Crazy & Weird SEX

Discussion in 'Dennis Hof and Madam Suzette' started by Dennis Hof, Dec 19, 2010.

  1. I love this stuff

    <a class="postlink" href="" onclick=";return false;"> ... y-farm.htm</a>
  2. oedipus
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    oedipus Active Member

    With 10 posts for this thread I would say you do, Mr Hof :D
  3. Ms Jill
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    Ms Jill Active Member

    See, technology isn't all bad. :wink:
  4. The 9 Craziest Sex Headlines Of 2010

    In 2009, there were a lot of random and hilarious sex accidents. But pfft, that was nuthin’! As it turns out, in 2010, people didn’t get less freaky deaky. In fact, the headlines got even more out of control. So, if you thought you had a whack year, keep reading ...

    1.A man chopped off his own wang with a knife. Why? Well, after spending five years in a prison in Spain for a violent crime, he wanted to avoid being deported back to his homeland of Kazakhastan. So, he whacked his manhood off before they could put him on a plane back home. Basically, the dude’s argument is it’s better to be a castrada than a Kazakh … or being Borat? Really?

    2.How many dudes have you watched date a girl who looks exactly like their ex? Well, you could argue that they have a type. But what if a guy takes it one step further and actually has a doll replica of his ex made for the cool cost of $18,000? Italian maker Diego Bortolin said construction of the sex doll took forever because he had to recreate all her details perfectly, down to her nails and teeth. But the buyer wanted one tiny change; apparently, the 50-year-old business man said, “I want it just like her but with bigger boobs.” Double yuck.

    3.Who knew finding the mom who gave you up for adoption could be illegal? Well, that is if you have sex with said mom. When a 54-year-old, Seattle-area woman, Kathryn Thornton, met her biological son, the two of them decided they wanted to revisit the place she last had him—her vag. He was 33, and it was a consensual relationship that lasted 18 months, but she made the first move by lying in bed next to him. Anyway, now she’s facing a year in jail for incest and having to register as a sex offender. But her son got off scot-free, well, except for all that emotional trauma …

    4.While you might wish that sometimes you couldn’t see whom you were having sex with, one man had to seek medical attention because he literally goes temporarily blind every time he orgasms. Luckily, doctors were able to solve his problem after discovering it was related to blood flow. But seriously, high-five to the ladies who made the dude blind from sexy times! [Note: It’s still 2010, people. I’m letting Simcha’s favorite phrase slide until the new year.—Editor] That’s def bragging rights ...

    5.The Berns Hotel in Stockholm is providing all kind of amenities for guests, especially of the kinky kind. Next to the Bible in the bedside drawer are some sex toys, keeper uppers, and handcuffs. The local police are none to happy about this because they feel the hotel encourages the sex trade. But, what about the cleanliness issue? I mean, I don’t even want to touch the remote in a hotel now!

    6.This year, Pleasures of Alabama became the first adult toy store drive-thru in the world. Using an old Wells Fargo bank building in Huntsville, the sex shop owner plans to cash in by selling whips, lubes, and vibes through the chutes in discreet paper bags. Heck, those toys may get a better ride out of the store than they will in the bedroom!

    7.A 21-year-old UK man with learning disabilities is using government welfare to get himself laid. After taking a couple sexual health courses, he’s applying his discretionary funds to fly to Amsterdam to do it with a prostitute and lose his virginity, finally. His social worker completely supports his plan, saying, ““Refusing to offer him this service would be a violation of his human rights…. We can’t place restrictions on a young man who wants to experience the world.” That’s right—go get yours! Also, anyone else think this would make a great premise for a coming-of-age movie?

    8.Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi has made a lot of headlines with his penis, and one extra one for Mars’ poker. The head of state ordered $95,0000 restoration of the broken-off peen on a Roman marble statue of Mars. But, much like his personal life, the politician did it wrong. He ignored traditional restoration techniques and the statue is not even his! It was was on loan from the Terme di Diocleziano Museum to be displayed in the official entrance of Berlusconi’s Palazzo Chigi. Luckily, the part is removable.

