Let's get some laughs!

Discussion in 'World Famous BunnyRanch Forum (Carson City)' started by Oxman, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    I'm going to start a joke stream so let's keep the laughs coming.

    The Lone Ranger was riding in the mountains when three bandits grab him and tie him up. The leader says "I know how famous you are and I can respect that. So I'm willing to give you a last request." The Lone Ranger thought about it and said " ok let me talk to my horse." The bandit looked puzzled but brought him his horse. Lone Ranger whispered in his horses ear and the horse took off running. It came back with a beautiful blond women. The three bandits took her and had their way with her and left her for dead. The leader said " your not going to bribe your way out of this but we can try again. What is your last request?" The Ranger said again, "let me speak to my horse?" So again the Ranger whispered is the horses ear and the horse took off again. Came back with a gorgeous brunette. The bandits again had their w ass y with her and left her for dead. The leader, getting tired of this said again "I want your last request". The Lone Ranger clearly mad leans over and yells in his horses ear, "I SAID POSSIE!"

    Let's keep it going. Laughter is the best medicine.
     
  2. Bobbi Besos
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    Bobbi Besos Well-Known Member

    Hahaha! I love this idea @Oxman, thank you so much for helping spread joy to us all. Here's my contribution!

    Q: What do Winnie the Pooh c94eed56a5e84479a2939c9172434567c0147d4f.jpeg and Jack the Ripper download (1).jpeg have in common?

    A: Their middle names.

    :p:D:p:D:p


    XOXO,


    [​IMG]

    [email protected]

     
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  3. jennyjade
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    jennyjade Well-Known Member

  4. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and a zit?

    A zit will wait until your 12 before it comes on your face.
     
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  5. A guy is on a date with a girl, so he takes her to Lovers' Lane.

    When they get up there, she says, ''I have to be honest with you -- I'm a hooker.'' The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it's okay. He agrees to pay her $100, and they start having sex.

    After they finish, the guy says, ''I have to be honest with you now. I'm a cab driver, and it'll cost you $100 for me to drive you back into town.''
     
  6. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    Why didn't Barbie ever get pregnant?

    Ken always came in another box.
     
  7. C_Note_KY
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    C_Note_KY Well-Known Member

    The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding thru the West when the Ranger has to answer the call of nature. While relieving himself behind a rock a rattlesnake pops out and bites him right on the pecker.

    He screams in agony and Tonto runs to his side to help. The Ranger tells Tonto "Go back to town and ask Doc Johnson what to do". Tonto does as requested and the doc tells him "You have to suck the poison out of the wound as soon as possible"

    Tonto is shocked by this instruction and asks if there is any other option. He is told no and takes off back to his friend. When he arrives the Ranger says "Well ... what did Doc say?" And Tonto looks down and replies "He said you gonna die Kemo Sabe"
     
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  8. C_Note_KY
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    C_Note_KY Well-Known Member

    An Irishman takes two friends, an Englishman & a Scotsman, to his favorite local pub. He orders 3 pints of Guinness but as he sets them on the table a fly lands in each glass.

    The Englishman is appalled and demands a brand new beer. The Scotsman laughs when he sees this, then simply flicks the fly off his glass and takes a drink.

    Meanwhile, the Irishman gently picks the fly out of his glass, holds it up and starts shaking it while screaming "SPIT IT OUT!!!
     
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  9. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    " I think I got my shoes from a drug dealer. Not sure what he laced them with but I have been tripping all day"
     
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  10. A man goes into a brothel,

    He says to the madam, "Hi, I'm a traveling salesman, I've been on the road for eight weeks. I'll pay $100 for the worst blow-job in the house."

    She says, "The worst...? For $100 you can have the best blow-job in the house!"

    He says, "No, it's all right, I'm not horny, I'm homesick."
     
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  11. randyryder
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    randyryder Pure heart with a dirty mind!


    Hehe!

    -Pure heart with a dirty mind,
    Randy Ryder
     
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  12. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    What's the difference between a tire and 365 condums?

