15 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy......with Ruby Rae

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 8:00 am

A little positiveness and life changing advice in the morning never hurt no one

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

....about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

redwood · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 8:07 am

VEry nice post beautiful Ruby Rae! Everyone could benefit from reading this. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

crumbie · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 8:19 am

I can do 14 of those, but I need to be right lol
if I open my mouth to contradict someone... i will not give up til I'm acknowledged as being in the right

sighkai · **Joined:** Wed Jul 20, 2011 2:28 pm **Posts:** 314

Great list Ruby, I initially thought it would be a list of physical items, but with you writing I should have known better [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

Crock_Harker · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 8:53 am

Once again, your level of maturity for your age shines through. What an excellent post to wake up to this morning. Well said, Ruby-Dooby-Doo!

BigAlbowski · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 9:02 am

Great list Ruby!!! I think they are all wonderful ways to improve our outlook!

[smilie=i love you1.gif]

Al

SolomonKane · **Joined:** Sun Jul 31, 2011 7:43 am **Posts:** 160

Thank you for posting this, Ruby. A lot of these definitely (and uncomfortably lol) hit very close to home for me. Very enlightening.

Weekend Warrior · **Joined:** Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:17 pm **Posts:** 50

Ruby,
These are GREAT! Wonderful advice!

You really should consider starting your own Psychotherapy practice, Dr. Ruby Rae!

Are you accepting new patients? :shock:

Sign me up today!
Oh, that's right. We have a therapy session scheduled for next week in your "office". :wink:

WW

Claire_Marshall · **Joined:** Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:10 pm **Posts:** 100

Great information Ruby. A bit challenging in some areas, but I think if people work on it then they will get there!

origlegman · **Joined:** Wed Aug 04, 2010 9:17 pm **Posts:** 4382

A beautiful list Ruby. If we all tried to manage our lives with those principles in mind, the world would definitely be a better place. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

TiredFrog · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 3:52 pm

I've been fairly successful with most of these... #4 tends to be a problem though

Weekend Warrior · **Joined:** Sun Apr 01, 2012 1:17 pm **Posts:** 50

Ruby,
There is a lot of truth and value in your advice list. Thank you very much for sharing it!

It made me think of some other advice I saw once on the internet, so here it is.
Hope you like it, and don't find it to be too silly.

WW

Everything I Need To Know In Life,
I Learned From My Cat

1) Life is hard, then you nap.
2) Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
3) When in doubt, cop an attitude.
4) Variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.
5) Climb your way to the top--that's why the drapes are there.
6) Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.
7) Find your place in the sun--especially if it happens to be on that nice pile of warm, clean laundry.
8.) Make your mark in the world--or at least spray in each corner.
9) When eating out think nothing of sending back your meal twenty or thirty times.
10) If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over several expensive antique lamps.
11) Always give generously--a small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care."
12) When you go out into the world, remember: being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.

Jimi Lynn · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 4:45 pm

those are good ones, I will complain a lot less for sure.

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:35 pm

redwood wrote:

VEry nice post beautiful Ruby Rae! Everyone could benefit from reading this. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

I have each number printed out and hung in my bathroom so I read it every morning. It really helps

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:36 pm

crumbie wrote:

I can do 14 of those, but I need to be right lol
if I open my mouth to contradict someone... i will not give up til I'm acknowledged as being in the right

One of my past relationships ended because my ex could never be wrong

You should try to work on it, I promise you will be happier

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:37 pm

sighkai wrote:

Great list Ruby, I initially thought it would be a list of physical items, but with you writing I should have known better [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

I'm more of an inside/emotional person haha

Thanks, sighkai!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:40 pm

Crock_Harker wrote:

Once again, your level of maturity for your age shines through. What an excellent post to wake up to this morning. Well said, Ruby-Dooby-Doo!

Awww, thanks, Crock! I hope you read it again if you ever need a little pick me up, or if negative thoughts are ever clouding your mindset

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:40 pm

BigAlbowski wrote:

Great list Ruby!!! I think they are all wonderful ways to improve our outlook!

[smilie=i love you1.gif]

Al

The trick is to follow through on them!

Thanks, Al!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:41 pm

SolomonKane wrote:

Thank you for posting this, Ruby. A lot of these definitely (and uncomfortably lol) hit very close to home for me. Very enlightening.

