## Crazy Quote of The Day with Jayla Conrad ##

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Fri Jun 24, 2011 7:53 pm

summersmith wrote:

:shock: Wow I hope he is not serious

My old college buddy posted the following monologue on Facebook. He actually might have been serious, you never really know with him.

[color=#0000FF]Im going to rig up a microwave to run with the door open. Wish me luck.

My cell phone is communicating with my laptop via WIFI and instead of storing my phone in the microwave I'm just gonna run it with the door open and create a radio jammer. Now I gotta set up a halogen light to kill the infra-red chatter.

I am aware of the microwave's radio jamming properties. But if I need to use the phone I would like to step out on the balcony and know my computer is deaf.

Actually it got my attention. You see one of the reason's why I quit hanging around him was that he consumed cocaine in such large quantities and on such a frequent basis even Richard Pryor would've said "DUDE !! You need to think about cutting back !!" I'd get calls from him at 2pm on a Thursday where he'd been up drinking at some dive bar in the bad part of town for the last 72 hrs and he wanted me to go have a drink.

So I'm beginning to worry that he's becoming schizophrenic. A month ago he sent me a three page rambling email talking about how his phone is communicating with his computer to send mp3's of his phone conversations to his x-girlfriend. It sounds like this belief is what inspired this action. So I'm a bit worried.

tamelalee · **Posted:** Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:42 am

Central Ohioian wrote:

"Ok ok ok! 'Yes' I will build you kids a goddam catapult out back. Just let me sleep another ten minutes..." - This ensured I'll never be asked to babysit again.

Sharky · **Posted:** Sat Jun 25, 2011 7:03 pm

"That's Doctor Evil to you if you don't mind."

LOL

summersmith · **Posted:** Sun Jun 26, 2011 7:14 pm

Thats funny!

Central Ohioian wrote:

"Ok ok ok! 'Yes' I will build you kids a goddam catapult out back. Just let me sleep another ten minutes..." - This ensured I'll never be asked to babysit again.

summersmith · **Posted:** Sun Jun 26, 2011 7:20 pm

Ya he needs help a lot of help!

Central Ohioian wrote:

summersmith wrote:

:shock: Wow I hope he is not serious

My old college buddy posted the following monologue on Facebook. He actually might have been serious, you never really know with him.

[color=#0000FF]Im going to rig up a microwave to run with the door open. Wish me luck.

My cell phone is communicating with my laptop via WIFI and instead of storing my phone in the microwave I'm just gonna run it with the door open and create a radio jammer. Now I gotta set up a halogen light to kill the infra-red chatter.

I am aware of the microwave's radio jamming properties. But if I need to use the phone I would like to step out on the balcony and know my computer is deaf.

Actually it got my attention. You see one of the reason's why I quit hanging around him was that he consumed cocaine in such large quantities and on such a frequent basis even Richard Pryor would've said "DUDE !! You need to think about cutting back !!" I'd get calls from him at 2pm on a Thursday where he'd been up drinking at some dive bar in the bad part of town for the last 72 hrs and he wanted me to go have a drink.

So I'm beginning to worry that he's becoming schizophrenic. A month ago he sent me a three page rambling email talking about how his phone is communicating with his computer to send mp3's of his phone conversations to his x-girlfriend. It sounds like this belief is what inspired this action. So I'm a bit worried.

tamelalee · **Posted:** Sun Jun 26, 2011 7:51 pm

Ooooh is that what your gf's call u?? lol

Sharky wrote:

"That's Doctor Evil to you if you don't mind."

LOL

summersmith · **Posted:** Sun Jun 26, 2011 8:23 pm

Ok this is not a quote but it is funny! I have to put this out there :lol:

My niece farted so loud in her sleep she scared herself!! :lol:

Sharky · **Posted:** Sun Jun 26, 2011 8:48 pm

"Uh coach I think I broke my d*ck."
"What, well rub some dirt on it and get back in the game, we need you to win."

LOL hilarious line.
:lol:

Oh and my female friends call me Sharky or Mr BadA$$ depending on what situation they're in. :lol:

I don't have a gf, if I did I wouldn't be going to the Ranch. :mrgreen:

giselle banxx · **Joined:** Sat May 07, 2011 11:46 am **Posts:** 745

Maya Love · **Posted:** Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:40 am

summersmith wrote:

Ok this is not a quote but it is funny! I have to put this out there :lol:

My niece farted so loud in her sleep she scared herself!! :lol:

That's too cute!

tamelalee · **Posted:** Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:45 am

LMAO!!

