Q: Why do so many woman want and have blond hair? A: When it starts to turn grey, it's eaiser to hide!
A blonde walks into a Florida shoe store and falls in love with the alligator shoes but decides they're too expensive. She mutters something about getting her own and leaves. Later, the store manager is driving home when he sees her by the swamp with a rifle and a pile of alligators next to her. As he moves closer, she throws another alligator on the pile and says... "Damn, no shoes on that one either."
I have a joke as well. Q: How do you make a blond's eyes light up? A: Shine a light in her ear. :roll:
Two casino dealers are at the craps table when a cute blonde comes over and says, "I want to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. But, if you don't mind, I'd I feel much luckier if I were completely nude." They say fine, she strips naked from the neck down, and rolls the dice. Then she screams, "I won! I won!" She starts jumping up and down, hugs each of the dealers, and then picks up her money and her clothes and walks away. For a minute the two dealers stare at each other. Then the first one says, "What did she roll, anyway?" The second dealer says, "I don't know. I thought you were watching."
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
These are so funny! I have one. Q:How does a blonde turn a light on after sex? A:Opens the car door. Q: What's a blondes mating call? A: I think I'm drunk. Q: What's a brunnettes? A: Is that blonde gone yet?
How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to hold the light bulb in place and one to spin the ladder around.
Oh yeah, my ladder needs a good spinnin'... It needs to be spinning like a drunk guy on a merry go 'round.
check out this one, Daddy D....... A blond is driving down a deserted highway when she gets pulled over. The cop gets out of his car and asks if she has been drinking and she replies "No". So he radios the station and asks what to do. The cop at the station says "Is she a blond driving a lipstick red corvet?" and the cop replies "Yes". So the other cop says "What you do is tell her to get out of the car and pull out your dick as you walk up to her". So the cop does exactlly what the other cop says. The blond gets out of the car and he whips out his dick. The blond "sighs" and says please not another breathalizer test.
what about this? Q: Why did the blonde think it was Sunday? A: Because the sun was out. Kelly, its sunny out, maybe a threesome with sunny Lane?
A Russian, an American, and a brunette were talking one day. The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American said, "We were the first on the moon!" The brunette said, "So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You can’t land on the sun, you idiot! You’ll burn up!" said the Russian. To which the brunette replied, "We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!"
Here are some blonde jokes that I get laughs with regularly: Q: What do a blonde and spaghetti have in common? A: They both wriggle when you eat them Q: How do you know your boss has a blonde secretary? A: The computer screen has white out on it. Q: Did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her boyfriend's car? A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe
Good one Anna. :lol: Here are a few more: Q: Why did the blonde nurse bring a red marker to work? A: In case she had to draw blood Q: What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot's been spotted Q: Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? A: She lost the recipe Q: Why are blonde jokes so easy to understand? A: So brunettes can understand them
There was a married blonde who was concerned about her stupidity to her husband. She decided to make it up to him by painting their home. When her husband came home, he smelled the paint so he went to his wife to see what was going on. He went into the bathroom and observed that she was wearing a ski jacket on top of a leather jacket. He says, "I like what you've done with the house but why are you wearing a ski jacket on top of a leather jacket?" The blonde replies, "When I was reading the instructions on the can it said 'For best results, use two coats'".
What does a blonde do first thing in the morning? Goes home. How does a blonde turn on the light in the morning? Opens the car door. Why does a blonde's belly button hurt after sex? Her boyfriend is also blonde.
A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation. She was awake, so he examined her. "You'll be fine," he said. She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?" The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl. "What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?" He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out." Chili
