that is very interesting to look at it like that, i used to do that all the time

Now that you say something about it I definitly say we a lot... hmmmmm...

RIGHT!!!

So when are "we" gonna meet you?

The Dos & Don’ts For Your Online Dating Profile Photo

If we’re to believe the marketing geniuses at Match.com, one in five couples now meets online. We’ve been looking, and dang, have we seen some messed up profile pictures. Listen, it’s sad but true, but your online dating profile pic can make the difference between somebody asking you out or moving right along. We’re superficial, we know these things and are guilty of passing on perfectly nice guys because they looked stanky in their pics. As such, we’ve come up with a simple list of dos and don’ts for both men and women to follow when selecting their all-important profile images. These suggestions have been culled with the help of our picky dude friends who have looked at countless online profiles, too, so they know what they’re talking about.


Here we go

FOR GUYS

DON’T include photos of yourself with more attractive friends. Actually, try not to include pictures of yourself with friends, period. It just confuses us. You don’t want us inquiring after your friend Steve do you?

Great tips Tamela, tons of potential for success as well as flaming out

Totally

5 Tips for women when dating guys in the year 2012:


1. Do not make your guy feel like you are 'penciling him in'! If you like someone enough to get to the point of dating them, DON'T list all the things you are involved with that prevents you from seeing us regularly. We KNOW that your friends and family are bigger priorities than us in the beginning but if you won't move/skip a gym appointment to see us, how is that supposed to make us feel?

Do's and Dont's for your online Dating Profile (female edition);

Don't include in your profile the word: independent

We KNOW you are independent. By adding this to your profile you are basically throwing up a big sign saying: "I don't need you but I will include you in my life if you fit well."



[quote="tamelalee"]The Dos & Don’ts For Your Online Dating Profile Photo

If we’re to believe the marketing geniuses at Match.com, one in five couples now meets online. We’ve been looking, and dang, have we seen some messed up profile pictures. Listen, it’s sad but true, but your online dating profile pic can make the difference between somebody asking you out or moving right along. We’re superficial, we know these things and are guilty of passing on perfectly nice guys because they looked stanky in their pics. As such, we’ve come up with a simple list of dos and don’ts for both men and women to follow when selecting their all-important profile images. These suggestions have been culled with the help of our picky dude friends who have looked at countless online profiles, too, so they know what they’re talking about.

We WANT you.....I thought that was a good thing (-:

FOR GIRLS (Online Dating)

DON’T include a “quirky” photo of yourself with a fake mustache, or a mustache tattoo, or a mustache hat, or just no mustaches. Apparently this is a thing that lots of girls do — it must be the International Symbol for Manic Pixie Dream Girl or something. Just … don’t.

Thanks Tamela! Very useful advice. This is one time that me not having friends comes in really handy.

U have a lot friends babe..but hot girls...US!

FOR GUYS (Online Dating advice)



DO include pictures of yourself with your pets — if they happen to be cuddly puppies or kittens. But probably leave the animal pics out if you happen to be a herpetologist or rat hoarder or something.

DON’T use a professional headshot. The only people who really want to date struggling actors are … nobody.

DON’T lead with your Halloween costume. We don’t know you. We don’t know if you as a giant banana is your Halloween look or just your average Tuesday.

So So true a lot of men especially younger ones out there should commit these rules to memory

Totally

Online Dating For Girls

DON’T post a zillion pictures of yourself in a bikini — unless you’re looking to attract the type of juicehead dudes who are looking for girls who spend the majority of their days in bikinis. You reap what you sow — especially when it comes to online profile photos.

DO show a pic of what you look on the day-to-day. He’s going to find out anyway, and most guys would rather deal with reality than with some totally fake version of you.

DON’T post a prom pic, or some weird formal event picture. Are you a princess? No, you’re not, and he’s not going to expect to see you dolled up like one everyday. Unless you are a princess, in which case, ignore this point and commence with the tiara.

So, since I'm not a girl, can I wear a tiara in my pictures?

Yes!

You definitly look hot in a tiara
Yes skip the garlic or you'll ward off more then vampires

I'm a sucker for a guy who loves his pets!

FOR GUYS (Online Dating advice)

DO include pics of yourself doing cool stuff. But not, like, 10 pictures of you playing in a band. Also, most girls over the age of 23 aren’t trying to get with a dude in a band.