Prob with me is..I hear something funny then forget to post it!

Sharky wrote:

"Uh coach I think I broke my d*ck."
"What, well rub some dirt on it and get back in the game, we need you to win."

LOL hilarious line.
:lol:

Oh and my female friends call me Sharky or Mr BadA$$ depending on what situation they're in. :lol:

I don't have a gf, if I did I wouldn't be going to the Ranch. :mrgreen:

Sharky · **Posted:** Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:19 pm

"I'm not going to have an argument with you."
"Why not?"
"You're obvious undermatched and I don't like fighting an unarmed man."

:lol:

jaylaconrad · **Posted:** Mon Jun 27, 2011 7:32 pm

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this and I don't give a F@#! if you're at the top!"

Longarm69 · **Posted:** Mon Jun 27, 2011 8:15 pm

I heard he is a few bricks short of a load.

He's like a moth attrached to a light bulb.

He's 0n the porch, but the bulb is out.

You can't win if you haven't lost.

If your leaving, your leaving the way you can into this world. Maked! (My Mom to my Sister when she threathened to run away from home)

He's in the house, but no one is home.

He ran like a scared rabbit. All over himself!

A Bunny on the hand has got to be worth a hell of a lot more than a Bird in the Bush!

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:11 pm

jaylaconrad wrote:

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this and I don't give a F@#! if you're at the top!"

LOL !!

summersmith · **Posted:** Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:12 pm

A Bunny on the hand has got to be worth a hell of a lot more than a Bird in the Bush!

That one is funny oh and the one about your mom and sister :lol:

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Mon Jun 27, 2011 11:18 pm

"If a few of us get together, and buckle down, we can find and kill that motherkisser behind all this poopoo particle board furniture ruining our lives."

"If you ever have a dream that you are peeing, please wake up and get off my couch..."

summersmith · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:07 am

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:11 am

summersmith wrote:

Ok this is not a quote but it is funny! I have to put this out there :lol:

My niece farted so loud in her sleep she scared herself!! :lol:

That's hilarious !!

giselle banxx · **Joined:** Sat May 07, 2011 11:46 am **Posts:** 745

summersmith · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:01 am

I have seen her do it! For such a tiny thing she has the biggest noises come out of her! Crazy! :lol:

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 1:07 am

summersmith wrote:

I have seen her do it! For such a tiny thing she has the biggest noises come out of her! Crazy! :lol:

LOL Her mother might want to have that checked out, never heard of that before :lol:

That reminds me. If I ever set-up an overnight with one of you ladies, I should probably cross "Dutch Oven" off my list of activities to discuss. After further review, that one doesn't seem very appropriate after all !! :lol:

giselle banxx · **Joined:** Sat May 07, 2011 11:46 am **Posts:** 745

Vanilla Frost · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:15 am

Central Ohioian wrote:

Vanilla Frost wrote:

"Why didn't you come help me like I asked?"

"I was playing Angry Birds... ?"

I love it and would suggest "Because I'd rather play in rush hour traffic on the freeway !" might also be an effective one in that situation.

jaylaconrad · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:05 pm

"YOU don't get to Toouuch me!!!! EVA!" Driver here lol it cracks me up when he says it!

tamelalee · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 12:23 pm

HA HA...too funny!!

jaylaconrad wrote:

"I'm going to get to the bottom of this and I don't give a F@#! if you're at the top!"

Sharky · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:19 pm

"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse."

"Go find a short pier and take a long walk."

"Fredo, you never go against the family."

summersmith · **Posted:** Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:50 pm

hahahaha

jaylaconrad wrote:

"YOU don't get to Toouuch me!!!! EVA!" Driver here lol it cracks me up when he says it!

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Wed Jun 29, 2011 12:38 am

Reporter: "How can you shoot women and children ?"

Marine: "Easy, you just don't lead them as much !"

1st Sgt "C.O. Pull your fucking pants up NOW, you sweetheart !!" I had waited for him to start eating a breakfast sausage, then flashed him the old fire crotch.

giselle banxx · **Joined:** Sat May 07, 2011 11:46 am **Posts:** 745

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:38 am

giselle banxx wrote:

:lol:

That one is cool too :lol:

tamelalee · **Posted:** Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:09 pm

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. -Will Rogers

Longarm69 · **Posted:** Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:06 pm

Italian Husband holding gun against his head says "Don'ta YOU be Laughing, Ima gonna shot Youa next" to wife lying on bed with the pool man.

He is a shell of a man! Because he has no nuts.

