@BigAlbowski was hired to sing for Lily's dinner party, but his Mariachi band missed a beat to a backstreet boys song and he got busted lip synching.
@Old Nick is the man that WWE Superstars test out finishing moves on... He retired after taking 2500 Stone Cold Stunners and 3000 Tombstone Pile Drivers!
American Pickers were going through @BigAlbowski's barn and found an octopus aquarium with Starwoman stickers on the glass and old crayon drawings of frogs in WWE poses. They got the aquarium for 20 bucks, but he wanted 500 for the drawings. He got 450.
I might have to make the Starwoman character in WWE 2K18. @Natasha Star once told me about a spot in the desert where you might find some really good things. I went out to the spot she mentioned and I found a shack. In that shack was a box of Masters of the Universe action figures in surprisingly great condition, some bootleg Mercyful Fate recordings, a Starwoman manga drawn by Akira Toriama (love his Dragon Quest artwork by the way), and a video of me on a karaoke night. Whoever shot that is anyone’s guess. LOL
@Old Nick has put together a model kit of the USS Enterprise from Star Trek the original series every week for the last 15 years... He has 780 ships.
@RoxyGold can tell you where the best clam chowder can be had, but only at certain times of the day. The walls have ears, you know.
@Old Nick spends each day watching British sitcoms while having tea, scones, and cucumber sandwiches.
@Old Nick was reincarnated from Cleopatra's pet cat, "Mittens." He was the true strength behind her, known as her enforcer and expert fisher. Caesar crossed the cat. Now we know the true history. Et Tu, Old Nick? Et tu?
Coincidentally, I have a cat named Mittens. LOL @Natasha Star currently holds the highest score in Ms Pac-Man, one of the crazy sped up versions of it.
@ChristineFowler is my tied up part time slave in the Bellagio's rooftop dungeon. She likes it when I bind her ankles and hands with licorice rope and I get her backside with my horsehair flogger.... But one night I stepped out for a water, and before she could eat through the licorice rope, a helicopter landed on the roof, and rotorwash blew the curtains open. This big shot movie exec got off and walked past the window and saw her tied up and me walking back in with my flogger in hand. Now they're making a movie about us. Sandra Bullock is playing me, and Nicole Kidman is playing Christine. They're calling it "Licorice in the Rotorwash."
@Natasha Star tried out for the beer commercial that showed two girls fighting, but lost the part when she showed up to the shoot wearing a full suit of armor.
@Old Nick once went water-skiing behind the aircraft carrier USS Ronald Reagan and lost control 200 miles off the coast of San Diego.
And that’s the last we saw of our hero. LOL @BigAlbowski trained the next generation of Voltron pilots.
The great freeze of 2019 has been blamed on many things, but in reality, it started when @Old Nick Left his chest freezer open when he went to have his Rolls Royce polished. It took them so long to shine all the chrome, that temperatures had already dropped 70 degrees before he got back. But at least his burgers were still good, and now he ice skates instead of water skiing.
@BigAlbowski holds the championship title for super whack-a-mole, earned at the only place Super Whack-A-Mole is played... In the realm of Princess Bride, with the Rodents of Unusual Size lunging through the floor and a replica Thor's hammer to fight back. Most contestants don't survive. To hold championship title is major bragging rights, plus it comes with free food!! You get a free bag of skittles once every 6 months from the local gas station.
@Old Nick scored the biggest goal in United States soccer history with his historic game winner over France in second half stoppage time to give the Yanks the World Cup!
@ColinSTL brings a blowpipe and darts to sporting events to shoot the opposing team members with a drug to impair their performance... He's a HUGE hometown sports fan!!
Big Albowski is a cosmic entity that delights in putting a person's life into a VCR and then pressing the fast forward button!
Douglas Adams got his idea for Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy by stealing @Lunch Buffet's 9th grade homework for his Creative Writing class. Adams later felt guilty, and agreed to split all the fish he earned in payment for the book with him, thusly, he took the name Lunch Buffet. His cat now dines on only the freshest daily-delivered fish... (have you seen his icon?)
@Old Nick has collected every news article he can find reporting on the mythical creature the Jersey Devil... Unfortunately most of his collection is old Hockey sports stories about the New Jersey Devils NHL team!
@BigAlbowski is an old school tech junkie, making his oscilloscope play pong, and using vacuum tubes to talk with other countries. He accidentally talked with spies in China once, who then tried to hack him, but only found pictures of Princess Diana, Bigfoot and animated kitten GIFs on his computer. They kept copies of the Kitty GIFs.
@Natasha Star once found what looked like a map to a supposed treasure buried somewhere in the desert. Naturally, she went to look for it. Upon finding where the treasure was buried, she dug up a box that contained Bill Clinton’s porn stash.
@Old Nick has every tattoo that Maroon 5's Adam Levine has except there is a spelling mistake ... CAFILORNIA
