BLOG POST: PORN SEX vs REAL SEX by KIMBERLY KANE

Forum Blog Post Sneak Peek:

Porn Sex vs Real Life Sex​

A dive into the misconceptions of pornography by Kimberly Kane​

This subject is incredibly important since the rise of free porn on the internet and the fact that anyone of any age can view hardcore pornography. I am just old enough that I didn’t grow up with free porn. When I was young, all porn sites were paywalled. Meaning you wouldn’t see much without throwing down a credit card for a website membership which was around $60 a month.

I remember porn tapes being as valuable as gold. If you had a really good porn tape you could trade it like currency. This might sound unbelievable to folks but the first time I ever saw a DP (double penetration) scene on video, I was 18 and I did not believe it was humanly possible, I thought it was some fancy camera angle trick.

Now a days seeing a DP is one of the least shocking sex acts you can see on the Internet. We have an entire generation that has grown up being able to access hardcore pornography for free and the concept of paywalls to view porn is simply abstract. My question is at what cost is the free porn generation really paying on a psychological level?

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I am not a psychologist, I’m a pornographer/sex worker and I’m out here in the world talking to “generation tubesite” and they tell me sex gives them anxiety. They have watched thousands of hours of porn and instead of it making them feel confident they feel inadequate. They think their penis’ aren’t big enough, if their partners aren’t screaming and squirting during sex they think they’re doing something wrong. There isn’t a lot of foreplay in porn so this very important aspect of intimacy is sometimes skipped over entirely. Because of the lack of access to sex education young people are watching porn to learn about sex. Which is about as warped as looking to social media to learn about inner happiness. Porn is entertainment not educational material.

The best way I can simply explain porn sex vs. real sex is by asking this question, “Do you believe the Superman movies are real? Do you believe Superman is flying around fighting crime? Of course you don’t! We can give superhero movies a suspension of disbelief. Now, try lending the same suspension of disbelief when watching porn.

Porn is a performance. The bigger the dick, the louder the screams, the more effortless position changes the better! Porn performers are simultaneously thinking about lights, body position and our next move. You’re also trying to convey connection and realism for the audience. If the scene is executed well the sex will seem easy but I assure you it is not. A great porn performance is a physical and artistic craft. It should also be noted that there are also camera operators and crew who's experience lends to the creation of great pornography, just like mainstream Hollywood movies.

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I personally do not have porn style sex at home. In order for me to be in the zone I need to calm my mind, focus on my partner and be in the moment. I want to genuinely please my partner and I want reciprocation in an honest and connected way. Sometimes my real sex is quiet and passionate, giggly and cute or sexually dominate and perverted. Another difference in my real sex is something not often seen in porn. I always incorporate my Doxy vibrator to reach orgasm because I do not climax from penetration alone.

If you take anything away from my post understand that pornstars are not always having crazy sex off camera. Lend some disbelief to the performance as physical acting and find comfort in the fact that even pornstars are having lazy, cuddle sex just like anyone else. Appreciate porn for what it is, entertainment like your favorite superhero movies!

Kimberly Kane

Have questions, comments or suggestions on my next blog post? Comment below!

Photo Credit:
Wonder Woman XXX
Vivid Entertainment

 

Side poll: Should I track down that Wonder Woman suit and put it on display at the Bunny Ranch?

 

Yes. Also, may I suggest you keep it around for cosplay fantasies and the occasional ranch party?

You look great in the suit!

 

I know the lady who bought it at an auction for $800. Maybe she’ll sell it to me!

 

Wait till you here a bunch of college frat boys, at the local strip bar... They were talking about HUCOWS ,and how could anyone do that. And on cue, one of the stripers . Told them that she was milked every day.. By a older man . Who hooked her up on a milking machine ! And sure enough there was a goat milking machine in the back of my pickup....""Picked it up for a sister's she could get milking her goats! But what I find interesting ,that these college boys. Would not know what to do with a actual female.... They trip over their dicks.....From what I have heard, are some of the worst lovers. Who need a instruction manual on what to do! They think what they see is what everyone does in real life!

 

That would've been the perfect time to lean over to them and say, "There's an app for that."

 

Nice job on your first blog post Kimberly ! Thanks for taking the time to write it . Even knowing a lot of this already it's still nice to hear someone in the industry admit that they enjoy "boring" sex as much as the rest of us mere mortals !

I feel for future generations who are going to grow up with the tube sites as their only guide on how to act in the bedroom . I have to admit even knowing it's just a fantasy it can still make me feel insecure from time to time . I can only imagine how much worse it must be for someone that grew up with a never ending stream of this stuff .

 

Only if you throw in the Dana Scully outfit to go along side of it . They both need to be preserved for historically purposes !

 

Kimberly I was watching Lisa Ling last night and she had a show about Porn Addiction. The show was about how easy it is for young people to get porn. I laughed when you talked about the video tapes and how they would be traded around. My senior year we had a tape traded around most of my friends until one guy got it and said he threw it away. Anyway we had to wait till we were 18 and could go behind the wall to the porn section in the video store. Now it's on your phone. I'm glad that I didn't have access to porn like that. The show interviewed guys who were addicted to porn. They have Unrealistic thoughts about sex or sexual problems. The sad thing is they don't understand the pleasures of intimacy with a lady.
They never mentioned the Ranches as an alternative to porn. Experiencing a fantasy for real is so much more fun than watching it. At the ranch I get to have those wild fantasies or the fun GFE parties where after partying with someone for a while you know what the other person likes you can laugh, fall out the bed, or accidentally head but each other basically have awkward everyday sex but have so much more pleasure and fun because you are comfortable with that person and then you can cuddle and pillow talk after the party. Those kinds of parties are so cool because you get to experience intimate moments. I think that is one of the many reasons coming to the ranch is one of the best alternatives to porn or strip clubs.

 

I caught a few minutes of the Lisa Ling show the other night as well. I'm glad people are starting to talk about this topic openly. I also liked the wrap up statement. She didn't demonize porn, she said people need to talk about this issue with their kids or someone else will / or they'll just learn everything from porn which isn't realistic.

 

Awesome info!!! Book your fabulous party with @KimberlyKane today!!!

 

Looks like you’re always having a great time

 

Did you read my blog post? What did you think? I have a few ideas cooking for my next post. What do YOU want me to write about next?

 

Great blog post. Interesting to hear the perspective of someone that has been in the industry as both an actor and producer\director. I also grew up in the video tape era and just getting a tape back in the 80's and 90's was an adventure in itself. Finding a store, finding a tape that would interest you enough to want to spend 20 or 30 bucks or more, the whole trip was actually part of the adventure and the entertainment. I agree that porn is best viewed as pure entertainment only. The superhero analogy is right on the money.

Love to hear your thoughts on what you think the future of sex work is going to look like or what you hope it will be like.

Also a blog about your favorite kind of sessions. Kinky GFE, Sensual Domination, etc I'm sure would be a great read.

Thanks for the great info

 

Thanks for the detailed response! All of your suggestion topics are right on the money. I was thinking Sensual Domination would be my next topic but all of those are perfect.

 

Porn vs Brothel Parties
What are the differences?
Do you enjoy one more than the other?
Are Brothel Parties more gratifying?
Are Brothel Parties more intimate?
Porn is Sexy a Fun but for me parties at the Ranch leave me smiling and floating for days.

 

Thanks Kimberly! From one Living Legend to another, Bravo!

It has been my experience that many men DO get their moves from porn! I hope Max Hardcore knows that the female spirit of the universe had some play in his imprisonment!