“Are you fucking kidding me?! Why here?! Why now?!” I screamed this as I looked at the oil gauge in my Jeep Cherokee. It was hovering over zero! I hadn’t noticed before I made this trip but my engine was leaking oil! I was pulled over to the side of the road in the Salt Flats, 20 miles shy of Wendover. My mom and my uncle were in their way to rescue me. This wasn’t how this day was supposed to go! I was on my way to celebrate my birthday in style! I was going to a brothel! But at that point, I was only going to go home. I wasn’t sure months prior that I’d make another brothel trip. I thought I’d be one and done after losing my virginity. These days, I’m very thankful for the brothels. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I was sure I was going to meet someday but she also sent a bus ticket to her ex to travel from Texas to North Dakota, even though I thought she lived in Wyoming. She wasn’t the least bit shy in letting me know she’d been fucking him and this led to an anxiety attack that left me with a moment of clarity. We were done. It was over. I stopped calling and I stopped messaging. I had attempted this brothel trip before she messaged me to tell me that her roommate knocked her up. I knew we were done. There was just no getting around it. I was standing outside of my Jeep when my mom’s truck came rolling up. My uncle had bought a case of oil and poured most of it into my engine. He then decided to drive my Jeep back home. I ride with. He was going 90 on the highway. As it turned out, the leak was from a bad oil filter. My uncle replaced it and put the last of the oil into my engine. I began to wonder if there was some malevolent force trying to make my life hell or if I was just unlucky. I do have a wild imagination. So that didn’t go as planned. My long distance ex continued to chat me up and complain about the guy she replaced me with. She wanted to be friends but I think I was supposed to be Plan B. A backup boyfriend. But I am no one’s backup plan! I didn’t tell her about the attempted brothel trip. Looking back, what if I had? She and I ended up having a falling out and we didn’t speak for a year. The second act failed miserably. There was no third act. So the ill-fated trip took place in the last part of May in 2006. I then attempted and successfully made my second trip in August. That day started at the gym. Before then, I hadn’t concretely planned anything. But I thought, “Why not?” I jumped in my Jeep to make my first Nevada trip on my own. Now that everything is working right, I made the trip that should have occurred in May. At least three of my brothel trips took place after breakups. This one was one I saw coming. The one after was after one I didn’t see coming. I’ve written about that one. The third was after my divorce in 2019. So I came into that same brothel and requested a lineup. I got with the most attractive lady in the lineup. She had long dark hair and was older than my first, but still a beauty! Her name was Natalie. She asked “What’s your name?” I said “I’m Nick.” She said “That’ll be easy to remember! Nick! Natalie!” Don’t fall in love, Nick! Don’t fall in love, Nick! But I love a lady with a sense of humor. She asked me if I was heading somewhere. I told her the whole point of my trip was the brothel. “That’s so sweet! I’ll make it special for you!” We negotiated an hour and the party was booked. She seemed pretty excited to get naked with me. After she booked, we went into a room that had a hot tub in it. Not the VIP room but one of the others. We had a conversation about what brought me there that day, that I live in Utah and dating sucked, even in those days. She told me, “I get that. But at least you came here. I’ll always be glad to see you.” We got out of the hot tub and went back to her room. It was two years since my last trip, and if I knew what kind of luck I’d have in dating, I’d have gone more. Hell, even these days, it’s an annual thing and it’s like losing my virginity all over again. I was suffering from equipment failure again. Fortunately, she had more patience than my first. She had a lot of experience and tried to keep me going. We did book an extension. So we finished this session with mutual masturbation. I was able to get off watching her and listening her her orgasm and cheer me on at the same time. Our party finished up. I kinda wished I’d have seen Natalie again. At the time, though, I was still hoping to meet “the one.” As much fun as I had with Natalie, I walked away from my second brothel trip wondering what I was doing with my life. These days, I’m not sure I’d have it any other way. I was half expecting my car not to work when I tried to start it but it did. Time for the long ride home. Again, I wish I’d come out more. I even thought about it a lot.
