I know what you’re thinking. Another review of Anna Suvari. Many here have taken pains to describe her beauty, charm, skills and spirit. And I’m going to try again, fool that I am. My first time with Anna was in November, and I just got back from my second trip. My double dip. I had to do some more research. Find more ways to sing her praises. Come up with a few new fitting phrases. It was Valentine’s Day (sweet!), and she played the Saint. Twice. But also vixen. Pixie. Fresh, frisky filly. Mad cool muse. Lickety long fuse. She was my Gypsy Queen. My Valenteen. Therapist. Caretaker. Very personal trainer. Lady Cab Driver. Health care provider. My go-to gal. Anna is one boss chick. When wicked weather canceled my flight and appointment on the 13th, I was worrisome. But she wrote with a wink: “just get here, and I’ll take care of the rest.” A joy, a comfort, and a kick in the pants. Such are the combined charms of the “amazing,” “astonishing,” and “elegant” Anna Suvari, Gem of the Desert. She’ll make you want to learn Spanish -- and she’s Swedish. She’ll make you fly First Class. So I came the next day. Twice. With my frenulum dancer. Buck naked prancer. Warm, white molasses mixer. And into the bargain, a panty purveyor. Yeah, got my paws on her knickers, all-in-a-twister. Making me all a-twitter. She shimmied out of her Frederick’s of Hollywood greeting card and became my Agent Provocateur, slipping perfectly into an outrageously yummy black-and-plum number I bought her. Shazam! She was stunning. (Take 2 was more mundane; for me, nothing spells “GFE” like a t-shirt and a pair of Hanes Her Way®. I brought them with me, too, then I took ‘em back. I did it My Way. The Milky Way.) In short, a good sport. For sure: she was My Funky Valentine. For a limited time. There; 21 new ways to describe Anna Suvari. You should come up with some, too. Let fantasy fly in the face of reality. Let this be your last lurk. Quit these vicarious thrills. Get in touch with her already, or one of the other beautiful, bountiful bunnies. But Anna’ll be back soon, amidst the seeping moistures of early Spring -- when a man’s love turns to dirty thoughts (and if they don’t, she’ll turn ‘em for ya). Anna Suvari is a one-woman wave of feminism, and a wonderful one, at that. Go git ‘er!
Very lyrical...just like Ms. Suvari herself :wink: Nick In T.O. Charter member of the Anna Suvari fan club \/
Thanks, chums. Here we are, three charter members. I feel like I should collect dues before the meeting. Maggman, your imminent visit is agenda item #3 (after the invocation and the hymn). But I’ll just wait a bit ... more should be along in a minute ... in the meantime, I’ll share a couple more ways (you’ll note, I counted the ways) that didn’t make it into the final: “Syrupy surrogate” (just seemed a little creepy) and “our new Seattle Slew” (brilliant, but probably dated). Oh, wait, here comes someone ...
Hey Santa! Thanks for writing me a review! I love it! You have such a fun way with words. Can't wait 'til next time!
You’re welcome, darlin’ .... but the pleasure was all mine. I dunno, I guess you just .... bring it out of me. There’s more of my “fun way with words” and you, now in the General Forum (“Seattle Slew: Champion Racehorse or Courtesan?”). You should get a laugh out of it. Do horses giggle?
i hope you are a writer, secret santa. if not you should be. i might be able to help you find a publisher. maybe your first project can be a tribute to anna, a best seller. /bryce
Oh, I got 'em, Dagrech. But I'm saving them for the book Bryce is going to hook up for me. He's, like, the 10th person from left field in two years to say I should be a writer, and it would just be so like me to finally take the suggestion seriously from Dennis Hof's World Famous Moonlite Bunny Ranch On-line General Forum for Bunnybabes.
'my funky valentine for a limited time' and 'warm white molasses mixer' - nice turn of phrase SecretSanta. i will add my props to the others who like your writing. it's different and i mean that in a good way.
SS, you definitely have a way with words. Quite poetic and descriptive. I especially liked "buck naked prancer" and "panty purveyor".
Wow, look at this thread, all bumped up, almost three years later. What mammaries! And now I’m going to come [ahem] forth with another piece from the cutting-room-floor. Near the end of the original post, after where it says, “A good sport.” for a while I had also added “A good spurt.” It was good, but in the end I took it out, thinking it was -- not too tawdry, perhaps -- just a touch too literal. Now it can be told, like in the “making-of” DVD feature. Another fun fact: weeks later, it was revealed that a certain Governing, infamous “Client #9” had his fateful, illegal appointment in Washington the very same day of my appointment -- under the good graces of the Nevada State Legislature, and my syrupy surrogate, our new Seattle Slew, Anna Suvari. (Just saw her again in November, luscious as ever.) I second the motion for pics of her in the black ‘n’ plum number .......