Some of them hit me hard, too, SK

I think everyone needs to work on at least a few of them! We're not all perfect

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:42 pm

Weekend Warrior wrote:

[smilie=hi ya!.gif]
Ruby,
These are GREAT! Wonderful advice!

You really should consider starting your own Psychotherapy practice, Dr. Ruby Rae!

Are you accepting new patients? :shock:

Sign me up today!
Oh, that's right. We have a therapy session scheduled for next week in your "office". :wink:

WW

Thanks, WW! Psychology is a big interest of mine, but it's not something I want to go into as career. That doesn't mean I don't like helping people, though

I can't wait for our "session"

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:43 pm

Claire_Marshall wrote:

Great information Ruby. A bit challenging in some areas, but I think if people work on it then they will get there!

Exactly! The good things in life take a little hard work to get to

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:45 pm

origlegman wrote:

A beautiful list Ruby. If we all tried to manage our lives with those principles in mind, the world would definitely be a better place. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

One of my biggest goals in life is to make our world a better place in whichever way I can! If my attitude and outlook on life can contribute to that, then heck yes!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:46 pm

TiredFrog wrote:

I've been fairly successful with most of these... #4 tends to be a problem though

Fortunately, you have many ladies who can help you be more positive about life and yourself

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:48 pm

Weekend Warrior wrote:

Ruby,
There is a lot of truth and value in your advice list. Thank you very much for sharing it!

It made me think of some other advice I saw once on the internet, so here it is.
Hope you like it, and don't find it to be too silly.

WW

Everything I Need To Know In Life,
I Learned From My Cat

1) Life is hard, then you nap.
2) Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours.
3) When in doubt, cop an attitude.
4) Variety is the spice of life: one day ignore people, the next day annoy them.
5) Climb your way to the top--that's why the drapes are there.
6) Never sleep alone when you can sleep on someone's face.
7) Find your place in the sun--especially if it happens to be on that nice pile of warm, clean laundry.
8.) Make your mark in the world--or at least spray in each corner.
9) When eating out think nothing of sending back your meal twenty or thirty times.
10) If you're not receiving enough attention, try knocking over several expensive antique lamps.
11) Always give generously--a small bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care."
12) When you go out into the world, remember: being placed on a pedestal is a right, not a privilege.

Haha, I like silly! Especially when it involves cats!

Those are two funny. I really like number seven haha.

RubyRae · **Posted:** Tue May 15, 2012 5:48 pm

Jimi Lynn wrote:

those are good ones, I will complain a lot less for sure.

I'm glad, Jimi! Positive vibes!

snickerss · **Joined:** Sat Aug 27, 2011 12:12 am **Posts:** 608

bryan.sailer · **Joined:** Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:04 pm **Posts:** 283

Very inspiring words and very true.

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri May 18, 2012 7:59 am

RBPoore wrote:

It almost sounds like you wrote this for me, Baby Doll. It is a work in progress, but I'm working through those very things right now. I had a good breakthrough last weekend at work where I just gave up trying to control a situation that was not my responsibility. Once I let it go, all the stress and hate for the job just went away, as well as a lot of doubts I had about myself. And it all worked out in the end, anyway. I'm gradually changing my "paradigm" about controlling every situation, to not critiquing every behavior, to live my life for myself, and giving up my excuses. As an example, I bought a treadmill, and am using it.

Maybe my biggest challenge is giving up always being right. I just generally am right. I don't know why, or how, but it seems I can see situations from so many angles that I can usually figure out what is correct, and what is wrong. But you are right, it causes a lot of stress and pain. That will be a big challenge for me, but I know I can do it, one step at a time.

Thank you for sharing this, Ruby. I think it is increadibly deep, and I am finding it helpful. I may use it as a daily reminder to work on myself.
[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

As long as you're trying, that's what counts! Yes, that does sound a breakthrough. I know how much you like control! Just count to ten and breath

I think giving up excuses is the biggest one. Excuses do nothing but hold us back and annoy other people haha. They serve no useful purpose for us what so ever.

It's okay to be right, but not okay to think you always are, or not listen objectively and sincerely to another person's point of view because you are convinced your view is the right one. You're getting better

I've seen a huge change in you just from the year I've known you!

