MIRACLE ON 56TH STREET

Howard began his final broadcast reporting that it was warm in New York and that the rain was supposed to taper off within a few hours. Howard then got Gary, who was on the street, on the line. Gary informed Howard that the scene outside the building was already getting wild and that the rain apparently hadn't stopped anyone from coming down. Howard responded that he woke up at 1 a.m. and immediately thought the plans for the morning would be ruined because of the snow and rain that was coming down at the time. Howard went on to say, though, that he was thrilled as he was getting ready for the show that the weather conditions had improved drastically. Howard added that he read his speech last night to Beth and that, although it was a bit long according to his standards, he felt like it conveyed what he wanted to say to his fans.

COME HELL OR HIGH WATER

Gary mentioned that the mob of people was beginning to act crazy, noting that some were trying to push over the barricades as he spoke. Gary also said that the first person he noticed in the crowd was a woman who, once she saw him, opened up her trench coat to reveal writing on her naked body that wished Howard luck on SIRIUS. Gary went on to report that other signs in the crowd read "Stern is God," "Hey Now," "Proper Modulation" and "Fire!"

The last sign led Howard to point out that Artie hadn't made it into the studio yet, because he was stuck in a flood. However, as Gary was talking to the naked woman, Artie arrived outside the studio and, through Gary's mic, told Howard that the parade outside was "going to be nuts." Gary then did a live interview with New York's NBC affiliate, which Howard also aired. During the interview, Gary told the reporter that he was amazed at the size of the crowd that came out to demonstrate their support for the show.

NEVER A DRY MOMENT

When Artie got up to the studio, he announced that he could tell people in the crowd were drunk, so everyone from the show should follow their lead. Howard brought up that Sam Simon sent him a gift basket of booze yesterday, but that he forgot to bring it with him this morning. Howard then mentioned that Sam was in the green room and that he heard David Spade and Chris Rock were also planning on making appearances. When Robin pointed out that Richard was supposed to have made a run for alcohol before they went on the air, he came into the studio and said he had done just that and that he had champagne, beer, vodka and Yeager to offer.

As the alcohol situation was being organized, Doug Goodstein, the executive producer for iNDEMAND, reported from the street that his camera people were filming the crowds for a future special on Howard's channel and that he was currently standing with Gary the Retard, Jim Florentine, Lonnie from Scores, Elephant Boy and Melrose Larry Green. Doug added that the size of the crowd illustrated just how much Howard is loved by people. Doug even went as far as saying that the rain was nothing more than the sky shedding tears of joy for Howard's move to SIRIUS.

ZERO HOUR: 9 A.M.

Vinnie Favale called in and said that he was just getting on the bus to come join the festivities. Vinnie also said that he appreciated Howard the most on mornings like today when the weather was bad because he made leaving the house more bearable. Because there was some confusion as to when Yahoo! was going to begin its coverage of the Howard's farewell, Gary reported that the camera people from the Web site would be filming all morning, but that the feed wouldn't begin until 9 a.m. Robin pointed out that start time didn't make sense to her seeing as that was around the time everyone from the show would be making his or her speech, which led Howard to guess that images from earlier in the morning would probably be cut in as visuals during their addresses.

IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE DECEMBER

Howard got Jason, who took over on the street for Gary, on the line and asked him what it was like outside. After letting Hooknose Mike and Double A say hello, Jason replied that it was so warm he needed to take off his coat. After he heard the news, Artie commented that he was sure the crowds would appreciate watching Jason disrobe.

BLACK FOR MORE

King of All Blacks got on the line and said that the people on the streets were going nuts. King added that he ran into Angry Black earlier in the morning and that he was not only wearing a $50 pair of Timberlands, but also had on a hockey jersey with his name on the back. King went on to say that he was sure Angry never played hockey in his life and that he'd love the chance to compare the clothes he had on to those Angry was wearing.

