How Woman Drescribe themselves in personal's

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

* 40-ish..................................49.
* Adventurous.......................Slept with everyone.
* Athletic................................No breasts.
* Average looking.........................................................Moooo.
* Beautiful....................................................................Pathological liar.
* Emotionally Secure...................................................On medication.
* Feminist....................................................................Fat.
* Free Spirit..................................................................Junkie.
* Friendship first...........................................................Former Slut.
* New-Age....................................................................Body hair in the wrong places.
* Old-fashioned............................................................No B.J.'s
* Open-minded............................................................Desperate.
* Outgoing...................................................................Loud and embarrassing.
* Professional.............................................................Bitch.
* Voluptuous................................................................Very fat.
* Large frame...............................................................Hugely fat.
* Wants soul mate.......................................................Stalker.

 

Dennis;
That is to darn funny... True, but funny

 

LMAO
Thats so funny.

 

I love it and its so true.

Let's do one for guys, you go first

 

close with family= lives in his mothers basement

 

Decoding the Personals

Dennis,

Here's another one for the ladies:

* Traditional Values.........................Sex-o-phobe

...and several for we gents:

* Six-figure income.........................Microscopic Penis
* Enjoys Role-playing......................Video Gaming Nerd
* Success-oriented..........................Married to his Job
* Athletic........................................TV Sports Junkie

Have a happy holidays!

Best regards,
Speed Racer

 

Re: Decoding the Personals

 

funnnnnny!

what else do the guys say?

 

haha very funny..

its sad but true a lot of people play with the words..

im in the camp that says the truth..good or bad.

 

I agree, I want to do another one about guys, we nedd some input.

 

Re: Decoding the Personals

I love this stuff, it makes me laugh, thanks

 

Sensitive to women's needs.............His never had sex!!!

 

Looks Unimportant....................They'd Better Be Unimportant To You, Too

 

Nature Lover............Doesn't have a place to live

 

Great Lover.........Viagra
Handsome...........Beer Belly
Have my own hair........King Kong
I know women's need....3-1/2mins
Financially Independent.....Child Support/spousal Support
Executive.........................Flips Burgers

 

Now we are getting somewhere.

I like the "I know a woman's needs" FUNNY

What I know us when a girl I am with says "I can't cumm anymore", its time to get busy, there is always more

 

Here one for you...

 

Last one...

 

Here is another one for a man

Traditional and likes to wait... Married and scared to death his wife will find out

 

That's a good one...
Love his mom....when she call you answer um-mm he is not home he is at the bunny ranch

 

Thats a quick way to give his mom a heart attack lol

 

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = You'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?


MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit. = I'm gay.

 

Damn! Miss Stephanie you hit the nail right on the head. You are so right all us guys just want to get drunk and screw. Hey didn't someone write a country song about that? Keep up the good work girl! :wink:

 

Lol Thanks. I work with salesmen and the one thing they teach you is the truth!

 

This is so right on.

Wants pussy but scared to get caught! The truth is if would fuck mom right they would both be happy.

 

So true here.

* Friendship first...........................................................Former Slut.

So true, I definitely had sex on a few first dates
Oops ;D

 

Your hilarious Big D..lol Remember me...lol :wink:

 

more on personalities of men...

Men are like.......Bananas......The older they get, the less firm they are.
Men are like.......Weather......Nothing can be done to change them.
Men are like.......Chocolate Bars.....Sweet, smooth, & usually head right for your hips.
Men are like.......Coffee.....The best ones are rich, warm, & can keep you up all night long.
Men are like.......Commercials.....You can't believe a word they say.
Men are like.......Department Stores.....Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
Men are like.......Popcorn.....They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

 

"It's not you...it's me"......It really IS you but the next chick is waiting in car..so I need to hurry this up.

 

"Drug and Disease Free.." ......The Health Dept said I only had to wait 7 days...It's been 71/2....