit.. > > The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the > body > dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is > already wearing. > > The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best > in > blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician > a > blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my > husband in > a blue suit for the viewing.' > > The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her > husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit > > fits him perfectly... > > She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied.. You did > an > excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' > To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check. > > 'There's no charge,' she says. > > 'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue > suit!' > she says. > > 'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased > gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left > > yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if > she > minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it > made > no difference as long as he looked nice.' > > 'So I just switched the heads.' > > > (BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING!!!) -Courtesy of Bruce
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3 People in a Airplane Once there were 3 people in an airplane, one took a bite out of an apple. She thought it was too sweet so she threw it out of the plane. The second person took a bite out of a lemon and she thought it was too sour so, she threw it out of the plane. Then the last person took a bite out of a grenade and he thought it was too crunchy so, he threw it out of the plane. Then they landed and decided to go for a walk. They first passed a little girl who was crying and they asked, "little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" and the little girl said, "an apple came down and killed my new kitty". Next they passed a little boy who was also crying. And they again asked, "little boy, little boy, why are you crying?" and the little boy said, "a lemon came down and killed my new puppy." Then they passed a blonde sitting on the side walk laughing her butt off. They asked, "why are you laughing so hard?" and the blonde said, "I farted and the building behind me blew up!!"
A beautiful blonde goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy that’s so homely looking, he hasn’t had a date in over a year, also, he’s so dumb that one night he slept with a ruler next to his head to see how long he slept. So he figures that he has absolutely no chance in the world to score a date with this ravishing buxom blonde. Then suddenly she strikes up a conversation with him and soon they become rather chummy. It starts to get late and the bartender calls out last drink for alcohol, then the blonde leans over to the guy and says, “Let’s have this last drink at my apartment.” Taken back by her request, and trembling, the guy finally utters the word, “OK.” They get up from the bar stool arm and arm headed for the door, when the blonde stops him and says, “Before we go back to my apartment there’s one thing I have to tell you, I’m on my menstrual cycle.” He says, “That’s ok, I’ll follow you in my Honda Chili
You've got to love this one D!! "A guy decides to bring his new blonde girlfriend to a football game. After the game is over, he asks her if she liked the game. She replies: "Oh it was great, I loved watching those men in tight clothes, but there is one thing I don't understand." "What did you not understand ?" And the blonde says: "Well, at the begginning of the game, both teams flipped a quarter to see who would kick off first. Then the rest of the game everybody was yelling get the quarter back, get the quarter back, get the quarter back. So I thought to myself, gosh it's just a quarter!"
LOL these are all so funny! Totally made my night I would post some, but I think all the good ones got taken plus, when you make jokes about blondes, they attack. Wait a sec.. maybe i should post some after all hehe Jessica Rose xxx
Smart!! I must say ! Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice. And she adds, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she takes off everything but her necklace and rolls the dice while yelling, "Mama needs new clothes." Then she yells, "YES, YES, YES!! I WON, I WON, I WON." She begins jumping up and down and hugging both of the dealers. Then she picks up her money and her clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?" The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching." xoxo
The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve. "Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats". :lol: :lol:
Was online and had seen this one! had to post it... xoxo Babyy, Holly monroe Brunette Joke A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."
Blonde Prostitute In testifying before the Judge in a rape case, the complaining witness, a Blonde Prostitute was asked by the Judge. “When did it occur to you that the defendant raped you versus his claim of consensual sex? The Blonde replied ” when his check bounced.” xoxo, Holly Monroe
Q: What's the difference between a Mosquito and a blonde? A: If you slap a Mosquito, it will stop sucking.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and most men? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count. :lol: :lol: :lol: xoxo, Holly Monroe