DISHEVELED BUT ON TIME

Artie announced that he wanted to start drinking, but that he needed to brush his teeth before he could do so. Howard pointed out that Artie had been arriving at the studio later than usual the past few weeks and that he needed to wash up each morning in the studio's bathroom because of it. Artie responded that, since he knew the show was coming to an end, he had developed a case of "senioritis" recently. Given this, Artie mentioned that he's been sleeping as long as he can while still being on time for the show, but that such a routine doesn't allow for much at-home hygiene.

SACRIFICES FOR SLEEP

Howard mentioned that he was nervous when he woke up at 1 a.m. because it was sleeting outside. Robin commented that when she went to bed, she couldn't help but think the worst as well, because she could hear the ice hitting her house. Howard went on to say that, because he wanted to get more sleep, he ended up taking an Ambien at 2:30 a.m., which he said knocked him out until 4:30 a.m. Robin pointed out that Howard needed to be careful taking Ambien if he wasn't going to get at least six hours of sleep afterward, adding that Mr. X appeared to be drunk when he once did the same thing. Gary agreed with Robin and said that when he doesn't get enough sleep after taking Ambien, he inevitably gets bad headaches.

A WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE

Former Penthouse Pet Amy Lynn came into the studio for the first time since the late 1990s. Amy reported that she currently lives in Florida with her 13-year-old daughter and that she quit her career in the adult world years ago. Amy went on to say that she now works as a real estate agent.

When Amy revealed that she's 38, Howard commented that she looked 10 years younger than that. Robin reminded Howard that Amy was the first stripper to come on the show whose mother supported her line of work, adding that she used to take pictures of her daughter when she stripped at clubs. Howard also pointed out that Amy was the woman who appears on the back of his "Private Parts" book, while Gary mentioned that, while he was packing, he came across a nude picture Amy had taken and signed for him. Before she left, Amy thanked Howard for helping her become successful in the adult world years ago.

NOT LOOKING FOR A FIGHT

After Jason spoke to a few more fans on the street, Ralph came into the studio and told Howard that there was a drizzle outside, but that the temperature was more than comfortable. Since Ralph was in the studio, Gary brought up that last night's "Super Fan Roundtable" was the best one he'd ever heard, because of the way Ralph was making fun of Steve Grillo on the show. Gary explained that Steve sounded like he was drunk and Ralph made fun of him the entire time. Ralph added that another panelist, KC Armstrong, showed up late and only got to be on the air for the last part of the broadcast.

Steve came in and acknowledged that he had been drinking the previous night and was therefore feeling some of the effects during "The Super Fan Roundtable." Steve went on to say that, although he liked hearing Jackie's return on the show yesterday, he didn't think he sounded like the Jackie of old. Gary then told Howard that some people have been complaining that Howard let Jackie off too easily during their talk and that he didn't ask him enough questions about why he left. Howard responded that he never planned on being confrontational with Jackie, while Robin noted that the show wasn't a prison and people can leave as they please.

DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT YA'

Gary announced that it really hit him when he saw this morning that Fred had gathered all of his musical instruments and put them in a pile to take home. Fred mentioned that Artie had asked him to go to lunch yesterday to celebrate with other people from the show, but that he couldn't because he needed to pack some of his belongings. Howard then brought up the fact that they have to remove all of their possessions from the studio by tomorrow, because renovations are starting on Sunday.

FRIENDS AND STRIPPERS AND WHORES, OH MY!

Howard welcomed some people into the studio for their final goodbyes. The first person Howard addressed was Paul Turner, who has been the voice of the show for years and who was lined up to announce the speakers later in the broadcast. Paul revealed that he recently got divorced and was thus hoping to meet some women at the festivities. Howard responded that Paul was in luck and proceeded to bring in women from both Scores and The Bunny Ranch. Howard was surprised that one of his favorite Scores girls Danielle -“ better known as the "Vodka, straight up! Thank you!" girl -“ hadn't been drinking this morning. When Danielle told Howard that no one had offered her anything to drink, Artie distributed some of his liquor to the women. Before they started drinking it, however, the Bunny Ranch girls questioned the Scores girls' ability to hold down their alcohol and wanted to have a drinking contest. The Scores girls, of course, accepted the challenge.

