MOREPLAY



The postcoital acitivities that are performed after sex but resemble foreplay, may lead to more sex.

Enclownter - A brief, usually unpleasant, encounter with a clown

Arrow-waster - One who does not immediately proceed when a left-turn arrow flashes green; preventing following motorists from making it through on the light.

OVERJACULATION


When you masturbate so much that when you try to do so again, all that comes out is a puff of smoke; a general fatigue of the genitals.

PISSHAP


A mishap generally involving the mass consumption of alcohol and a misdirection of urine to an area other than the toilet. This usually occurs as the result of an alcoholic stupor.

Pseudonymble - The art of juggling multiple online personalities and screen names; ability to nimbly juggle many pseudonyms.

Monkey sugar


Monkey sugar is a (rather funny) way of saying that something is good, or all right.

The pictures on rotten.com aren't monkey sugar. However, Kamel Reds are very monkey sugar.

party pressure


When you are invited to a party or event and don't really feel like going, but you feel some sort of obligation to attend. Like peer pressure, but related specifically to going to a party.

Yeah, I don't really feel like going to John's party, I'm sooooo tired... but I told everyone I would be there, so I'll probably surrender to party

FUCKABATION


Another word for masturbation.

Absofugginnada - Response to whats up/happening - "Absolutely f**king nothing"

CHAIRDROBE


The art of piling clothes on a chair to be used in place of a closet or dresser. If a chair is not available one can always defer to a
floordrobe.

Super Bowel


A raucous bowel movement experienced the day after the Super Bowl due to consumption of large amounts of chili, hot wings, and beer.

Dave, I had a Super Bowel this morning... no more buffalo wing hot sauce for me.

NUT HUGGER



Really tight jeans worn by a man.

Comatoasty - Describing something in a lethargic, sleepy, or unconscious state of mind brought on by an large amounts of warmth. Often, this state is intensified by the use of blankets or by enjoying a large fire.

textrovert

1. One who feels an increased sense of bravery over texting, as opposed to in person.

2. One who will often only say what they really feel over text messages.

Kelly: "So how'd the conversation go with Bill last night?"

Wendy: "Ah he's such a textrovert. We didn't make any progress until I went home and he spilled his guts over texts."

SPORKING

The act of spooning with the addition of an erection.

garriage


1. The formal union of two people who are of the same gender in a consensual relationship, typically recognized by society. Also described as same-sex marriage and gay marriage.

The two men had been seeing each other for 5 years and engaged for 9 months before they decided to make their relationship permanent by garriage.

SOMEBODY'S GIRL SYNDROME


When a really hot chick has trouble getting dates because guys all assume she already has a boyfriend and are scared to approach her....

TONGUE TYPO


What happens when you know perfectly well what you want to say but it comes out wrong.

Cleavalicious







when a woman looks beautiful in her new blouse that shows a little bit of cleavage.

"This over here is cleavalicious" spoken by a man with expressive aphasia post stroke.

Puppetophilia - The use of life-like or life-size dolls for masturbation .

EAT-OUT

When a girl spreads her legs for a guy or girl. as the giver, you should then gently tease the girl with your tounge and fingers by tracing all over the inside of her thighs and near and around her pussy. then place your mouth atop the girls sweet pussy lips and spread them with your tounge. placing your mouth over the opening to her girl, kiss her like you would on her mouth and gently push your tounge down into her sweet, wet girl. continue to tounge fuck her until she bucks up towards you from pleasure. gently pull your tounge out and lick around but not on her clit. get your fingers wet from her pussy and gently rub the top of her clit until its erect and hard. slide your tounge over the top of her clit and all around until she moans. make your mouth into the shape of an "O" overtop of her clit and suck on it while fucking her in her girl with your fingers or a vibrator/dildo/ until she cums.

Introdouche


The way in which a douchebag would go about introducing his/herself. Bragging about their meaningless accomplishments in an attempt to impress you.

Chris: Watch this, John's about to introdouche himself to Carol.

