A penquin needs the air conditioning fixed in his car. While he waits, he goes to the ice cream parlor across the street and orders vanilla but forgets to wipe his mouth. When he goes back to the auto shop, the mechanic asks him "Did you blow a seal?"
Not my favorite, but it is a funny. Twelve Italian priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest. He bent over to pick it up... And all the other bells started to ring.