If my Uncle had no Balls, he would be called my Aunt.

If he has half a brain, he'd be considered dangerous!

If he shot himself in the head, he'd have a 50/50 chance of hitting something.

If a job ain't done right, you didn't do it yourself.

If he sneezed, he blow his brains out.

Sharky · **Posted:** Wed Jun 29, 2011 9:33 pm

From the Incredible Hulk pilot:

"Mr. McGee don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Love it, an instant classic.
:lol:

tamelalee · **Posted:** Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:48 pm

Longarm69 wrote:

Italian Husband holding gun against his head says "Don'ta YOU be Laughing, Ima gonna shot Youa next" to wife lying on bed with the pool man.

He is a shell of a man! Because he has no nuts.

If my Uncle had no Balls, he would be called my Aunt.

If he has half a brain, he'd be considered dangerous!

If he shot himself in the head, he'd have a 50/50 chance of hitting something.

If a job ain't done right, you didn't do it yourself.

If he sneezed, he blow his brains out.

tamelalee · **Posted:** Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:49 pm

Total classic

Sharky wrote:

From the Incredible Hulk pilot:

"Mr. McGee don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

Love it, an instant classic.
:lol:

Sharky · **Posted:** Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:08 pm

"Run!!"
"Why are you always telling me what to do? I'm tired of it."
"Fine stay here and die, I'm running."
Sees thugs approaching their location
"God I hate it when you're right."

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Tue Jul 05, 2011 9:44 pm

Some "do good know it all" found out about my upcoming trip and took it upon themselves to visit and give me a dose of morals. Not even family or someone I'd consider a close associate. Just a really nosy self righteous friend of a friend.

This did not go over well with me and in an effort to make the conversation really weird so they would loose their nerve and go away, I started to talk about masturbation. Yeah, I really did take the talk down that road with someone in their 60's.

I was momentarily stunned when I realized they actually believed it, when they tried to tell me that whenever you masturbate your dead relatives are watching. In an effort to explain why I should not pursue that activity.

My response to them was "Seriously, you mean to say that people watching me are the ones who hold the moral high ground ? I'm officially intrigued, help me connect the dots with the logic on this. Really please tell me more !!"

This was the point that they decided they had a family function to attend, FINALLY shut up and left me to sin in peace !!!

tamelalee · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2011 11:24 am

Is a shark coming to eat them? lol

Sharky wrote:

"Run!!"
"Why are you always telling me what to do? I'm tired of it."
"Fine stay here and die, I'm running."
Sees thugs approaching their location
"God I hate it when you're right."

Sharky · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:58 pm

LOL, no way
stupid people give me indigestion. :lol:

tamelalee wrote:

:lol:

Is a shark coming to eat them? lol

Sharky wrote:

"Run!!"
"Why are you always telling me what to do? I'm tired of it."
"Fine stay here and die, I'm running."
Sees thugs approaching their location
"God I hate it when you're right."

Sharky · **Posted:** Mon Jul 11, 2011 8:59 pm

"Hey Tony, be smart like Vinny said and keep your mouth shut or
they'll be feeding you to the sand sharks."

I love mobster quotes :mrgreen:

tamelalee · **Posted:** Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:38 pm

Ah ha!

Sharky wrote:

LOL, no way
stupid people give me indigestion. :lol:

tamelalee wrote:

:lol:

Is a shark coming to eat them? lol

Sharky wrote:

"Run!!"
"Why are you always telling me what to do? I'm tired of it."
"Fine stay here and die, I'm running."
Sees thugs approaching their location
"God I hate it when you're right."

tamelalee · **Posted:** Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:40 pm

"Wow... you are so dumb..I almost passed out!" :lol:

Sharky · **Posted:** Tue Jul 12, 2011 10:24 pm

"Sit your five dollar a$$ down before I make change!!"

~ Nino in New Jack City

tamelalee · **Posted:** Fri Jul 15, 2011 11:14 am

Sharky wrote:

"Sit your five dollar a$$ down before I make change!!"

~ Nino in New Jack City

jaylaconrad · **Posted:** Fri Jul 15, 2011 11:26 am

I'm stuffin muffins!!

crumbie · **Posted:** Fri Jul 15, 2011 1:06 pm

via twitter this morning by @DRUNKHULK

"KEEP THIS ON DOWN LOW! BUT DRUNK HULK TOTALLY PUT BABY IN CORNER!"