Yes, use it as a daily reminder! I do! It really helps!

xoxoxoxo

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri May 18, 2012 8:01 am

snickerss wrote:

What's in the water over in Portland??? Something got into you from that trip, judging by this thread and the one about ranch life changes! :lol:

Wow, your post was really deep Ruby. It almost combines all the best advice from every major religion and philosopher in the history of the world. With material like that you could even get a gig as a motivational speaker I think :wink:

It seems like your trip (and finishing your semester probably) did a lot of good for you. You seem to have gained a different perspective on life and have become reinvigorated.

Anyway, these are great points! There's so much I need to work on! (ugh)

Haha, it wasn't just Portland! Just having a break and getting to breathe has really helped clear my head and get me back on track! But I do love Portland

Hahaha, according to you I have a lot of future gigs I could get into! Nice to know I have options

I wouldn't say I have gained a different perspective on life; I have always believed these things. I am just being vocal about them now

I feel like our message board could use a little more depth!

xoxoxoxo

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri May 18, 2012 8:03 am

bryan.sailer wrote:

Very inspiring words and very true.

I agree, Bryan

Thanks for reading!

mixierose · **Posted:** Thu May 24, 2012 5:49 pm

I'm going to definitely work on some of those. Beautiful list, Ruby.

barbiegirl · **Joined:** Tue Jul 14, 2009 6:18 am **Posts:** 6173

Your such a smart girl.

Claire_Marshall · **Joined:** Fri Mar 30, 2012 5:10 pm **Posts:** 100

Excellent words to live by Ruby as each one of those 15 statements holds so true to our lives and what can really make or break what we are, who we are, and what we can accomplish. Great post! [smilie=happy.gif]

lighthouse · **Posted:** Thu May 24, 2012 9:47 pm

That might have some very true points, I think I might send a copy to my sister. Good thoughts to live by. Thanks Ruby.

Spartan Fan · **Posted:** Fri May 25, 2012 8:08 am

RubyRae wrote:

A little positiveness and life changing advice in the morning never hurt no one

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

....about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

Ruby,

If I give all those things up, will you "give it up"?

Dave

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri May 25, 2012 9:23 pm

mixierose wrote:

I'm going to definitely work on some of those. Beautiful list, Ruby.

Aw, I'm glad, Mixie! I think everyone could benefit in a positive way if they took the time to change just a few things

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri May 25, 2012 9:24 pm

barbiegirl wrote:

Your such a smart girl.

Thank you, beautiful

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri May 25, 2012 9:25 pm

Claire_Marshall wrote:

Excellent words to live by Ruby as each one of those 15 statements holds so true to our lives and what can really make or break what we are, who we are, and what we can accomplish. Great post! [smilie=happy.gif]

Thank you, Claire! You seem to have a really good head on your shoulders and you definitely have a brain! I love that

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri May 25, 2012 9:26 pm

lighthouse wrote:

That might have some very true points, I think I might send a copy to my sister. Good thoughts to live by. Thanks Ruby.

I printed out a copy and put it in my bathroom! It helps

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri May 25, 2012 9:26 pm

Spartan Fan wrote:

Ruby,

If I give all those things up, will you "give it up"?

Dave

You don't even have to ask, Dave! :twisted:

crumbie · **Posted:** Fri May 25, 2012 11:32 pm

RubyRae wrote:

crumbie wrote:

I can do 14 of those, but I need to be right lol
if I open my mouth to contradict someone... i will not give up til I'm acknowledged as being in the right

One of my past relationships ended because my ex could never be wrong

You should try to work on it, I promise you will be happier

but it makes me sad to be wrong

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu May 31, 2012 8:47 am

crumbie wrote:

RubyRae wrote:

crumbie wrote:

I can do 14 of those, but I need to be right lol
if I open my mouth to contradict someone... i will not give up til I'm acknowledged as being in the right

One of my past relationships ended because my ex could never be wrong

You should try to work on it, I promise you will be happier

but it makes me sad to be wrong

It shouldn't! That's the problem right there!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Fri Jun 29, 2012 4:41 pm

Giving this thread a little bump bump love today. I needed to reread it for some motivation and encouragement and thought that maybe someone else could get something out of it as well

HBKPunk · **Posted:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 8:18 am

While they're all hard to do (except for 15) 9 and 13 may be the hardest! Especially when it comes to music! Why listen to today's stuff when we have so much classic Elton John and Conway Twitty! :mrgreen:

mixierose · **Posted:** Sat Jun 30, 2012 1:59 pm

RubyRae wrote:

mixierose wrote:

I'm going to definitely work on some of those. Beautiful list, Ruby.