DO remember that girls pay a lot of attention to stuff like shoes — things that you probably don’t really think about. Wear good shoes in your picture.

DO include at least one mostly full body pic, otherwise we’re going to assume you’re hiding a tumor, or a tail or a bizarrely chubby leg.

First date with the lovely, sexy and beautiful, Tamela, bring these.
It's a good start.

Love ya Tamela.

OMG so beautiful!!!!!!!! thank u!!!! xoxoxoxox U r such a romantic!

Your welcome, Tamela darlin. I am half french & half American, So, I guess my french side is more dominant hehe.

... OR MAN BOOBS!

I like to FRENCH!!

I like MOOBS too!

You're too funny! I like you's better, especially since they're boobs, not moobs!

Ye..these are def boobs lol

It is certainly Fun Dating Miss Tamela Lee.

Two VIP GFE parties and an Overnight Outdate so far.

Tamela is the perfect girl friend who is really into all of the GFE activities with her partner.

Go for it all with Miss Tamela Lee.

Thanks honey Cant wait for our next one

your boobs look so amazing Total looking forward to spending night with you in MAY

Everything about Miss Tamela Lee is amazing. She is quite the lady.

I can testify that you will have a very good (fun, sexy, hot) time with Tamela during an overnight.

Me to! Its going to be lots of fun

Hehe thanks babe! Your pretty awesome yourself

I agree Harold, Tamela Lee is amazing. I can testify that even much shorter, less than an hour parties with Tamela are great (fun, sexy, hot, etc.) and are well worth it. The "quality" of Tamela's parties never goes down and is always at a high level, even though the amount of time might be shorter than in a longer party.

I'm not sure why I posted this comment. I'm spontaneous sometimes and just felt like saying something nice about one of my favorite ranch ladies, Tamela Lee.

Isurfer:

Most of the board members on here know that you are one of the good guys who always speaks the truth.

Living locally, you have the opportunity for frequent interaction with all of the ladies.

Everyone knows and is a friend to Isurfer as he is to them.

I appreciate the feedback and so glad its all positive
No matter how long the party I want it to be the best experience possible!

Dating Don’ts: 10 Things You Should Never Say To A Man In Bed

Your man wants to believe he’s Superman, especially when it comes to his performance in the bedroom. When it comes to spicing things up and communicating your sex needs, get the conversation going in the right direction — UP! — by avoiding these specifics statements that make only make your stud feel like a dud…

1. “You’ve never gotten me off.” Blaming him for your orgasmic difficulties will leave your superhero feeling like a complete zero. The truth is 33-50 percent of women experience orgasm infrequently and 10- 15 percent of us have never even reached the “Big O.” Instead, come up with a list of ways he could make you more comfortable in the boudoir (my personal favorite is a full body massage). Many of our orgasmic problems come from anxiety and worry.

2. “I faked it.” The truth is out! Research has found that 80 percent of women fake orgasm during intercourse at least half of the time, but he definitely does not want to think that you are a part of that statistic. How about you stop faking it altogether and work together on getting there for real?

3. “Are you done already?” Although he may want to last forever, it is not always that easy. Telling him he should last longer will only make him anxious next time, which can lead to premature ejaculation or turn him into Mr. Softee. If he’s done before you are, have him finish you off another way. And if it becomes a recurring issue? It’s time to talk.

4. “It could be bigger.” The biggest thing on his mind is if his member measures up. Never belittle the little, medium or big man. There’s nothing he can do about the junk in his trunks.

5. “You never care about my needs.” Chances are you are a priority, as most men rate their sexual experience highly when they believe they have completely pleased their partner. If your needs aren’t being met, be sure you’ve communicated them clearly. If he genuinely does not care about your needs, don’t waste your breath telling him — cut and run, sister.

6. “My ex did ____ better.” Unless you’re trying to break up with him in the meanest way possible, why? Why would you say this? No.

7. “I’m bored.” Maybe it’s time to try something different, but this statement will only make him believe that you are tired of him and want someone new.

8. “I’d rather use a toy.” Yes, toys can be a lot of fun to play with and you should absolutely experiment with them in the sack, but no one — man or woman – wants to play second fiddle to a battery operated device.

