RACKASAURUS


If boobs had teeth these would be on top of the food chain with their immense size.

Wrangled Testes



The squished appearance of a man's tenders when his Wranglers (or any pants really) are too tight.

Gigglicious

To giggle uncontrolablly due to a situation being so completly funny it is delicious.

Tamela and Jayla, on our most recent out date, saw a bunch of older people playing old board games, and found the situation so funny they became gigglicious. Tamela photoed the players and Jayla photoed Tamela taking her picture, the whole time giggling.

John was gigglicious with excitment upon finding an open and lineless, checkout line at the end of the counters, when everyone else was waiting in long lines at the store.

maa faa paa naa


comes from norwegian slang,

means, have to get fucked as soon as possible.
extreme urge to get it on.

Twat


Vulgar term for the female genitals, also means a fool or foolish person.


He is such a twat! He wore plaid to a black tie party.



Twatie


Combination of Twat and Hottie. A foolish and super attractive person.

All these girls are twaties, none of them will give me the time of day or even talk to me.

SEXYTASTIC


A compliment to someone who looks unbelievably sexy, hot, beautiful, hott, or gorgeous.


ALL the BUNNIES and LOVERS are Sexytastic!!!!!!!!!!

SMELLUCINATION


To 'smellucinate' - to imagine a smell that isn't actually there, as if to 'hallucinate'.

karma-bitchslap



Applies to a person who, gets whatever they want when they want it, and no one can explain how, yet once or twice a year something goes so horribly wrong in their life they cant see straight.

shower fluffer


when one's spouse or roommate takes the first shower of the day and gets the hot water running so for your shower the availability of hot water is immediate.

TOOTHPASTE HANGOVER


The effect that makes everything taste disgusting after you brush your teeth.

E-CLAP

A computer virus contracted due to unprotected intimacy with web sites of ill repute. Note- Mac users are largely immune to the E-Clap.

YAWN PONG


A game played by tired people. In short, one person yawns and then the other person does. Should the original yawner yawn twice before the second person yawns once, player one has one point.

sleeping terms



used to describe a relationship with an ex-significant other that still involves occasional sex.

they broke up a while ago, but they still hook up. they're totally on sleeping terms.

upcycling


The practice of converting waste materials into products of greater value.

By upcycling, the contractor took a junked Boeing 747 and created a home for a client.

torqued

From the show Workaholics, it is the equivelent of having an erection.

Paraphrased from the show: "Dude...you are fully torqued right now!" "Well yeah! I was about to have sex with that chick!"

Business shower


An intimate shower taken between 2 persons solely for the purpose of saving time, completely devoid of any sexual connotation.

GIRL WOOD


Female arousal. The girl equivalent to morningwood guys experience upon waking.

handshake rape



when someone asserts their dominance over you in a handshake by grabbing your fingers before you have a chance to get a proper grip

Jonah: So man, how did that job interview go?

Heath: Well I felt pretty good going into it, but then I got handshake raped by the interviewer and it all went downhill from there.

Nipple -icious

(1)Being nipple-like in nature; sexy.
(2)The act of showing nipple.
- The thought of seeing nipple.

Trick Out

Verb. Etymology: coming from the modern car tuning scene.
a phrase that means to modify a vehicle with as many types of aftermarket parts, performance or visual-wise, as are supported by that certain vehicle.


"As soon as i get my settlement check, im gonna trick out my ride"

accubitus;

lying together in the same bed, but without any venereal commerce.

harmaceutical



A medication FDA approved and released for public consumption by a pharmaceutical company only to be re-called and be the subject of a class-action lawsuit because of its previouslly unreported dangers.

Although the diet pill seemed to facilitate rapid weight loss, it was only when Jack spontaneously developed an extra set of nipples did we suspect the new drug was actually a harmaceutical.

Slip of the Thumbs


When sending a text message and the recipient of the message was not the intended recipient. Alternatively, when you try to reply to one person, and another message comes in just as you're about to reply, and you end up replying to the wrong person.



I'm guilty of this one!

VAGINA BREAD


The Best Tasting Bread There Is
When 4 tbsp of the yeast from a female's Candidiasis (Yeast Infection) fluid is mixed into the dough of basic bread. During the rising process, the yeast from the Candidiasis fluid makes the bread extra moist and fluffy.

Recipe
Ingredients
• 1/2 cup warm water
• 4 tablespoons of Candidiasis fluid (obtained from inserting a measuring tool into an infected vagina)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 4 cups high gluten flour
• 4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
Directions

Place warm water in a warm mixing bowl and add the Candidiasis fluid. Stir to mix and let stand 3 minutes. Add salt and sugar and stir through. Add flour and olive oil and mix, using hands until you can knead the dough without it sticking to your fingers. Add more water, if needed.