Aw, I'm glad, Mixie! I think everyone could benefit in a positive way if they took the time to change just a few things

I couldn't agree more, love!

Eddybear101 · **Joined:** Wed Feb 08, 2012 5:05 pm **Posts:** 0

RubyRae wrote:

Giving this thread a little bump bump love today. I needed to reread it for some motivation and encouragement and thought that maybe someone else could get something out of it as well

Thank you Ruby for posting this again. I think more people should live by these. On #8 I know a few people who do just this & someday they may ask themselves where did all my friends go.

[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

Eddybear

stratocaster · **Joined:** Sat Jan 22, 2011 6:09 pm **Posts:** 198

I love that you care about people Ruby. It permeates through all that you do.
As you know, numbers 4, 5 and 9 are my sore spots. I have come a long way, but still have room for a lot of improvement. I have been meditating and doing breath exercises. Also looking forward to my 2nd support group meeting (on time lol). Thanks for being a positive influence in my life Ruby. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

gillians · **Posted:** Mon Jul 02, 2012 9:11 am

I can't thank you enough for this post. It is one of most inspiring reads I have come across and for me personally, it could not have come at a better time. I am trying to be better with most of them that I struggle with and it's nice to know I am not the only one. Really lovely post. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

Miss Skye · **Posted:** Mon Jul 02, 2012 5:04 pm

Give up on labels I love it. Even though its not refering to designer lables I may try to use it in that context i may save few dollars. Thanks Ruby for the postitve post

Docrocker · **Posted:** Mon Jul 02, 2012 5:28 pm

Very insightful. The world would definitely be better!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:11 pm

HBKPunk wrote:

While they're all hard to do (except for 15) 9 and 13 may be the hardest! Especially when it comes to music! Why listen to today's stuff when we have so much classic Elton John and Conway Twitty! :mrgreen:

Living in the past is never a good thing, and you should embrace change

You will never know of anything better than what you currently have if you never want to bring change to your life.

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:11 pm

Eddybear101 wrote:

RubyRae wrote:

Giving this thread a little bump bump love today. I needed to reread it for some motivation and encouragement and thought that maybe someone else could get something out of it as well

Thank you Ruby for posting this again. I think more people should live by these. On #8 I know a few people who do just this & someday they may ask themselves where did all my friends go.

[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

Eddybear

Aw, you're very welcome! I'm glad that you and others have gotten something out of it. I know it's helped me on rough days!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:12 pm

stratocaster wrote:

I love that you care about people Ruby. It permeates through all that you do.
As you know, numbers 4, 5 and 9 are my sore spots. I have come a long way, but still have room for a lot of improvement. I have been meditating and doing breath exercises. Also looking forward to my 2nd support group meeting (on time lol). Thanks for being a positive influence in my life Ruby. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

Aw

You have come a very long way! I am glad things are improving for you, though

Keep on keepin' on, sweets!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:13 pm

gillians wrote:

I can't thank you enough for this post. It is one of most inspiring reads I have come across and for me personally, it could not have come at a better time. I am trying to be better with most of them that I struggle with and it's nice to know I am not the only one. Really lovely post. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

Awwww, thank you, Sloan!

You are definitely not the only one! Me and many others out there struggle with some of these things.

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:14 pm

sarai wrote:

LOVE THIS POST!!!! THANKS FOR SHARING!!!

Thank you, Sarai!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:15 pm

Miss Skye wrote:

Give up on labels I love it. Even though its not refering to designer lables I may try to use it in that context i may save few dollars. Thanks Ruby for the postitve post

Haha, you would definitely save some money! Overly priced designer labels are a bit overrated for sure :/

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:16 pm

Docrocker wrote:

Very insightful. The world would definitely be better!

"Be the change you wish to see"

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Aug 02, 2012 2:16 pm

camiparker wrote:

Give up carbs... :mrgreen:

I love carbs!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Thu Oct 11, 2012 10:50 pm

I have this posted in my house and I am also going to print it out, frame it, and hang it at my room at the ranch! Positivity is never a bad thing!