I laughed and retweeted

piglet · **Posted:** Fri Jul 15, 2011 1:26 pm

Your never alone........ With schizophprenia :roll:

Man he was several cans short of a six pack

and not really a quote more of a verbal caning

First person...... Wow you miraculus today

Second Person...... Thank you

First person..... Yeah it's a miracle how god managed to fit so much fat ugly and stupid in so small a package

tamelalee · **Posted:** Fri Jul 15, 2011 5:33 pm

Yea that was pretty funny!! :lol:

jaylaconrad wrote:

I'm stuffin muffins!!

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Fri Jul 15, 2011 11:46 pm

CO on why he refused to participate in potlucks at work (keep in mind I work for a medical lab)

"Because across the hall from the lunch room is a storage room full of piss, poopoo and vagina juice. Also I happen to know only about 25% of the male employes actually wash their hands after using the restroom".

Our medical director who was biting into a fresh peach at the time overheard that. Now there are no company potlucks allowed and thank goodness !!

Miss Isis · **Posted:** Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:10 pm

Way to ruin the fun for everyone, CO.

That does sound pretty yuck, though.

tamelalee · **Posted:** Sat Jul 16, 2011 1:35 pm

YUCK

Central Ohioian wrote:

CO on why he refused to participate in potlucks at work (keep in mind I work for a medical lab)

"Because across the hall from the lunch room is a storage room full of piss, poopoo and vagina juice. Also I happen to know only about 25% of the male employes actually wash their hands after using the restroom".

Our medical director who was biting into a fresh peach at the time overheard that. Now there are no company potlucks allowed and thank goodness !!

Sharky · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:25 pm

"Isn't Congress and the word work an oxymoron. Well at least the moron part is right."
~Dennis Miller on Congress addressing the debt problem

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:53 pm

"I don't care what Congress does, so long as they don't do it on the streets and frighten the horses" author unknown.

jaylaconrad · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2011 1:48 pm

"You have a great forehead, tyra aint got nothing on you! "

tamelalee · **Posted:** Sun Jul 17, 2011 3:44 pm

"Be nice to nerds, chances are you will be working for them."

Vanilla Frost · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 12:29 am

Sharky wrote:

"Run!!"
"Why are you always telling me what to do? I'm tired of it."
"Fine stay here and die, I'm running."
Sees thugs approaching their location
"God I hate it when you're right."

Vanilla Frost · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 12:34 am

tamelalee wrote:

"Be nice to nerds, chances are you will be working for them."

Sooooo very true - look at Bill Gates.

"You've gotta spend a lot of time stuffed in your own locker with your underwear wedged up your ass before you start thinking 'I'm gonna take over the world with computers! You'll see, I'll show them!' "

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 12:40 am

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fuck it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."poopoo My Dad Says

"My name is Smokin Joe Frazier, Sharp as a razor. Yeah float like a butterfly sting like a bee, I'm the man who done the job, you know, look at him and see". The greeting on Joe Frazier's cell phone (YES HE STILL HATES HIM !!!)

"No sometimes they poopoo in the zoo, now shut up and drink your beer !" CO in response to question: Do always bears poopoo in the woods ?

And one of the absolute GREATEST putdowns ever uttered by a human being.

Churchill after a woman accused him of being too drunk. "Yes but you are ugly and tomorrow I shall be sober."

tamelalee · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 12:12 pm

"Smells like a boy I used to bang in high school." :shock:

rochelleworthington · **Joined:** Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:56 pm **Posts:** 154

Say what? Xoxo [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

tamelalee · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 1:09 pm

rochelleworthington wrote:

Say what? Xoxo [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

rochelleworthington · **Joined:** Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:56 pm **Posts:** 154

You only have to worry when they stop talking about you! [smilie=hot over you.gif]

Sharky · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:50 pm

"Leave the gun, take the cannoli." ~ The Godfather
:mrgreen:

Jimi Lynn · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:52 pm

Nigma wrote:

jaylaconrad wrote:

You're so HAWT... it burns when I pee.

hehehehe

Your turn!!

wow thats pretty funny

Yes, it's funny..

tamelalee · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 4:41 pm

mmmm i love cannolis [smilie=hot over you.gif]

I havent had one in forever

Sharky wrote:

"Leave the gun, take the cannoli." ~ The Godfather
:mrgreen:

Sharky · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 4:46 pm

I should cook for you sometime...so can can give me an opinion of my
capabilities.
:mrgreen:

tamelalee wrote:

mmmm i love cannolis [smilie=hot over you.gif]

I havent had one in forever

Sharky wrote:

"Leave the gun, take the cannoli." ~ The Godfather
:mrgreen:

tamelalee · **Posted:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 5:04 pm

I love homecooked meals :mrgreen:

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2011 12:39 am

Harvard University President Larry Summers on the Winklevoss Twins today.