Howard then spoke to his former NBC colleague Al Rosenberg and Stan Dworkin, who ran for lieutenant governor in New York in 1994. Howard also said goodbye to Sam Simon, as well as Dr. Sal Calabro, who noted that he has given breast implants to close to 100 women as prizes on the show. Howard then allowed King of All Blacks and Angry Black to have an exchange about their wardrobes. King began his tirade by accusing Angry of wearing Timberlands that cost only $60, which, he noted, wasn't a great deal of money compared to the $150 he spent on his pair. King went on to say that the amount of money people spend on their clothing and shoes is important, because, as he put it, "life is all about material possessions."

PAYING HOMAGE TO HANK

Howard played Richard's favorite moment from the show, which was when Hank the Angry Dwarf made his first appearance. In the clip, Hank explained to Howard that he started drinking at the age of 8 when his grandfather turned him on liquor. Hank also read a list of insults he had prepared about Jewish people, politicians, dwarves, Italians, the Irish and the English.

When the tape was done, Howard acknowledged how much he missed Hank. Robin then proceeded to open her bottle of champagne in Hank's honor and she and Artie, who was drinking Jack Daniels, made a toast to his memory.

THE FIRST TASTE OF ACCEPTANCE

Howard announced that the purpose of today's show was not just to say goodbye, but also to mark a new beginning. Howard explained that the thought of having a smaller audience when he moves to SIRIUS is exciting to him, mainly because he feels it will allow him to "fly under the radar" and try new things. Robin then reminded Howard that they enjoyed the same luxury when they first began their careers, adding that those were some of her best memories of the show. Robin also pointed out that, for the first time in their careers, everyone for whom they'll be working will be supportive of the show, which will be a foreign feeling for her.

TAKING IT IN FOR THE LAST TIME

Because it was time to get ready for the speeches, Gary said that he had to go to the street for good, but that he first wanted to say goodbye to the studio. To help Gary remember how emotional he was feeling at the moment, Fred played a montage of Baba Booey songs. Gary responded to the gesture that Fred just couldn't let him leave with any pride.

MORE THAN HE CAN HANDLE

Richard came into the studio to say what an honor it was to be a part of the final show. Richard went on to note how incredible it was to him that, just a few years ago, he was a listener and this morning he got to actually take part in the final broadcast.

Before he left, Richard poured himself some vodka and announced he was going to do a shot as a toast to the show. Robin and Artie joined Richard, who began gagging after the drink. When Howard asked what was wrong with him, Richard replied that he had never drunk a shot as big as the one he had just swallowed. Robin then pointed out that she asked specifically asked Richard to get her champagne when he made his booze run this morning and that he came back with a bottle of Great Western. Howard told Robin that was the best she should expect when she sends a hillbilly out to get her champagne.

THERE'S NOTHING LIKE FAMILY

As the show came back from break, Howard played Joe Walsh's in-studio version of "Desperado." Robin noted that the aspect of the song she enjoyed the most this morning was watching Artie lip-sync the lyrics. Howard went on to comment that the song was taking on a more personal meaning for him today because it was playing while members of his family were sitting on the couch to say goodbye. Howard first thanked his parents, Ben and Ray, for always having watched over him, before adding that his sister Ellen was making her debut in the studio. Howard recalled that whenever he invited Ellen to make an appearance in the past, she always responded by asking him if she'd have to take off her top if she did.

Howard proceeded to introduce his niece Pam and her husband Jeff, as well as his oldest daughter Emily and her boyfriend Alex. Howard recalled that, when he got fired from NBC in the 1980s, "The New York Post" ran on its front page a picture of him holding Emily shortly after she was born and that the photograph made it look like they were living on the streets together. Emily assured Howard that she loves him and that she's proud of what he's accomplished.

Pam told Howard that he was a great uncle to her, which led Howard to remember how he tried to get his first job in radio near Ellen and Pam in Camp Hill, Pennsylvania, but was turned down by the owner of the station on the spot. Ben then admitted that he was getting choked up on the way to the studio, while Ray noted that the entire event was bittersweet to her. Artie added that he, too, was getting emotional because he was thinking about his dad, the man who he said originally turned him onto the show 20 years ago and who has since passed away.

