lol simple enough

A blonde once shot an arrow into the air... but missed!

A blonde a brunette and a redhead walk into an adult store. The redhead asks: “How much for the black dildo?” “50 bucks”, says the clerk. The brunette asks: “How much for the white dildo?” “50 bucks”, says the clerk. The blonde picks up a big silver one and says: “How much for this one?” “Oh, I have to get 100 dollars for that one.”

They all three make their purchases. The clerk is chuckling as the women leave and his partner asked why he was laughing. “Well”, he says, :”I sold the black and the white dildos for 50 bucks apiece. Oh, and by the way, I sold your thermos for 100 dollars.”


Chili

Priceless!!!

lol that is so bad and is she ever gonna get stretched!

marriage joke was really cute and so true

"I’m knot a blonde! I’m knot, I’m knot, I’m knot!"

To keep with the thermos theme:

A blond was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver thermos.
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and took it to the clerk to ask what it was.
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos... It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold."
"Wow," said the blond, "That's amazing... I'm going to buy it!" So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. "What's that," he asked?
"That's a thermos... It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it?"
The blond replied..... "Two Popsicles and some coffee."

ah ha...good one I love your new sig Mick, We can see your beautiful face now

got this as an email

ENJOY - A Blonde's Year in Review

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....
Helllloooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....
Box said ' 2-4 years!'

April
Trapped on escalator for hours ...
Power went out!!!

May

Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....
8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......
Couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....
Learned later that the other swimmers cheated- they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....
Darn car filled up with water because convertible top was open.

September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???

October
Hate M & M's.....They are so hard to peel.

November
Baked Thanksgiving turkey for 4 1/2 days ...
Instructions said bake 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911.
'Duh'.....there's no 'eleven' button on the stupid phone!!!


THE BEST BLONDE JOK E OF THE YEAR - SO FAR

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.

She opened it then slammed it shut and Stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'

To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
(Are you ready? This is a beauty...)



'My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'

Good one! Thanks for sharing

BLONDE ON THE SUN

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.

The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'

The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'

The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.

'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.

To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

Thanks for the laugh

Ah ha..thats awesome!!!

Haha, glad you both liked it!

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when
he sees a blonde girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.


"What are you doing?" he asks."I'm going to commit
a suicide," she says.


While he did not want to appear insensitive,
he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked
"Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a
kiss?"


So, she does.
After she's finished, the biker says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had.
That's a real talent you are wasting.
You could be famous
Why are you committing suicide?"


"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

I betcha didnt see that coming lol

No I didn't I hope that sort of thing doesn't happen at the Bunny Ranch

NEVER!!! dont worry

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon theirarrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says'Do Not Disturb'!"

I hope this isn't a repeat , I'm not gonna read two pages of jokes to find out


>
> A PLANE IS ON ITS WAY TO CHICAGO WHEN A BLONDE

IN ECONOMY CLASS GETS UP, AND MOVES TO THE FIRST

CLASS SECTION AND SITS DOWN.
>
> THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT WATCHES HER DO THIS, AND ASKS TO SEE

HER TICKET.
>
> SHE THEN TELLS THE BLONDE THAT SHE PAID FOR

ECONOMY CLASS, AND THAT SHE WILL HAVE TO SIT IN THE BACK.
>
> THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,

I'M GOING TO CHICAGO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT

HERE."
>
> THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT GOES INTO THE COCKPIT AND TELLS THE

PILOT AND THE CO-PILOT THAT THERE IS A BLONDE BIMBO SITTING IN

FIRST CLASS, THAT BELONGS IN ECONOMY, AND WON'T MOVE BACK TO HER

SEAT.
>
> THE CO-PILOT GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN

THAT BECAUSE SHE ONLY PAID FOR ECONOMY SHE WILL HAVE TO LEAVE AND

RETURN TO HER SEAT.
>
> THE BLONDE REPLIES, "I'M BLONDE, I'M BEAUTIFUL,

I'M GOING TO CHICAGO AND I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE."
>
> THE CO-PILOT TELLS THE PILOT THAT HE PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE

THE POLICE WAITING WHEN THEY LAND TO ARREST THIS BLONDE

WOMAN, WHO WON'T LISTEN TO REASON.
>
> THE PILOT SAYS, "YOU SAY SHE IS A BLONDE?