John (Speaking to Carol) : "Nice to meet you, John's the name. Nice rack. Think I met you one time at the bowling party. I won three times."

Carol: "Thanks for introdouching yourself."

valentines day


A Pointless and worthless day invented by Hersheys Confectionary Co and Joining forces with Teleflora Florists and Corbans Wine Makers just so they can profit out of Wine, Cholocates and Flowers, while single people suffer at the clutches of the hands of this evil and corrupt capitalist-orientated day that is not even a fucking holiday period.

Valentines Day should be banned and all those celebrating it shot.

VAG FLASH


When a female forgets to zip her pants zipper by the Crotch

Faux-flatulance - The fart-like noise a chair makes while moving or sitting on it, causing one's friends to accuse one of farting no matter how many times one says it was the chair.

let me know how that works out for you



the easiest way to end an argument when your opponent relays their intentions to do something that you do not agree with.

(online or in text msg, etc)
"I have to go shopping"
'I shop online, you must have tons of time on your hands. it's Christmas and the stores are packed!'
"The traffic here is fine."
'I thought it was snowing there.'
"I have snow tires! duh."
'You know, there are websites that sell things much cheaper.'
"But there is a sale going on at my favorite place!"
'fine. let me know how that works out for you.'

Best way to diffuse (yep, this is trolling!): "U mad?"

Grammatically Challanged



Someone who uses terrible punctuation and couldn't spell if their life depended on it. You are either grammatically challanged by nature, or you have been exposed to txt talkers too long.

my inglish teecher sez dat im inprooving

(My English teacher says that I'm improving.)

6 munce ago i culdnt eevn spel gradjewut, now I are one. LOL

i dids not git pas the fufth gride

DRUNKEN IMMUNITY


Complete disregard on the part of a friend, girlfriend or ex-girlfriend for any minor stupid thing you said or did while drunk (i.e. drunk texting, drunk calling, drunken Facebook status updates, drunken confession, ETC).

Presidents Day




A holiday that has no real reason other than being an excuse for furniture and automotive dealers to have huge sales, and make Americans that don't know anything about their government feel stupid.

Example One: It's Presidents Day, so come on down and fork over alot of money for this used car...

Example Two:

Dumb Person: Hey, Happy Pres. Day, man!

Smart Person: Yeah...okay. Hey, do you know who the first five presidents were?

DP: Uh...Washington, Jefferson...Lincoln.

SP: Exactly.

Wuzgonna - The intention to complete a task prior to thinking of an excuse or reason not to complete said task.

Example: I wuzgonna pay you but I had to buy beer instead!

BI- KNOCKERS

Binoculars or other viewing devices used to ogle fine young boobies.

Burgacide - When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

Daily Fail



A thread posted by a troll on a message board that is anti-minority with the sole source being a link to a story in the scaremongering rag the Daily Mail (or the Daily Express or The Sun) that invariably turns out to be completely innocent and harmless.

Troll: "Muslim immigrants are eating BRITISH hamsters!!!!!! dailymail.co.uk/poopoo/9454/lies"
Member: "Oh two Daily Fails in one day - well done."

WEBTROVERT


Someone who is a shy introvert in real life, but turns into a full-on extroverted party animal on Internet forums and social sites.

CONDOMPLATE


To contemplate whether or not a condom is needed in the heat of a sexual act.

carthritis


Condition suffered by a car, where seemingly painful inflammation and stiffness of the joints can cause groaning in parts of the car that normally make no noise,

It's 2 degrees outside. My car started, but when I turn the wheel, there is this crunchy, groaning sound. I think my car may have carthritis.

EMAIL BAIL


Using email to back out or ditch on plans, dates and even relationships.

Cell Friend
noun. an individual that one has so little real life contact with that you actually call/text this person more than any other form of communication.

John: So how is Mark doing?
Tom: Not sure we've become such Cell Friends that I have to assume he's doing well.

DRY HUMPING


Dry humping is the process of two people repeatedly moving up and down and back and forth on top of each other fully clothed.