LET THE SPEECHES BEGIN

Howard announced that the speeches on the street began when they were in a break, so he would play both taped addresses as well as live ones during his remaining time on the air. Dee, the woman who called in earlier this week sobbing because the show was ending, was the first speaker Howard listened to. In the portion of the speech that Howard played, Dee, who was bawling, was commenting that she was a good person and therefore couldn't believe she was in a crowd made up of racists and strippers. Sal then reported in from the street to tell Howard that several of the barricades had been broken down by fans and that police officers were working frantically to fix them. Sal added that there were so many people on the street that he felt like he was a part of The Million Man March, except with white people.

After hearing from Sal, Howard played a clip of the morning's first speeches, which were given by Elephant Boy and Cliff Palette. In his address, Elephant Boy compared Howard to Martin Luther King, quoting his "free at last" line, while, according to Robin's ears, Cliff closed his speech with, "For those who want to rock, we salute you. Fire!" Howard then pointed out that he didn't think Scott the Engineer had set up the outside microphones properly, because, even though there were thousands of people on the street, on the radio it sounded like there was no one out there.

Howard then got back to the live feed of the event just in time to hear Beetlejuice talk to the crowd. Beet began his speech by saying, "Howard's a great man and I love it," before launching into a string of "yeahs" and "what's up, fellas?" While Beetle was interacting with the audience, Howard pointed out that he was supposed to be introducing Staind, who was set to perform their version of "The Beetlejuice Song."

As members of Staind were tuning their instruments, Howard played a portion of Miss Howard Stern's speech, which was interrupted on the tape by Sal yelling for Jason over her words. This led Howard to comment that, even during the show's grand finale, they still weren't very organized. Jeff the Drunk was the next speaker Howard played. In his talk, Jeff commented that, besides his father, Howard is the only man he's ever loved. Jeff went on to say that Howard is the king of his universe, which was a label Howard admitted he wasn't sure he wanted.

Will then informed Howard that he had just looked out the window to size up the crowd and that it extended as far as he could see. Tom added that the number of people who were outside was unbelievable and was unlike anything he had ever witnessed before.

LAWYERS, PORN STARS AND CASH

Dominic Barbara and his girlfriend Diane stopped in to congratulate Howard. Dominic mentioned that he was sad being in the studio for the final time and went on to thank Howard for letting him visit this morning. Porn star "Courtney Cums" then entered the studio and reminded Howard that she volunteered to go on "a date" with someone from the crowd. Howard responded by telling Will to get the word out to Gary that he needed to find someone for Courtney, as well as to hand out a total of $10,000 in prize money to 10 people in attendance.

APPRECIATION FOR TABITHA

Following Staind's performance of "The Beetlejuice Song," Beth O. came into the studio to check up on Howard and to tell him that it was surprisingly warm outside. Beth went on to note that she heard Tabitha Stevens' sit-down with Dr. Ellen McGrath on last night's "Meet the Shrink," and that it was extremely revealing. Tabitha then popped in and acknowledged that the session with Dr. McGrath was helpful, because it allowed her to talk to a professional about issues like her relationship with her family as well as her obsession with plastic surgery. After she talked about her experience on "Meet the Shrink," Howard thanked Tabitha for all the appearances she made on the show and led a round of applause for the role she played.

OUT OF THIS WORLD

When Howard announced that Riley Martin was set to make his speech, Robin admitted that she was so tipsy she might have succumbed to Riley's sexual advances had he been in the studio. During his address, Riley noted that while Howard started his career terrestrially, he has since gone "extra terrestrial," explaining that the inhabitants of both Saturn and "the mother ship" are big fans. Following Riley's speech, Robin pointed out she had just looked out at the crowd from the window and that its size was "amazing."

LOVE CONQUERS ALL

After taking a call from Sour Shoes and listening to some of High Pitch Eric's speech -“ which included impressions of both Kelly Clarkson and his dog Sadie -“ Will told Howard that Gary had handed out the prize money and that he had a potential "date" for Courtney. The man who Gary picked out, Dallas, admitted that he wasn't sure why he was chosen, but went on to say that he was more than interested in spending some time with Courtney. After Courtney gave her seal of approval for Dallas, Howard commented that he enjoyed being able to bring romance to people on the show.