"One of the things you learn as a college president is that if an undergraduate is wearing a tie and jacket on Thursday afternoon at three o'clock, there are two possibilities. One is that they're looking for a job and have an interview; the other is that they are an a**hole. This was the latter case."

Check it: http://money.cnn.com/video/technology/2 ... s.fortune/

tamelalee · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2011 7:42 am

williamsn411 wrote:

"I'm like Jean-Claude Van Damme, but instead of beating people up...I have sex with them" - Comedian Jon Lajoie

Police Officer: "You know how fast you were going?"
Driver: "65?"
Police Officer: "63"
Driver: "Officer, isn't the speed limit 65?"
Police Officer: "Yeah...it is"

Me: "Hey dad, I just saw this really cool shirt. It had leaves and vines on it, but they were in the form of a peace sign"
My Dad: "How would you wash it?"

Good ones

tamelalee · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2011 7:44 am

Central Ohioian wrote:

Harvard University President Larry Summers on the Winklevoss Twins today.

"One of the things you learn as a college president is that if an undergraduate is wearing a tie and jacket on Thursday afternoon at three o'clock, there are two possibilities. One is that they're looking for a job and have an interview; the other is that they are an a**hole. This was the latter case."

Check it: http://money.cnn.com/video/technology/2 ... s.fortune/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

jaylaconrad · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2011 1:45 pm

"What... What!!! IN THE BUTT!!!!! "

Sharky · **Posted:** Thu Jul 21, 2011 3:05 pm

"Mmmmm, I wanna butter your muffin."
~From Weird Science

tamelalee · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2011 2:14 pm

Hee hee..u been saying that a lot lately :lol:

jaylaconrad wrote:

"What... What!!! IN THE BUTT!!!!! "

Sharky · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2011 3:17 pm

"You give idiots a bad name."
:lol:

If Jayla's running around saying "What..what?? In the butt!!!"
can I just say "Hey I was obliging her." :twisted:

tamelalee · **Posted:** Fri Jul 22, 2011 5:18 pm

Ya..she is so much fun lol

Sharky wrote:

"You give idiots a bad name."
:lol:

If Jayla's running around saying "What..what?? In the butt!!!"
can I just say "Hey I was obliging her." :twisted:

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:06 am

Sharky wrote:

"You give idiots a bad name."
:lol:

GREAT ONE !!

tamelalee · **Posted:** Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:21 pm

"I came so much my ovaries hurt"

Sharky · **Posted:** Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:43 pm

Would love to take you to that level.
:twisted:

tamelalee wrote:

"I came so much my ovaries hurt"

Central Ohioian · **Posted:** Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:57 pm

"Please stop sending stupid people, I'm running out of places to put the bodies"-bumper sticker

jaylaconrad · **Posted:** Mon Jul 25, 2011 2:32 pm

"I live my life with wet spots" some guy

Sharky · **Posted:** Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:05 pm

"I see the 'Stupid Fairy' has paid another visit." Random posting on the internet.
:lol:

tamelalee · **Posted:** Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:18 pm

ME TOO!!!! [smilie=hot over you.gif]

Sharky wrote:

Would love to take you to that level.
:twisted:

tamelalee wrote:

"I came so much my ovaries hurt"

Sharky · **Posted:** Mon Jul 25, 2011 3:43 pm

I'll do my best to make sure you get there and
aren't disappointed in any way whatsoever.
[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

tamelalee wrote:

ME TOO!!!! [smilie=hot over you.gif]

Sharky wrote:

Would love to take you to that level.
:twisted:

tamelalee wrote:

"I came so much my ovaries hurt"

Vanilla Frost · **Posted:** Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:13 am

tamelalee wrote:

"Smells like a boy I used to bang in high school." :shock:

ROFL

Vanilla Frost · **Posted:** Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:16 am

jaylaconrad wrote:

"What... What!!! IN THE BUTT!!!!! "

I SAID What what!!! In the BUTT!!!

Sharky · **Posted:** Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:14 pm

"There are two kinds of people that use glitter. Kids and strippers, so unless you've been
helping at school your wife is going to nail your hide to the wall."

:lol:

tamelalee · **Posted:** Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:58 pm

Sharky wrote:

"There are two kinds of people that use glitter. Kids and strippers, so unless you've been
helping at school your wife is going to nail your hide to the wall."

:lol: