Sexual Destiny vs Sexual Growth

Posted by admin on August 8, 2022

Sexual Destiny vs. Sexual Growth: The Philosophy of Sex and How It Can Help You

Sex is awesome – it physically makes us feel good (obviously). But for many, sex creates a deep connection on a mental, emotional, and often spiritual level. Sex can bring people closer together and create feelings never before experienced. It can enhance our minds, bodies, and souls to a plane of existence never before realized. As creatures who always thirst for knowledge, it’s no surprise that people want to learn how to take those feelings and enhance them, making the experience better for their partners and themselves.

This is where sex becomes more philosophical; what exactly do we want to achieve in our sexual lives? With this comes two popular schools of thought: sexual destiny, and sexual growth. Read on to learn the differences between the two, some examples of each, and how they can help you achieve a level of intimacy you may have never felt before.

What is sexual destiny?

What is the concept of soulmates? It’s the idea that somewhere out in this big wide world, there is one person who has been made for you to meet and spend the rest of your life with. It’s the idea that there is someone who will connect with you on all levels you need and is ideally the perfect match for you.

Now – take this concept and apply it to sex, and you have sexual destiny. There is someone who will match and complement your sexual satisfaction. It heavily implies that that same soulmate described above will present you with your sexual destiny.

People who believe in the philosophy of sexual destiny tend to use it as a barometer for judging whether their relationship is healthy or not. While a good sexual relationship is important, this way of thinking could be detrimental. Say you found someone who you connect with deeply and who “ticks all the boxes” per-say, yet your time in the bedroom isn’t mind-blowingly amazing. If you believed in sexual destiny, you would use this opinion as a reason to break up, even though you two have an otherwise strong and healthy relationship.

Sexual destiny does not really allow room for the idea of improvement; it’s your destiny to be with an awesome sex partner. If they don’t fit the bill, they’re out – end of discussion.

What is sexual growth?

Sexual growth, on the other hand, is more forgiving. Sexual growth allows room for improvement and heavily favors communication between two partners when it comes to satisfaction. Let’s take that same scenario from above; rather than breaking up, if you believed in sexual growth, you would sit down with your partner and talk to them about how you feel your sexual lives could improve, and you would offer each other tips on how to truly make the other feel good. There would be no fear of confrontation and no judgement.

You two would also realize that even if the sex doesn’t improve as quickly as you’d like, it’s not a deal-breaker. You don’t let whatever issues in the bedroom affect other aspects of your relationship outside of it.

Sexual growth is a much healthier philosophy than its overly starry-eyed counterpart. Studies have shown that couples who think more in the sexual growth realm have stronger romantic gains in romantic satisfaction than those who let sex dictate the rest of their feelings in the relationship.

How to Harness the Philosophy of Sexual Growth

So, how can we improve our mindset to be more geared towards sexual growth?

Firstly, you will want to come to terms and peace with the fact that sexual growth is about the journey – not the destination. This is a time when you want to become introspective; really look inside yourself and be humble about how you perform in the bedroom. Be kind to yourself as you admit you may have some things to work on. By being able to admit your own faults, you’re maturing to the idea that your experience and technique has room to grow – and growth is exactly what you want!

If you are stubborn about this, you’re essentially putting up a wall or a finish line; when you get there, you’re basically admitting, “Well, my sex can’t get any better than this.”

Why would you want to set limits for yourself? Sex is all about exploring hidden needs, desires, and sensations – by cutting yourself off too soon, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

Once you have made peace with yourself, your technique, and your performance, it’s now time to examine how it can improve. You’ll want to really explore and determine your emotional needs and your motivations for sex. What drives you to have sex with someone? What type of satisfaction are you looking for, besides physical? By answering these questions, you’re allowing yourself to find a sexual partner who is more compatible from the beginning and who is also willing to grow along with you.

Don’t think you have to have these conversations alone. While self-reflection is very important for mental health, it’s also a good idea to talk about these topics with your partner. Perhaps they also want to go through a journey of sexual growth. By doing this together, you’re giving yourselves something else to bond over, along with a common goal.

While exploring this with your partner, this is also the perfect time for you two to discuss what specifically turns you on. Why does it turn you on? Why does it turn you on with this specific person? Have you been turned on by these things before? Why is it different now? Sexual growth is all about asking questions – no question is off limits, and there is no such thing as too many.

It can be intimidating to admit that your sex life needs room to grow, but if you and your partner are open to taking the journey, it can bring feelings never felt before, and hell – it can even be fun! You two are on completely even playing grounds with no judgement and no limits.

Have you ever had a “sexual destiny” mindset? Have you tried talking about the idea of “sexual growth” with you partner? I would love to hear your experiences – tell me about them in the comments!

Wouldn’t you like to know if you are operating in “sexual destiny” or sexual growth mode?

Are you interested in sexual growth?  Email me to start planning your journey to sexual growth with me at the Bunnyranch.  [email protected]

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