Ms. Raven Lee · **Posted:** Thu Oct 11, 2012 11:00 pm

This is a great post Ruby. This should be a public service announcement to all. Just being able to to give up one of the things on this list, would probally extend your life expectancy be a couple of years. I think I'm going to print this off for myself.

jadecapri · **Posted:** Fri Oct 12, 2012 5:10 pm

This is really a fantastic list and great reminder that we are always working on ourselves and to remember so is everyone else. Thanks, ruby!

jenniferbanks · **Joined:** Thu Oct 13, 2011 1:23 pm **Posts:** 230

Sounds like a good idea

[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

RubyRae wrote:

A little positiveness and life changing advice in the morning never hurt no one

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question:

“Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

....about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.

“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open.

“The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.

“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

Aelfwine · **Joined:** Wed May 23, 2012 6:44 am **Posts:** 148

I don't have to be right, but I am more comfortable with people who can accept that I disagree with them about things. I do well with someone if we can argue about ideas without ever getting angry or personal. I actually enjoy that. However, I try to stay open to the possibility that I might be wrong.

"Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance, 1841

One of my favorite quotes.

dawnlrs · **Joined:** Tue Nov 29, 2011 8:14 am **Posts:** 828

I sure could give up a few of those...

jadecapri · **Posted:** Mon Oct 15, 2012 12:27 pm

Aelfwine wrote:

I don't have to be right, but I am more comfortable with people who can accept that I disagree with them about things. I do well with someone if we can argue about ideas without ever getting angry or personal. I actually enjoy that. However, I try to stay open to the possibility that I might be wrong.

"Speak what you think today in hard words and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict every thing you said today."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance, 1841

One of my favorite quotes.

Very nice quote, Aelfwine, and so true!

sophia sun · **Posted:** Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:45 pm

It!s very interested list.

Thank you Ruby !!

[smilie=hot over you.gif]

kimberlylove · **Posted:** Tue Oct 23, 2012 3:51 pm

Wow, this is really a great thread, Ruby. There are definitely some things on the list that I personally need to work on and it is a great reminder that there is always room for improvement.

CrystalJon · **Posted:** Tue Oct 23, 2012 11:09 pm

Awesome post Ruby...I definately have some things on there I should work harder at.

Thank you very much for sharing this with us [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

jadecapri · **Posted:** Sat Dec 01, 2012 12:44 pm

I thought of this post when I read this. I posted on my Daily Quotes thread as well. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

RubyRae · **Posted:** Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:06 pm

Ms. Raven Lee wrote:

This is a great post Ruby. This should be a public service announcement to all. Just being able to to give up one of the things on this list, would probally extend your life expectancy be a couple of years. I think I'm going to print this off for myself.

Thank you, Raven! I read it every so often and it gives me positive vibes and makes me want to be better

Ihope it can do that for other people as well!

RubyRae · **Posted:** Sat Dec 01, 2012 1:07 pm

jadecapri wrote:

This is really a fantastic list and great reminder that we are always working on ourselves and to remember so is everyone else. Thanks, ruby!

Glad you like it!

NRob71 · **Posted:** Sat Dec 01, 2012 3:23 pm

#4 and #15 are hardest for me, #5, #8, and #14 also need work

Ruby, I like your idea of printing this out and posting it someplace conspicuous - maybe doing that will help me make progress on these.

jadecapri · **Posted:** Tue Dec 18, 2012 1:19 am

RubyRae wrote:

jadecapri wrote:

This is really a fantastic list and great reminder that we are always working on ourselves and to remember so is everyone else. Thanks, ruby!

Glad you like it!

My pleasure [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

crumbie · **Posted:** Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:40 am

I still think I need to be right.... all the time :mrgreen:
after all, it's when I'm the most happy haha :twisted:

jadecapri · **Posted:** Tue Dec 18, 2012 11:50 am

crumbie wrote:

I still think I need to be right.... all the time :mrgreen:

after all, it's when I'm the most happy haha :twisted:

Are you reading my mind?

crumbie · **Posted:** Tue Dec 18, 2012 12:19 pm

jadecapri wrote:

crumbie wrote:

I still think I need to be right.... all the time :mrgreen:
after all, it's when I'm the most happy haha :twisted:

Are you reading my mind?

I'm trying to

jadecapri · **Posted:** Tue Dec 18, 2012 12:48 pm

crumbie wrote:

jadecapri wrote:

crumbie wrote:

I still think I need to be right.... all the time :mrgreen:

after all, it's when I'm the most happy haha :twisted:

Are you reading my mind?

