Jade Capri - AKA - The Brasilian Flamethrower

Discussion in 'Real Life Ranch Reports' started by atlfan, Dec 4, 2013.

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    Jade Capri AKA The Brasilian Flamethrower


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    Sooooooo.......when I wrote my first review over a year ago I didn't really think I would have been lucky enough to write many more. I feel fortunate that I was incorrect :wink: . As I write each review, it becomes fairly challenging to come up with something new and fresh without telling details that are too personal in nature.

    For this review I wanted to focus on how smokin' hot Jade is. We know she is the hottest thing on the planet. But does she have any competition?

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    Napalm?

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    Greek fire?

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    Molten lava?

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    A steel factory?

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    The surface of the sun?

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    The hottest deserts?

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    Death Valley?

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    Nice try bro!

    As long as Jade is at the LRN, I think its safe to say the Carson City area will be the hottest place in North America...... :twisted: :roll:

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    I believe Jade has virtually unlimited job options due to her amazingly sweet, sexy, and soothing voice. She has conquered the radio waves with her "Pillow Talk" podcasts; and could very well be a hostage negotiator or have countless other professions :) . But I think that there is another huge opportunity for her.

    I present you with the "Jade Capri GPS".

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    Living in California, I deal with a buttload of traffic and horrible drivers. I usually end up yelling at people and getting a little carried away.

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    One day I thought, "What if Jade was my GPS?" (Sorry standard GPS lady ; your voice doesn't do it for me anymore :()

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    If I missed a turn, she would say "It's ok honey. Let's just make a u-turn."

    Disputes on the road? She could calm me down. "Babe! He's not worth it. You are way cuter and a much better driver."

    Unsafe driving? "Be careful hon! It's not a race."

    Traffic? "Sweetie the 405 is backed up.......let's take the side streets."


    I think her voice could reduce road rage and make the streets a little bit safer. ;)

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    Before meeting Jade this is how I felt.

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    And this is me "post Capri".

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    Jade, thank you for being my sexy therapist. I had a lot on my mind and I'm glad I didn't hold anything back. When I told you about the mistakes I had made, I did regret it at first when I saw how disappointed you were.

    But I soon realized that you were upset because you care about how I am doing and you want me to stay on the right path. I'm glad I shared that even though you weren't very happy with me. :x :shock: :(

    I appreciate your patience and understanding about me being a little under the weather. Even though it made things a little tough for me; you showed me your caring side, so it was probably meant to be.

    I had a great time and you really made some long time fantasies become a reality. 8)

    Even though we laughed about it, I made you a promise, and I can't wait to keep it. :| :oops: :lol:

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    This is what will happen when Jade announces her retirement. I will be passing out the torches..........just kidding!

    [smilie=be mine!.gif] [smilie=hot over you.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]


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  2. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    I know it was a message from your heart and it took a lot of time end effort for you to make this thread, but boy you should be a comedian. I can't stop laughing!!!! You are so funny ATL. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

    More to my response soon. Going to bed now zzzzzzzz


    EDITED 3/5/14


     
  3. crumbie
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    crumbie Active Member

    nodding in approval of this review.
     
  4. Amazing review
     
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    Some pics I wanted to use but couldn't figure out to squeeze in
     
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  7. Thank you babe! Making you smile is my main objective :)
     
  8. Thanks Crumbie and new2bayarea! Mucho appreciado!
     
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    [smilie=happy.gif] Why you gotta be all sexy and stuff? [smilie=happy.gif]
     
  10. breastlvr
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    breastlvr Well-Known Member

    Very entertaining review! But through it all, all valid points regarding Jade. :D
     

  11. Thanks bro! You always show love on my threads, I appreciate it!
     
  12. love the new sig honey! finally get to see that spicy face and love the pic on the far right too. U can even see a slice of ur butt in the mirror ;)
     
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  14. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    Thank you Crumbie :)
     
  15. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    He is very creative and entertaining. It's indeed amazing. thank you. :D
     
  16. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

  17. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

  18. shelbystar
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    shelbystar Looks gets you, my personality brings you back!

    Glad you and Jade had such a great date!
     
  19. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

  20. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    And I am blowing you a kiss :) [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]
     
  21. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    I solely agree with you. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]
     
  22. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    And you always succeed [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]
     
  23. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    ahhh you know... it's a curse :lol: :mrgreen:
     
  24. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    That is exactly what I think. He manage to write funny but truthful reviews.
     
  25. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    I could send that on the right to you, but now you have moved on, so I will refrain my self from doing it :mrgreen:
     
  26. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    I like to be in you entertainment center :mrgreen:
     
  27. WL1
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    WL1 Well-Known Member


    already wish i was back, hopefully sooner than later
    amazing view----

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  28. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    Me too. We always had.
     
  29. JadeCapri
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    JadeCapri Genuine•Embracing•Assisting conquer inadequacies

    I wish that too. Let's see how lucky I am in 2017 :)
     
    dreamscometrue and WL1 like this.
  30. WL1
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    WL1 Well-Known Member

    no luck needed for the beautiful Jade,
    I will definitely make it happen in 2017 :cool:

    [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]
     

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