I'LL HANDLE THIS, I'M MARRIED TO A BLONDE. I SPEAK BLONDE."
>
> HE GOES BACK TO THE BLONDE AND WHISPERS IN HER

EAR, AND SHE SAYS, "OH, I'M SORRY." AND GETS UP AND

GOES BACK TO HER SEAT IN ECONOMY.
>
> THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT AND CO-PILOT ARE AMAZED

AND ASKED HIM WHAT HE SAID TO MAKE HER MOVE WITHOUT

> ANY FUSS.
>
> "I TOLD HER, "FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING

TO CHICAGO ".


Chili

AWESOME joke!!! hee hee!!

being a blonde myself i dont know toooooo many blonde jokes but daddy yours is funny!!!

keep em coming!!

<3 emily

Q: How does a blonde lose five pounds?
A: She takes off her make-up.

I have a blonde aunty so i know a lot of them.............. lol

Q: What do you give the blonde who has everything?
A: Penicillin.

Q. What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven't met!

Q. What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money.

Q: Why can't blondes be cattle ranchers?
A: They can't keep their calves together!

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'

Q. Why do blondes wear underwear?
A. To keep their ankles warm.

Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A. So she can have a doggie bag for later.

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only fit 3 fingers in a bowling ball.

Q. What do a bleached blonde and a 747 have in common?
A. They both have a black box.

Good ones

I love your blonde jokes daddy D!

crazy lol

Hilarious!!!

lol and sad at the time

Omg that is one of the best blonde jokes I have probably ever heard!!!

She's so blonde that she...well she's blonde, you figure it out

Very interesting

You learn something new everyday!!

A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, "Are you going to San Diego?"

"Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?"
"Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I'll give you $100 for your trouble."

"I'd be happy to," said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.

Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blond. "What are you doing here?" he demanded, "I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo."

"Yes, I know you did," said the blonde,"but we had money left over so now we're going to Sea World."


Chili

One hot summer day, a blonde came to town with her dog, tied it under the
Shade of a tree, and headed into a restaurant for something cold to drink.

Twenty minutes later, a policeman entered the restaurant and asked, 'Who
Owns the dog tied under that tree outside?'

The blonde said it was hers.

'Your dog seems to be in heat' the officer said.

The blonde replied, 'No way. She's cool 'cause she's tied up under that
Shade tree.'

The policeman said, 'No! You don't understand. Your dog wants to be bred.'

'No way,' said the blonde. 'My dog doesn't need bread. She isn't hungry
'cause I fed her this mornin.'

The exasperated policeman said, 'NO! You don't understand. Your dog wants
To have sex!'

You gotta love this:

The blonde looked at the cop and said, 'Well, go ahead. I always wanted a
Police dog.'

Thats bad!! lol

Hu! Thats cute.

Q: What's the diff between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

LMAO!!

I love this one!!!

Good One (LOL)

A blonde walks into a library and goes up to the librarian
Blonde asks "Hi, I'd like a cheese burger and fries please"
The librarian turns and says "I'm sorry, we are a library"
The blonde says "Oh sorry, (whispering) can I have a cheese burger and fries"

Ha Ha

haha thats great!

Why did the blonde have bruises on her bellybutton?

Her boyfriend was blond, too...

ahaa!

Ha ha I love it!

This was just sent to me made me laugh, I love to laugh and I love to cum, throw in a good meal and call it a day.

THE BLONDE GUY SAID

I just saved a bunch of money on my child support by switching to condoms

too funny!

That one really did make me giggle, AWESOME!

I Want to Buy That



A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.

The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.

The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.

Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.

Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.

To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.

The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"

The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

How do u make a blonde laugh on Saturday??



Tell her a joke on Wedneaday

Turn back your car odometer

A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it. She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.

The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."

"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde. "All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."

"Alright," replied the brunette. In a quiet voice, she told the blonde: "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop around here. Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles. Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.

About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"

"No!" replied the blonde. "Why should I? It only has 40,000 miles on it."

Ahhaaaa!!

A blonde and a brunette are skydiving.

The brunette jumps out the plane and pulls the cord -- nothing happens.

She pulls the emergency cord and still nothing.

The blonde finally jumps out of the plane and yells "Oh! So you wanna race, huh?"

I am sorry but... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.