I love Blondes and I love the jokes that go along with them. Here's one, got any? A blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes, but didn't want to pay the high prices. After unsuccessfully haggling with of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde said, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price." Later in the day, the shopkeeper spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. She took aim at an alligator, killed it and hauled it onto the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blonde flipped the alligator on its back and shouted in frustration, "Damn, this one isn't wearing any shoes either."
Someone saw a blonde eating a Tootsie Roll Pop and asked her, "So,... how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?" Without a thought, the blonde replied, "Beats me, but it took almost the whole day just to lick through the wrapper."
Glad you liked it Here's another... A blonde decided she needed something new and different for a winter hobby. She went to the bookstore and bought every book she could find on ice fishing. For weeks she read and studied, hoping to become an expert in the field. Finally she decided she knew enough and out she went for her first ice fishing trip. She carefully gathered up and packed all the tools and equipment needed for the excursion. Each piece of equipment had its own special place in her kit. When she got to the ice, she found a quiet little area, placed her padded stool and carefully laid out her tools. Just as she was about to make her first cut into the ice, a booming voice from the sky bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!" Startled, the blonde grabbed up all her belongings, moved further along the ice, poured some hot chocolate from her thermos, and started to cut a new hole. Again the voice from above bellowed, "There are no fish under the ice!!" Amazed, the blonde was not quite sure what to do as this certainly was not covered in any of her books. She packed up her gear and moved to the far side of the ice. Once there, she stopped for a few moments to regain her calm. Then she was extremely careful to set everything up perfectly--tools in the right place, chair positioned just so. Just as she was about to cut this new hole, the voice came again. "There are no fish under the ice!!" Petrified, the blonde looked skyward and asked, "Is that You, Lord?" The voice boomed back, "NO THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE SKATING RINK!"
Here's another one... A blonde was driving home and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees, and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her, and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'
A Blonde got a job at the tickle me elmo factory. She had only been working there half a day when her supervisor noticed her wrapping two marbles in red fabric and sewing them to the dolls crotch. Alarmed her supervisor ran over yelling" stop stop, you're supposed to be giving elmo TWO TEST TICKLES!"
Did you hear about the two blondes who went to Disneyland. They saw a sign that said Disneyland left, so they went home.
ok you all want Blonde jokes here's a few Why did the Blonde ask her friends to save their burnt out lightblubs?? She was going to build a dark room. Why should you never let a Blonde take a coffee break?? It takes to long to retrain them after. What goes Blonde, Black, Blonde, Black?? A Blonde doing cartwheels. What do you call it when a Blonde dyes her hair Brown? Artifical Intelligence. What about a Brunette that dyes her hair Blonde? A memory wipe. A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead were in an OBGYN's office. After a few minutes the Brunette says, "I'm going to have a boy because my husband was on top when we concieved." A few minutes later the Redhead says, "I'm going to have a girl because I was on top." A few more minutes later the Blonde starts sobbing uncontrollably, and the other two rush over to calm her down, and they ask why she's so upset. To which the Blonde replies, "I"M GOING TO HAVE PUPPIES!!!!" Why does a Blonde look around and smile everytime there's lightning? She thinks someone is taking her picture.
A blind man enters a lady's bar by mistake. Finding his way to the bar, he orders a drink. After a few drinks he yells, "Does anybody want to hear a blonde joke?" The place gets silent. Then a woman with a deep, husky voice sitting to the right of the man says, "Sir, since you are blind, I think it is only fair to let you know that 1. The bartender is a blonde woman. 2. The bouncer is a blonde woman. 3. The woman on your left is blonde and a professional wrestler. 4. I'm a six foot tall blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 5. The woman next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. Do you still want to tell that joke?" "Nah," says the man. "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it FIVE times."