Wash and dry hands and remove ball to cutting board. Knead the dough, occasionally dusting with 1 teaspoon flour, until a firm, smooth homogenous ball is formed, about 15 minutes. Place ball of dough in a lightly oiled mixing bowl, cover with a clean kitchen towel and allow to rise in a warm place until its size is doubled, about 2 hours. Punch down and divide into 2 pieces.

Dough is now ready for use.

Bake the two pieces at 400 degrees fahrenheit for 20 minutes.

Enjoy!
National Festival of Breads

telephobia



when someone has the fear of talking on the phone.

i would call you but, i have telephobia.

Going Screensaver




When you notice a coworker spacing out, or dozing off in a meeting.

“Check it out, look at Joe. He’s going screensaver.”

Facebitcher


Someone who constantly updates their Facebook status with complaints and disgruntlement about life, boyfriend/girlfriend, work, school,etc, etc.

BUBBLE WRAP SEX


What happens when you roll out bubble wrap, squirt some baby oil all over it and you and your partner have slippery popping sex!

Bi Polar Coaster

When you or someone you know is in a relationship where one or the other experiences extreme emotional highs and lows on pretty much a dialy basis.

Derek's girlfriend is freaking out agian, he can't come tonight he is riding the bi polar coaster.

His ex rode the bi polar coaster all the way to crazyville

FRIEND BARRIER


A wall of friends that protect indecent exposure from others. Used for women changing clothes in class to girls showing their tits.

FRIENDING SPREE

Randomly adding anyone you come across on a social network, including complete strangers

Meditasturbating

The act of masturbating, climaxing, and achieving Nirvana such that one goes into a state of meditative trance immediately afterward.

funner


When fun just won't do, take it to the next level.

GROGGY STYLE


Intercourse characterized by mutual feelings of exhaustion, befuddlement and an accumulation of bedtime body oils.

liketurbate




Liking your own post or comment on Facebook.

You just know Bob is going to sit over there and liketurbate

ROCK OUT WITH MY SPOCK OUT



To openly be a fan of any of the Star Trek series and/or films. Also known as a "Trekky".


GOTCHA!!! Having dirty thoughts??? hehe

SUPER DERECHO

The name of the type of Storm that knocked out all the power on the East Coast this weekend it means fast moving straight line high winds

Indeederdoodle

A super fabulous way to emphasize a statement or response.

DICKATARIAN


A hot vegetarian who rejects the consumption of all meats, except the penis. She likes that very much. It is her guilty pleasure.

Apivorous
Not sure how often one would use this word, but it's an adjective meaning "bee-eating". See also Insects.

Xoxox Carrie

Ann Curry'd


1. Fired without merit or reason

2. Being let go from a job unexpectedly.

We got Ann Curry'd from our job, but its cool we got that unemployment check!

COCKPIT

The little area between your balls and your dick. Like the armpit of your weener.

poor man's limo



any public transportation (bus, train, subway, metro) where you are the ONLY person getting a ride

I rode the poor man's limo home today.

For the second time this month I got the poor man's limo to take me home.

RUGGING

Strumming the vag with your tongue.

INSTAMACY

A love relationship marked by goggle-eyed infatuation, intense sexual lust, a tendency to finish each other's sentences, sleeplessness, and a certainty of failure.

Dreamathon




The act of hitting the snooze button over and over again and having a different dream every time you fall asleep.

I set my snooze for every ten minutes so I can have plenty of dreams in my dreamathon

PUSSYAPHOBIA

The fear of a vagina. Ultimately diverging into fear of having sex with a woman, thus, in some cases, turning said pussyaphobic male homosexual. For females, straight.

insomnia dyslexia



1. When you are so tired, everything you say or type comes out misspelled, or as nonsense.

2. When lack of sleep prevents you from generating a coherent sentence in conversation.

on surfin' bird

Are you aware that the word is the bird?

ugh.. I meant bird is the word*

Sorry, I'm having insomnia dyslexia tonight.

SHOWER BUDDIES


The purpose of shower sharing is for a more lively cleansing activity in order to improve the mundane tedious chore or cleaning oneself.

TWIT PIC FAKE OUT

When you scroll down your twitter timeline and see a very attractive person's "twit pic" and you click on their profile to get a better look at them, to come to find that they are not as "Attractive" as they looked from your timeline.