BUSINESS CASUALITY

When someone wears business casual and it looks horrible.

VITAMIN PEE


Anything that is likely to make a person pee a lot.

NAMENESIA

Remember everything about a person ... except their name.

JACK SH#T

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of
Knee-deep Schitt, Inc.
Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and they had 6 children: Holie Schitt, The twins; Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt and Bull Schitt.
Jack and Noe divorced. Noe later married Mr. Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they had Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt married the Happens
brothers in a dual ceremony.
The Schitt-Happens children are Dawg, Byrd and Horse. Bull Schitt left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his new bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now, when someone say's you don't know Jack Schitt, you can correct them.

pocket pool


To stick your hand in your pocket and scratch your balls.

"Hey, man, that girl's lookin' at you -- you better stop playin' pocket pool!"

DISH ENVY


Sudden, intense longing and regret derived from watching a particularly appetizing dish being delivered to a nearby table, and realizing that one has made an inferior menu selection.

Business Casualty




When someone wears business casual and it looks horrible.

The long dressy skirt and polo didn't look good together, it was a business casualty and tucking it in didn't make it look any better.

RAINBOW PARTY




A type of party where several girls wear a different color of lipstick then each proceeds to give one or more guys a blow job. The multiple of colors left on each guy's penis resembles a rainbow

Elateabated = Being happy after masterbating : )

401KO'd


When something drastic happens in your life that causes you to take a serious financial loss. Economic downturn on a personal level.

Dude 1: Hey, we going to pool our money for those season tickets?

Dude 2: I can't man, I took a paycut and totally got 401KO'd.

Localized

This is where a person's personality is so weak that it actually changes to the same as those around them.

John moved to New York and became so totally localized that he quit rooting for his once beloved Seattle Mariners.

get a kennel



A nice way to tell someone that their incessant display of affection for their dog or cat is causing you embarrassment as one who is forced to watch such display

You and that dog have been slobbering on each other for 10 minutes. Get a kennel!

Reality Show Off

A reality show person who changes behavior, usually more obnoxious, when the cameras are rolling.

John is always trying to be a bad ass when the cameras are rolling on that show. He's really just a wuss. What a reality show off.

REACHAROUND


The process of, while penetrating a partner from behind (Either anally or vaginally), reaching around and playing with his/her genitalia.

Naked burglar





One who burgles houses, or steals from other places, naked.

Sometimes done to avoid leaving evidence, but mainly just for the thrill of it.

Jack the naked burglar broke into the Smith's house, stole money and jewellery, had a wank and left.

totes



(abbreviation) stands for totally.

-Do you agree with me?
-totes.

Steak and Blowjob Day



Celebrated on March 14th, Steak and Blowjob Day is a holiday for men, celebrated the month after Valentine's Day -- a holiday for women.

The idea is simple: no cards, flowers, candy or other whimsical gifts. Ladies (and gay men), you simply bestow your partner with a steak and a blowjob. Not necessarily in that order.

Dave: "Hey Bob, what did Sally get you for Steak and Blowjob Day?"

Bob: "Well Dave, that would be a big juicy steak, and a big juicy blowjob."

Textaphrenia

A disease found in teens, in which they have heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message..

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- is the fear of long words.

AMBISEXTROUS

Having the ability to masturbate successfully with both hands.

cock 'n balled

When someone draws a penis and testes, dick and scrote, or cock and balls on a possession of yours, most typically a car. The 'drawing' can be birthed from a finger wiping through dirt, sharpie marker, DNA, or anything else that would commonly be regarded as hilarious.

After a tremendous day of shredding on the mountain we were ready to drive over to the bar. But some poopoo from Texas had parked like a dumbass and we were unable to leave. So I cock 'n balled his car with reckless abandon and we drank locally instead.

Brotox



Noun, botox when used on a straight male, usually something he doesn't want you to know about.

Some men use to prevent or erase wrinkles, while others use it to improve their impassive poker face.