A WHO'S WHO OF WACK PACKERS

Howard cut back out to the speeches just in time to hear the end of Daniel Carver's rant, which elicited boos from the crowd for its hateful content. King of All Blacks then took the stage, pointing out that the only true statement that Daniel made during his address was that he is, in fact, "a savage." Gary the Retard and Wendy the Retard then each said a few appreciative words to Howard, who noted that Gary was yelling during Wendy's speech because the crowed was loudly chanting "retarded flu."

ROBOTS DON'T CRY

Following a clip of John the Stutterer's speech, Howard proceeded to play Tom's address. In his talk, Tom admitted that he was feeling not only pride toward the show, but also a sense of sadness because it was coming to an end. As Tom wrapped up his time commenting on how much the show has meant to him, the crowd began chanting, "Give Howard his tapes." Ralph then came back into the studio and told Howard that the radio broadcast wasn't doing justice to how many people were in the streets. Ralph also reported that the rain had stopped and that the sun was even beginning to come out. Before getting to more speeches, Howard took a call from Congressman Gary Ackerman, who Robin noted was one of the few politicians who argued for free speech on Capital Hill.

ANYTHING FOR A PLUG

When Scott the Engineer addressed the crowd, Howard pointed out that he didn't know why he hired him seeing as the microphones in the crowd weren't working. After Benjy made his speech, which, he claimed to have stolen from Hitler, Howard had some more people into the studio. Vinnie Favale was the first one to say goodbye and he informed Howard that listening to the show has made his fans "smarter, funnier and cooler." Jim Florentine then commented that Howard helped his career a great deal, especially because he was an obscure comic when he first started appearing on the show. Howard responded that he still considers Jim to be an obscure comic, which Jim said wasn't the case, adding that he now has his own show on the Internet.

Victoria Zdrok from "Penthouse" also stopped in. Because Victoria plugged several Web sites while she was talking, Howard demanded that she agree to play "Butt Bongo," which she did. Victoria proceeded to get completely naked and Artie, who Howard allowed to participate on his behalf, played "The Bayside Baba Booey Song" on her behind. In the middle of his solo, Artie apologized to his girlfriend Dana, who he noted was in the green room down the hall.

ARTIE GETS -˜EM GOING

When the show came back from break, Artie had just begun his speech, which he kicked off by noting that even though he's "fat, ugly, balding and drunk," thanks to his role on the show his girlfriend "has a great ass." Artie went on to say that this morning marked the end of the best show in the history of entertainment, because it was the only one that celebrated "hookers, strippers, midgets with drinking problems, retards with no teeth, crack whores and fat people with bad body order." Artie then announced that, after the festivities were over, he was taking everyone in attendance to see "Brokeback Mountain."

After Artie mentioned that he wished his father was still alive so he could hear him on the show, he encouraged everyone to not let the celebration end today and to instead join them on satellite. As Artie exited the stage to a chant of his name, Howard admitted that Artie's words gave him chills.

RADIO'S GREATEST PRODUCER BIDS FAREWELL

Gary started his address by saying that he's been producing the show for 21 years and that he loves the people with whom he works as well as the fans. Gary went on to mention that he's been called everything from "Horse-Toothed Jackass" to "Momo Monkey" to "Rara Retard" on the air and that, oddly, he takes all the names as compliments. Gary closed his address by singing "These Teeth Are My Teeth" to the tune of "This Land is Your Land." When he left the stage, Gary was treated to the crowd humming the "Star Wars Baba Booey Song" in unison.

AND THEN THERE WERE TWO

Since Fred had left to make his speech, Howard pointed out that it was just him and Robin left in the studio. Howard took the opportunity to tell Robin that she meant everything to him and that he knew that he could overcome any obstacle he ever faced as long as she was there. Howard added that no one could be more loyal than Robin, who he also said was his inspiration. Robin responded that she could tell Howard was trying to break her down, but that it wouldn't work because she was too busy focusing on the future they still have together.

