I love them and I love blondes, got any new ones? A blonde bought an a.m. radio and it took her a month to find out she could listen to it at night.
hahaha! thats funny... Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles. Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? A: "Have another beer."
Here are a couple of new ones I heard recently: Q: Why do blondes wear ponytails? A: To hide the valve stem Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel
Q. Did you hear about the funny blonde who tried to blow up her husband's car? A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe. Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex? A. Locking the car door. Q. Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A. Because she blows the horn! Q. Why is a blonde like railroad tracks? A. Because she's been laid all over the country. Q. Why is 68 the maximum speed for blonds? A. Because at 69 they blow a rod... A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
THANKS JOHN AND MELANIE!!!! i hadn't heard some of those yet the cornflakes one is my favorite!!!!!!!!
I urgently needed a few days off work but I knew the boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'crazy', then he would tell me to take a few days off. So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb, so the Boss might think I was 'crazy' and give me a few days off. A few minutes later, the boss came into the office and asked, 'What in the name of Sam Hill are you doing?' I told him I was a light bulb. He said, 'You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.' I jumped down and walked out of the office... When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the boss asked her, 'And where do you think you're going?!' To which she replied: 'I'm going home too. I can't work in the dark.' Loves from a Smart Blonde...................)
We went to the movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. “Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.” By the time she got to me I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?” “No!!” she said in a loud whisper, ” The “TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE” message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.” Chili
I heard this one at one of our local poolrooms the other day. Hope you all like this particular pearl of wisdom: One day a blonde goes into a nearby electronics store and asks a sales representative if she can buy the television in the corner. The sales representative looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing. Again, the sales representative reiterates to her that he doesn't serve blondes. Feeling frustrated at this point, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red. Feeling certain that a sales associate would sell her the TV this time, she returns the next day and asks a different employee this time if she can buy the TV. To her astonishment, this representative also says that he doesn't serve blondes. The blonde asks the representative, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?" The associate looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"