Slowest Common Denominator


The first person at the front of a single line of moving traffic or whatever lol

1st guy) Why is this traffic moving so slow.
2nd guy) There's a guy ahead of us that is driving the exact speed limit.
1st guy) He's the slowest common denominator

DICKLE TICKLE

The feeling a girl gets when a guy rubs his semi-chub against her back, usually while spooning.

BONER PANTS

Pants that use tough fabric (jeans, khakis) and constantly look like said wearer has a boner. Jeans show this the most, especially whilst sitting.

bone ami




A French fuck buddy.



The French really understand attachment-free sex. All the single people you meet in Paris have bone amis.

SOPHOSEXUAL

A person who is sexually attracted to intelligence in others.

SQUIRTAGE

The ejaculate expelled during moments of sheer orgasmic awesomeness.

successorize


Noun: Item of clothing or apparel used to make you look or feel more successful

Daniella used her fake glasses to successorize when going to work on Friday. Instantly her coworkers thought she looked smarter.

FLIRTATIONSHIP


A mutual and permanently undeveloped relationship between two people, usually resulting in an epic 'friends with benefits'. It is characterized by half-hidden kisses, constant spankings, and body groping. Sometimes kicked off by the guilty partner that dropped the 'just friends' line, a flirtationship can be easily spotted when you hear "get a room!" and "just go out already!"

VAGINA BOOB

Possibly the greatest of all Family Guy quotes. 'Nuff said.

ABSOFUCKINAWESOME


A word to use when something is so awesome your brain starts to scramble random words together.

aluminize


1.) A verb describing the act of covering something with aluminum foil.

Aluminize the chicken so we can bake it in the oven.


2). to use a metal baseball bat to inflict damage or harm

My girlfriend dumped me. In my kindness, I aluminized her car late last night.

We were out aluminizing mailboxes till the cops caught us .

FUCK FLAPPERS

Vagina lips that clap.

TWITTERBATOR


One who derives satisfaction from stroking their ego via excessive tweeting.

ASK HOLE


Someone who constantly asks for your advise then does the exact opposite of what you told them.

SUCK PLATES

Nipples; breasts; tits

SUPER KISS


Kissing someones genitals, or licking, whatever is your preference.

Screwvenir


Anything stolen from a one night stand. Whether it be a used condom or a blender.

After Tim and I fucked like bunnies and past out, I screwvenired his entire collection of lawn gnomes.

CLAMBURGER


A vagina, specifically when viewed from behind in the doggy-style position.

BAND-AID TAN


The strip of white on your body (usually the finger) from where you left a band-aid on for a while (esp. while outside).

TW-HATING


Hating on somebody else on twitter

DOUBLE BREASTED JACK IT


When you take your penis back and forth between a girls tits. AKA Titty Fucking

CINNAMON BUNS


A sweet ass. Can be a male or female.

baylum


This is another word for the vagina.

Stop being such a baylum.

POPCORNILINGUS

The act of eating popcorn off the top of the bag using your tongue, while walking to the auditorium of a movie theatre because your hands are full.

Apodyopsis: the act of mentally undressing someone

mines



a word that dumbasses use to mean possession.

Those books are mines.
That's mines.
You got mines?

Basorexia: a strong craving or hunger for kissing

CUTE CAT SYNDROME


When you see a cat that is just so darn cute you want to squeeze the life right out of it.

DANGER BREEZE

The feeling of terror males get when they feel a chill in the genitalia region, believing it to be because their 'fly' (button or zip) is undone.

COCK TAN

A grading of a suntan where the rest of a mans skin is equal in color to the skin tone on his flaccid penis.

iFinger

It's the finger(s) you purposely keep clean when you eat something messy so you could operate your touchscreen smartphone/tablet/GPS without making the screen look like your plate.

These ribs are delicious and messy, but I have to keep my pinky clean cause its my iFinger.

FUN RUB


The act of a female rubbing her clitoris and vagina with a limp penis while the male is unconscious, leading to a full erection.

underboob



Underboob: The only time in life when gravity is your friend.

"She's got underboob, so there's a small chance her boobs will slip out of her top, thanks to our good friend GRAVITY"

PUSSY CRYSTALS


The white crust aftermath left on your dick when done with sex.

FAP 0'CLOCK


The part of the day, mostly at night, when someone has the habit and/or desire of masturbating.

Brozilian




Derived from the term brazilian which refers to the near-complete removal of the pubic and ass-crack hair via waxing. Refers to the analogous procedure performed on a man, usually in the hopes of receiving friction-free group anilingus at the local rest stop from mustachioed long-haul truckers.

Oh heavens! Chauncy's brozilian is just begging to be slathered in Astroglide!