Classic Dirty Joke of the Day

Name 2 famous people shot in a theater:

Abraham Lincoln and the person sitting in front of Pee Wee Herman in the movie theater.

 

What is the best thing about having a hooker die during your party?

You get the second hour for free!

 

I dont have any, I am going to use one of El Duderino's jokes:
What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and chickpea?
I've never had a garbanzo bean in my face

 

"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!"

She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.

 

11 guys started gang-banging this German chick. She yelled, “Nein! Nein!” So 2 of them left.

 

What's the difference between a priest and a zit?

A zit waits to come on your face until your 16

 

• Q. What did one butt cheek say to the other? A. Together, we can stop this shit.

 

I found out what happened to the lady with herpes on her eyebrows. She was looking for love in all the wrong places.

 

“Then Johnny asks the teacher, "You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream. Which one is married?" And the teacher responds, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're thinking!”