"Aaron got brotox and now he can't move his eyebrows"

GOOGLE TIC


The uncontrollable urge to conduct a Google search on any and every question, thought, concept, word or name that comes to mind, including new acquaintances, products and companies.

PUTT BUNNY


a woman who goes to golf courses for the sole purpose of fucking one of the players.

Rosetta Stoned



One who gets so high that he or she begins to speak in a foreign language.

Beth got so Rosetta Stoned last night she could effectively communicate with the cab driver!

turkish elephant



When a man pulls his penis out of his zipper, and then pulls his pockets out of his pants and flaps them.

John asked Mary if she wanted to feed his turkish elephant a peanut. Boy was Mary surprised to see his turkish elephant.

ZACHIN'


The action of fucking up big time.

Turds With Friends

Playing the popular online game Words With Friends....while going to the bathroom.

Everytime I go to the bathroom, I bring my cell phone so I can catch up on my Turds with Friends games.

GABBLEJACKER


One who talks continously while masturbating, either oneself or others.

phone-yawn



The act of taking out a cell phone from one's pocket or purse, resulting in other people in the vicinity taking out and checking their phones as well.

As Harriet pulled her cell from her pocket to check for new text messages, her circle of friends phone-yawned, pulling out and checking their phones too. Not Becky; she lost her phone at the club the night before.

CUBIEPUBIE




The random hairs that mysteriously wind up under your keyboard.

zing



An interjection commonly used after making a witty joke at someone else's expense while they are present.

Person 1: Your room smells like ass.
Person 2: That's because you're in it. ZING!

Haagan dazed


Eating tubs of random haagen dazs ice cream all night long and become an ice cream zombie the next morn.

Annidivorcory




The anniversary of one long over due divorce to a no good piece of poopoo spouse, for any reason. Free from marrigae, end to tiriny of a spouse, end of hell on earth, time to party, regaining of ones life

Tonight I celabrate my 1 year "Annidivorcory"

iamawesome.com

A sh$%ty waste of a domain name.

HORNY ANGEL




A sexual Position where a woman is being double penetrated in a cowgirl position. While at the same time she is giving two guys hand jobs and one guy a blowjob.

TABBYWHACKER


The male genitalia (penis) when in contact by any means of the female genitalia (vagina).

'Tabby wacker': 'wacker' perhaps meaning the 'penis', and 'tabby' an alternative word for 'vagina' and perhaps from 'pussy(cat/tabby cat)' (?)

FUZZY MITTENS


A man completely inserts both of his hands (up to the wrist)into a womans vagina.

Practical Friday


The result of a shortened school week, such as a four day or three day week. The day before the end of the short week is practical Friday. If the week ends Wednesday, Wednesday is practical Friday.

Guy: Wanna hang out tonight?
Girl: I can't, it's Wednesday
Guy: yeah we can! It's practical Friday!
Girl: Ohh... um I had plans.

READELETE


Reading a text, email, or any other type of online message and deleting it without replying

This means that you obviously don't want to have any type of communication with who/whatever sent you the message.

BOOBAPALOOZA

When a sexually aroused person motorboats them SOBs...

gelmet




(noun)The helmet-like hairdo caused by the use of an excessive amount of (typically men's) hair gel.

Check out Tom's gelmet - he's definitely not getting any play tonight!

longversation



The quality of a conversation that is both long and rambling, without a fixed purpose and lacking in concision. Generally used in a negative sense.

The other day, Julia and I had such a longversation. I thought I could never leave!

NUBBJOB

When an amputee inserts an incomplete limb into an anus or vagina, and uses a repeated thrust motion to cause sexual stimulation.

taxable




if someone meets your personal criteria for having sex with, he or she is 'taxable.'

I think he is so sexy, definitely taxable!

EARBOOB


When a woman leans down to hug a young lad or a seated male, his head often turns to the side in expectation of the embrace. The resultant contact is usually ear-to-boob, hence, earboob.

FUCKABATION


Another word for masturbation.

Blandiloquent: Speaking in a flattering manner

ORAL ART


The art form of performing oral sex.