THE QUIET ONE TAKES THE STAGE

Fred began his speech by commenting that, because of his role on the show, complete strangers know private aspects of his life -“ like that he's uncircumcised, had to go to the emergency room after drinking 24 shots of tequila and had an argument with his wife at The Rainbow Room -“ but that he still considers himself to be the luckiest person in the world. Fred then explained that Howard saw something in him more than 20 years ago that no one else realized he had and that Howard has since become a friend and a supporter. Fred continued by thanking Robin, who he mentioned was the only person he's ever met who could make him totally angry one minute, only to make him feel like he was the most important person in the world the next.

Fred went on to say that no one on the program works harder than Gary, who he said takes the blame for problems that he didn't cause and then fixes them, thus saving other people from getting in trouble. Fred also pointed out that Artie is the most "humble, talented and funny human being" he's ever known and that he loves working with him. Despite his kind words for everyone, when Fred brought up Benjy, all he said was, "Let's move on."

Fred finished his speech by thanking all the fans who supported the show. Fred added that it was their loyalty that made the past 20 years so worthwhile.

AND THEN THERE WAS ONE

Because Robin had left the studio to go to the street, Howard noted that he was the only person remaining in the studio. Howard once again thanked his radio audience who couldn't make it to the event and admitted that he was sad to leave. However, Howard added that it was time for him to move on and that he and his fans need to stay united so that the government doesn't win the free speech battle.

ROBIN SHOWS HER LOVE

Robin started her speech saying that, through all the turmoil the show has experienced over the years, the one constant has been the fans. Robin went on to mention that the only reason the show has lasted for 20 years is because of the people who tuned in everyday and that she appreciated each listener. Robin added that Howard wasn't kidding when he announced that today's celebration was for the fans, before mentioning that no one's supporters are better than those of the show.

Robin reported that she went to lunch yesterday with some of her coworkers and that it dawned on her while she was there just how great the people involved with the show are. Robin then said that the party will continue when they move to satellite and that she considers her job, as well as the fans, blessings. Robin closed her remarks by saying, "Let's rock the future. I love you people."

THE LAST OF A DYING BREED

When Howard got on the stage, he acknowledged that it would be impossible for him to sum up 20 years in a single speech. However, Howard did say that the most important point he wanted to get across was how much he appreciates all that his fans have done for him. Howard went on to mention that he read an article recently where he was described as "the last of a dying breed of broadcasters." Howard agreed with this assessment, explaining that, unlike most people in the broadcasting business who take the easy way out, he has refused to bow down to the government and the religious right. Howard added that now that he's had his final broadcast on regular radio, this day will go down in history because the medium will never again experience either a show like his, or the audience that supported it for two decades.

HIS FANS MEAN EVERYTHING

Howard thanked his listeners for being in his corner throughout his career and commented that, in some ways, they know him better than anyone else. Howard also said that without his audience members and the ratings they gave him, he never would've been able to stand up for free speech the way he has, because he wouldn't have had the clout to do so.

Howard then noted that as far back as he could remember, he always wanted to find people to be a part of his inner-circle and that, thanks to his listeners, he has accomplished that goal. Howard went on to comment that nothing makes him feel better than when fans call in to report how hard he made them laugh, because that is what he tries to do. Howard then mentioned that he believes one of the reasons his audience has stayed with him for 20 years is because of his willingness to say what's on his mind. Howard added that, even though they've broken every rule in radio and have already done so much, he thinks the ride is just beginning.

TO THE FUTURE AND BEYOND

After thanking everyone who has worked with him not only in radio but also in television and on his movie and book and after he dedicated the final broadcast to Sgt. Keith Manning, Howard said the people for whom he has the most gratitude are his fans. Howard proceeded to vow that he will give his listeners the best radio entertainment they've ever had when he moves to SIRIUS. Howard then finished his address by saying, "Don't break up the family. Stay with us in the future. It's going to be a great ride."

 Contributions by: Thomas Panasci & Jason Kaplan