    Ones a Goodyear and the other is a great year.
     
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  13. cumishaamado
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    cumishaamado Love Virgins, Couples & Girlfriend Experience

    This made me laugh!!! Thanks for sharing!!![smilie=heart fill with love.gif][smilie=heart fill with love.gif][smilie=heart fill with love.gif]
     
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  14. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    What is 6.9?
    A good thing screwed up by a period.
     
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  15. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    How do you get a nun pregnant?

    Dress her up as an alter boy.
     
  16. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    What does the mafia and a vagina have in common?

    A slip of the tongue and your in deep shit.
     
  17. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    For all the Veterans out there:

    Why is a BJ like being in the military?

    The closer you get to discharge the better you feel.
     
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  18. C_Note_KY
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    C_Note_KY Well-Known Member

    A teenage guy is gonna have sex with his girlfriend but wants to be responsible. He goes to the drugstore to buy condoms, waits until no one else is around, grabs a box and runs up to the register. The clerk tells him
    "That'll be 7.99 plus tax" The teen then nervously asks "Tacks?!? Won't they stay on by themselves"
     
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  19. Smith the undertaker walks into the room and pulls a box out of his pocket. “I know this is wrong on all levels but I couldn’t help myself,” he tells his wife. A man’s remains came into the funeral home this afternoon. While getting the body ready, I was utterly amazed at the size of his endowment he had and had to show it to you.” He opens the box and shows his wife the absolutely massive male organ resting inside. “Oh my god!” screams his wife, “Johnson is dead!”
     
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  20. Ragazo Solo
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    Ragazo Solo Well-Known Member

    A German Shepard, a Doberman, and a cat all arrive in heaven at the same time.
    All 3 are faced with a God who wants to know what they believe.

    The German Shepard says, "I believe in discipline, training, and loyalty to my master."
    "Good", says God, "Sit at my right side."

    The Doberman then says, "I believe in the love, care, and protection of my master. "
    God smiles at this and says, "You shall sit at my left."

    The God asks the cat, "What do you believe in?"
    The cat then answers, "I believe you are sitting in my seat."
     
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  21. randyryder
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    randyryder Pure heart with a dirty mind!

    OMG!! LOL!

    -Pure heart with a dirty mind,
    Randy Ryder
     
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  22. C_Note_KY
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    C_Note_KY Well-Known Member

    Why can't you drive a car faster than 68 mph?

    Cause to hit 69 ya gotta turn around
     
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  23. Thanks for the great laughs! I'll come back with a joke of my own!
     
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  24. randyryder
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    randyryder Pure heart with a dirty mind!

    Hehe!

    -Pure heart with a dirty mind,
    Randy Ryder
     
  25. A man sits down with his 10 year old son and says it’s time to tell him about the birds and the bees. The boy starts crying and the father, stunned, asks why. The boy replies “At 6, you told me there was no Tooth Fairy. At 7, you told me there was no Easter Bunny. At 8, you told me there was no Santa Claus. If you tell me now there’s no such thing as sex, I have nothing to live for!”
     
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  26. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    Smoking meth and posting bible verses doesn't make you a Methodist!
     
  27. JuniperJones
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    JuniperJones Well-Known Member

    Couldn’t agree more! Love this :)
     
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  28. Oxman
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    Oxman Well-Known Member

    Three generals and an admiral are discussing who has the best soldiers. The marine general says we can settle this, private climb up that power pole and do 10 jumping Jack's. He says yes sir and does just that. The general says, see that obedience. The navy admiral says, seaman climb that pole and do 10 flutter kicks. The seaman says yes sir and does just that. The general says, see that's loyalty. The army general says, private climb that pole and do 10 headstand pushups. The private says yes sir and does just that. The general says see that's skill. The airforce general says, airman climb that pole and do 10 situps. The airman looks at the general and says, hell no I won't. The general says, see that's brains.
     
  29. randyryder
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    randyryder Pure heart with a dirty mind!

    All these jokes sure do put a smile on my face!

    -Pure heart with a dirty mind,
    Randy Ryder
     
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