    9.If you thought the sex toy hotel was pervy, you ain’t heard nothin’ yet! At the Markumm Inn in Eugene, the hotelier and his wife like to get naughty with guests and employees. Guess Ward and Julie Frederick wanted to be The Hedonism resort of Oregon … except without the consensual part. Or as the employee filing a lawsuit recounts, the Fredericks “began asking the guests and employees to guess the measurements of Mr. Frederick’s penis and asked employees to rub lotion on Mr. Frederick. Mr. Frederick then began masturbating in front of the guests and employees so the measurements of his erect penis could be taken, and so others could play a ring toss game on his penis.” OMG. Way to ruin a fun game like ring toss, buddy.
  5. This is a perfect example of what sexual repression does to people. Jeez.
  6. wow...very interesting
  7. :lol: Yep!! :lol:

  8. Old story but amusing nonetheless:

    <a class="postlink" href="" onclick=";return false;"></a>

    As Dave Chappelle would similarly say, "Fuck yo' table!"
  9. LMAO!!! Thats weird for sure..what about splinters?!! :shock: ouch!!
  10. What ever happened to the idea of remote controlled (via web) sex machines at the ranch?
  11. Not sure..thats a question for Mr Hof...besides we maybe to busy doin the 'real' thing baby :wink: [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

  12. Ain't button like the real thing baby but would o [smilie=hi ya!.gif] be nice to reach out touch u wh en I'm not there.
  13. I think most of us have webcams :)

  14. IS THIS CRAZY OR WHAT ??! [smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]
  15. Not crazy..just SEXY!!!!!!!!!!! [smilie=hot over you.gif] [smilie=hot over you.gif] [smilie=hot over you.gif]
  16. This is why more people should come visit us at the ranch.
    We could seriously help relieve some tensions.

    Always Willing,
  17. Absolutely :p

  18. Here is a crazy story that I had to share :?

    Man Has Sex With A Hornets’ Nest And Dies

    People who are terrified of bees, or the thought of human beings having sexual intercourse with bees, or the thought of dying, please be forewarned that you may find what I am about to tell you highly disturbing. A 35-year-old Swedish man known as “Hasse” was found dead outside of his farm this week in Ystad after having sex with a hornets’ nest. Let that sink in for a moment. Sex with bees. SOMEONE WANTED TO FUCK A SWARM OF HORNETS.

    Hasse’s bloated corpse had a total of 146 wasp stings, including 54 on his penis and balls. At this point you might be thinking to yourself, OK. So this guy got stung to death. That’s awful. It happened Macaulay Culkin in “My Girl” and I bawled my face off. But how did they know Hasse died specifically from having sex with a hornets’ nest? Oh, because they found Hasse’s semen on some of the dead wasps and his pubic hair in their nest.

    I’m sure you can’t imagine this story getting worse, but, oh, it does. Animal rights activists are more torn up about the death of wasps than they are about Hasse’s passing. A poem, which received 10,000 likes on Facebook, was written to memorialize the dead bees:

    “A little black, a little yellow, beaten in confusion. Hums no more for not wearing wings. Life no longer offered and the Queen sees soldier crawling on the ground in despair. Death is a fact. Oh, where did the summer road, buddy? All our tours and adventures. Floating in sweat, grains, blood and tears. Do not leave me, baby. A little black, a little yellow, all innocent. Buzz, buzz, buzz, knocking on heaven’s door.”

    And who will write a poem in honor of Hasse, I ask? He was merely a man who fucked the wrong hornets’ nest and paid with his life. Buzz, buzz, buzz, old buddy.
  19. That is a little disturbing!!! A Hornet's nest!!! Really!!!

  20. Unbelievable.
  21. Isn't that crazy!? :shock:

  22. VERY
  23. willowlove
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    willowlove Well-Known Member

    Well I guess that's one way to get a hummer! :mrgreen:
  24. Bahaha willow! That was bad! Lmao!
  25. pantera
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    pantera Well-Known Member

    OMG! What the heck?? This is insane!
  26. Serves his dumb ass right

  27. OMG!!!! I hope these guys rott away in jail. Believe me, they will get whats coming to them in jail. That's one thing that prisoners will not put up with is messing with children!!! And sex with your cow????? All I can say about that is WTF?!?!?!?! That poor cow and horse


    [smilie=call me.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]
  28. Haha! I mean... Who does that!?
  29. I once got stung by a wasp during a bondage shoot! It was terrifying because I couldn't escape (obviously!)
  30. O god! That's awful!
  31. willowlove
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    willowlove Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure if that was even a turn off for you ;)
    [smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]
  32. That is so crazy!

  33. Hi ella its Daddy, love your signature
  34. good i need to run 24 miles today

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