I'm trying to

Good job, now talking about the thread, I always enjoy reading nice and positive things even though it might take a while for me to use it for my self.

willowlove · **Posted:** Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:01 pm

Great advice Ruby. I especially like number 14.

maydaymayday · **Posted:** Tue Dec 18, 2012 7:15 pm

Great post Ruby. I am constantly amazed at how thoughtful and intelligent you are. You break every stereotype of your profession. However, I would also like to add that some of these things are given up too easily by many people and for some people some of these items should be 'Things you should start doing to be Happy!'

Batman123 · **Posted:** Thu Dec 27, 2012 10:31 am

I love this! I'm going to print it out and read it everyday. It's like you boiled down a dozen self help books into something easy to digest. I hope I get to meet you someday so I can give you a big hug!!!!!
[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

jadecapri · **Posted:** Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:14 pm

This is a very inspiring post. A girl that is sexy and can inspire you? I take it any time [smilie=i love you1.gif]

jadecapri · **Posted:** Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:16 pm

This is a very inspiring post. A girl that is sexy and can inspire you? I take it any time [smilie=i love you1.gif]

jadecapri · **Posted:** Fri Dec 28, 2012 9:16 pm

This is a very inspiring post. A girl that is sexy and can inspire you? I take it any time [smilie=i love you1.gif]

RubyRae · **Posted:** Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:13 am

NRob71 wrote:

#4 and #15 are hardest for me, #5, #8, and #14 also need work

Ruby, I like your idea of printing this out and posting it someplace conspicuous - maybe doing that will help me make progress on these.

Yes! If you see it more often it will get stuck in your head and progress will follow

RubyRae · **Posted:** Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:13 am

crumbie wrote:

I still think I need to be right.... all the time :mrgreen:

after all, it's when I'm the most happy haha :twisted:

Lol, being more open-minded to other ways of thinking via other people's opinions is not a bad thing

RubyRae · **Posted:** Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:14 am

willowlove wrote:

Great advice Ruby. I especially like number 14.

Thanks, Willow

I hope this helps out people! I know it has helped me.

RubyRae · **Posted:** Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:15 am

maydaymayday wrote:

Great post Ruby. I am constantly amazed at how thoughtful and intelligent you are. You break every stereotype of your profession. However, I would also like to add that some of these things are given up too easily by many people and for some people some of these items should be 'Things you should start doing to be Happy!'

Awww, thank you, mayday! I'm on saint, but I do think I'm a good person, or at least I try to be!

xoxoxo

RubyRae · **Posted:** Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:16 am

Batman123 wrote:

I love this! I'm going to print it out and read it everyday. It's like you boiled down a dozen self help books into something easy to digest. I hope I get to meet you someday so I can give you a big hug!!!!!
[smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

I hope to meet you someday, too, to give you more than just a hug!

califunguy · **Joined:** Wed Dec 26, 2012 7:43 pm **Posts:** 13

Damn, this is actually really thoughtful and insightful. Like, I would totally "share" if this were Facebook.

Gotta admit, I feel like every item on this list is something I'm guilty of. In fact, I'd say the pattern of behavior described here kind of defines me. I've even thought about it in the past and wondered if maybe "myself" really is that guy who just always has to be right, be in control, impress others, and who never lets go of anything. So, when people always advise me to "be myself," I respond by amping up those neuroses. Probably not how it's supposed to work! :roll:

But thanks, Ruby!

jadecapri · **Posted:** Sun Mar 10, 2013 2:48 pm

califunguy wrote:

Damn, this is actually really thoughtful and insightful. Like, I would totally "share" if this were Facebook.

Gotta admit, I feel like every item on this list is something I'm guilty of. In fact, I'd say the pattern of behavior described here kind of defines me. I've even thought about it in the past and wondered if maybe "myself" really is that guy who just always has to be right, be in control, impress others, and who never lets go of anything. So, when people always advise me to "be myself," I respond by amping up those neuroses. Probably not how it's supposed to work! :roll:

But thanks, Ruby!

I feel the same about sharing it on FB. About being guilty of it, aren't we all? But posts like this remind us to take a break and reflect. [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

graciegraves · **Joined:** Thu Jun 07, 2012 11:57 am **Posts:** 1487

Great post! I LOVE THIS!!!

Riley Sapphire · **Posted:** Sun Apr 21, 2013 7:45 pm

SO much wisdom there, Ruby...thanks for posting.