Sound extreme? Well, at least you have the option. It's not like your livelihood depends on engaging in sexual relations with all and sundry. Sure, you might think you're Buffy the Man Eater or Tim Meadows� the "Ladies Man" on "Saturday Night Live." But let's cut the crap, folks. Most of us are more Woody Allen than Wilt Chamberlain, more Margaret Cho than Angelina Jolie. Unless you luck out like Darva Conger, queen of the homely homebodies, no one's going to pay your sorry ass to get naked for Playboy, much less to have sex on demand.

But for America's sex workers, having sex on demand pays the light bill, the car note and the monthly rent. Whether they work in the adult-entertainment industry, churning out sex tapes for you to watch while smearing your fat bod with baby oil, or do you the ultimate favor of enabling you to reach what the late Madeline Kahn called the "sweet mystery of life," they risk infection with HIV and any number of other lesser diseases. Just like everyone else, they take pride in their jobs. But unfortunately, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration doesn't monitor their work environments. Sex workers are the ultimate independent contractors. In the final analysis, they're the ones responsible for taking the precautions that may save their lives, and yours.

Just what are those precautions? What is safe sex for them? That depends on the type of sex worker involved.

Take Patrick, 25, for example, a gay call boy in San Francisco who advertises his services over the Internet. Patrick (who asked that his real name not be used) explained that he always uses condoms for anal intercourse, will not do drugs with clients and excludes the possibility of "barebacking," a term he defined as any unprotected anal sex. He does engage in water sports, but he refuses to "drink pee," though he said that was more a matter of personal preference. He requires the use of gloves for anal fingering, and he will not "lick ass." That said, his one departure from his "safer sex" regimen is that he does not use condoms for oral sex.

"I've sucked hundreds and hundreds of uncovered dicks, and I'm HIV negative and never got an STD [sexually transmitted disease] from a client," he said. "It's a risk assessment. I've found that most men don't use them, and I don't unless the client requests it."

Patrick pooh-poohed the possibility of being exposed to something via unprotected oral sex, stating that giving head is a relatively low-risk activity and that in any case most of his clients are "pretty low-risk folks.

"I think there's an effort to scare people [about unprotected oral sex], instead of giving them good, honest information so they can make decisions as adults," he said.

He also cautioned me against drawing too many conclusions based on his activities. "I know some guys who use condoms for oral sex. But an important point for you to keep in mind is that talking to a couple of sex workers doesn't mean you've taken the temperature of the entire community. There are as many approaches to this as there are sex workers."

Private Life Romance, relationships, and the personal side of Table Talk