Here's one that was sent to me A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her. She goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and sure enough, she opens the door and finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, now she's angry! She opens her purse to take out the gun but as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and points to her head. The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!" "Shut up," she says, "You're next."
Sorry if this offends ...I was told to put this one up.... Q: what do you get when you flip a blonde over? A: a brunette with bad breath!
I have noticed almost every blonde joke is about a female blonde....well here is one for the guys about guys... An Italian, Hispanic and Blonde American construction workers always took their lunches together. One day the Italian opened his lunch box and said 'Fuck!! My wife packed me Spaghetti again for lunch! If I get one more lunch of Spaghetti I am jumping off of this building!" The Hispanic, pulled out his lunch and exclaimed, "Shit! Tacos?! again I swear one more day of these tacos and I too will jump off of this sky scraper." The Blonde American worker- peered into his lunch and moaned loudly, " Son of a Bitch-Turkey Sandwich!? Again? One more day of this and I swear-I am going to throw myself right off of this building." Sure enough the next day, The Italian man unpacked the lunch his wife packed for him and it was Spaghetti---he jumped to his death. The Hispanic man also opened his lunch to find tacos-and chose to end his misery in plunging to his death. Finally the American blonde opened his lunch to find a turkey sandwich and also took his life jumping off the roof----only catch He was single and packed his own lunches. :lol:
Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed alot of semen. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckleprint on her forehead. Q: Why doesn't a blondes guts fall out of her twat when she stands? A: Because the vacuum in her head keeps them in place.
A blonde was weed-eating her yard and accidentally cut off the tail of her cat which was hiding in the grass. She rushed her cat, along with the tail, over to WAL-MART! Why WAL-MART?? wait for it ...... HELLOOOOOOOOO! WALMART is the largest re-tailer in the world!!!
I hope this isn't a repeat , I didn't take the time to read all 2 pages Sorry if it is An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, considering that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4.. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?” The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.” Chili
Nice! How about this? Q .. What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A .. Bigfoot has been spotted.
Three blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?" The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer, and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, he opened it, pulled out a picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able to detect. You must be able to notice things such as distinguishing features and oddities like scars and so forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds. "Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features about this man?" The blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one eye!" The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face! You're dismissed!" The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office. The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back, and said, "What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding about this man?" "Yes! He only has one ear!" The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed, "Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one ear! You're excused too!" The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office. The detective turned his attention to the third and last blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..." He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything distinguishing or unusual about this man?" The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact lenses." The detective frowned, took another look at the picture, and began looking at some of the papers in the folder. He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled expression and said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at his picture?" The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Hellooooooooooooo! With only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses." Chili
this blonde "joke" was posted in the Richard Marx website posting board and none of us got it. I'd like to hear your takes on this odd joke. There's two blond girls in a tiny café downtown. One blond girl sitting at a little table. The other blond girl walks towards her and asks her: "Hello can I sit in the middle, please?"
There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from an airplane. Ten were blonde, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, "I'll get off." After a really touching speech from the brunette saying she would get off, all of the blondes started clapping. Problem solved.
My favorite blonde joke: (Hope it wasn't posted already.) What do you call a blonde brunette, blonde brunette, blonde brunette? -A blonde doing a cartwheel.
The "blonde joke" is the only thing you have been unable to tame with your superpowers. Uh... maybe Chica too.
:lol: :lol: :lol: I hope that returns to be your biggest problem. That cat had you snookered from the first meow. I think they run the world. Has she coaxed you into having live fish in your house yet? Watch out for that ploy.
Didn't need Chica's coaxing for that. I've had a tank full of African cichlids since February. Yes, she's happy about it.
basic jokes, Q: How do you kill a blond? A: stick a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: A Rooster says in the Morning - "Cockll-doodlle-doooooo", while a blonde shouts, "Any-cock'll-doooo." Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Atlantic Coast? A: There's fewer crabs in the Atlantic. Q: what was the blondes all time favorite nursery rhyme? A: HumpMe DumpMe Q: What do you call 2 nuns and a blonde? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver. Q:Why does a blonde have the letters TGIF on sweater? A: to remind her tits go in front Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? A: So her male would get delivered to the right box. A blonde goes up to a soda machine, puts in a dollar, and out pops a soda. Then she keeps on putting in money for about 15 minutes until a man walks up behind her and asks, may I get one? The blonde simply replies, no, can't you see that I am on a winning streak? Q: What's the difference between a Blonde and a bowling ball? A: You can only get three of your fingers inside a bowling ball.
There was a burning building with a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde at the top. The firemen yelled to the redhead to jump into a blanket so she jumped off the building. But right as she was about to safely hit the blanket they moved it and she died. They then yelled to the brunette to jump but she said,”No! I saw what you did to the redhead!” They shouted back, “We don’t like redheads!” So the brunette jumped and sure enough they moved the blanket and she died. Then they shouted to the blonde to jump off into the blanket. But the blonde says,”No! I saw what you did to them!” They shouted, “We didn’t like them!” The blonde then says, “I don’t trust you guys, so why don’t you just put the blanket on the ground and step back!” Chili
DISNEYLAND Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home. :lol:
