I really didn’t realize until I immersed myself in brothel culture just how vulnerable and beleaguered the male species is. Before then, I believed media, advertisements, and culture that stereotyped men as only “thinking with the little head”, sexually opportunistic & exploitive, and only capable of one track thinking. I am a little sad that more women don’t utilize their opportunity to know a wider range of men intimately so, they too, might have the same epiphanies I did. Nature, I have noticed, is generally unkind to males. Often, their “value” depends on being able to perform the “3P’s” - Protect, Provide, Procreate. Once he begins to fail at being able to fulfill those primary functions, he’s often isolated socially, outcast, demoted in status. Because these abilities are so crucial to connection and status, most males of every species are innately wired to want to do what it takes to be successful in these arenas. He gets a natural high when he supports his loved ones, saves them from threats, and of course, when he gets to plant his seed in that fleshy furrow of hers. Since we’re talking in threes, there are three primary reasons why a man might find himself under-performing in these key areas; Failure to launch, Injury/illness, and simple aging. Regardless of the species, this often leads to depression and premature death. However, even the men who have reached a pinnacle of success, whose mate wants for nothing, can miss the loss of his role as provider, protector, & procreator. In the wild, as the male becomes more successful it’s common for him to take on more responsibility (more females to take care of). Domesticated humans still have that impulse. There doesn’t need to be a loss of love to cause him to mourn his increasing feelings of irrelevancy. Loss of purpose is an insidious stalker. Often, when men seek alternative ways to play these roles – for example by engaging in sex for pay relationships – it’s not frivolous. They are, in many ways, doing what they need to do to keep themselves vital and healthy. Re-enacting the 3P roles with a surrogate as his love interest can be just as effective as the real thing. And if he needs a little blue pill or a shot to make that happen – so be it. Once you realize how very important it is to a man’s health and well-being to be sexual then those aids can no longer be considered luxuries. While there are those clueless folk who attach stigma to the concept of “paying for it” - that very act of generosity serves a need as primal as the sex act itself. He’s not just fucking, but also providing for his surrogate mate. I became a sex worker as a form of gonzo story-telling for a book I was writing. The other day a tourist at our bar was looking at a copy of my book and asked, “So, is this a book about sex?” I answered the only way I could. “It was going to be until I found out it wasn’t.” My increasing understanding of the soul-nourishing value of transactional relationships has been as revitalizing to me as fulfilling the 3P’s has been for the men I’ve enjoyed in my brothel home.