9. “I was with someone else yesterday.” He may not expect you to be the Virgin Queen, but some information is better left unsaid.

10. “Do you think I’m fat?” There is no worse place to deal with self-esteem or body image issues than the sack. He wants you to feel sexy, wanted and beautiful when you are about to get it on — and you should feel like the goddess you are, regardless of any cellulite you have on your butt. Deal with your insecurities at another time or the bad sex that follows will give you even more to worry about.

I tried the whole online dating thing once or twice. Never worked for me. I did everything right. Just no one was interested. I bet I sent about 200 messages to women too. Oh well. Que cera! Probably for the best I didn't end up with someone off the net.

Plus its really dangerous..lots of scams goin on )-:

Yes there are. Lots and lots of scams. Besides, you, Stacy, Willow, and Jade weren't any of the girls I could date. hehe

Awe

There is a lot of really good dating information in this thread and of course interesting input from our board members. It makes for some great reading. Thanks Tamela!

Thanks for reading Ruby

Another good tip for dating someone you've met online is don't just re-hash your profile in the conversation you have with them on your first date. Consider that they're smart enough to have read your profile....ergo don't put too much in your profile so that you have something left to talk about.

Also don't get too serious with the conversation, local interests/topics and perhaps relevant news but avoid the "heavy" topics, since it tends to scare people off or give the wrong impression of being desperate.

Awesome pointers Sharky

5 Ways To Get Back To Dating Basics


1. Phone calls. Now that I’ve gotten over my phone phobia, I think I’m going to try to use it more often. Instead of sending a “just wanted to say hi” text or email, I think I will pick up the phone and do it. Even if I don’t have two hours and 49 minutes to shoot the poopoo, It’s nice just to hear the voice of the person you like. Oh, and I think I’ll stop declaring myself “not a phone person.” I’m sure I’ve discouraged many a phone call from a suitor without even knowing it. Hello dating world, I AM NOW A PHONE PERSON. Call me!

2. Planning fun dates. I am a fan of dinner and drinks. That’s really never going to change. But I’d love to shake it up a little with some fun activities. A jazz brunch. A bike ride. A trip to a French cafe … with berets. FUN things. That have a certain innocence. That allow you to try new things in the presence of a new person. How did I manage to forget about that?

3. Waiting. I’m not just talking about “doing sex,” as Deena from “Jersey Shore” would say. I’m talking about general patience when it comes to getting to know someone new. When I was younger, there was never any rush. I would waste weeks listening to records or playing Ouija board, kissing and holding hands with a guy, before I even considered whether or not I would want him to be my boyfriend. I think just because I am older and have a clearer idea of what I’m looking for, I rush. But there’s really no need. I’ve waited this long. What difference will a month make? I’m going to give myself permission to linger in the “let’s have fun” stage without a single thought of the future.

4. Keeping electronic communication to a minimum. It’s not realistic not to use Facebook or text or email or Gchat to communicate nowadays, but I am going to make a concerted effort to make sure that “getting to know you” conversations are not happening virtually, but rather, in person or on the phone.

5. Seeing vulnerability as a strength. This is a big one for me. I am going to remind myself that I can be open and vulnerable without letting my guard down totally. Personal translation: checking my relationship baggage at the door and making a genuine effort to get to know someone without deciding that I’m investing in him. No matter how many times I’ve had my heart stomped on, being able to remain hopeful and open, I believe, is the key to me being able to open up the way I did when I was younger.

Great tips and this means not putting it all in your online profile as well....
and hey guys, if she wants to wait, that isn't always a bad thing
Just sayin'

Anything worth having is worth waiting for

6 Tips for Avoiding An Ambush Date




1. Control The Conversation. When meeting new people, either in a professional or causal manner, it is important to be personable. Asking some non-invasive, personal questions is a great way to get to know someone. “Where are you from?” So is sharing some personal facts about yourself. “I’m a journalist.” But be aware if the conversation gets a little too personal for the situation. “When is your boyfriend coming back from Hong Kong?” If someone starts harping on your current relationship status and/or significant other, trust that alarm going off in your head. Steer the conversation back to something general and eradicate those flirtatious vibes before they go any further.

2. Set An Appropriate Meeting Time. Now, this will vary depending on your schedule, but whether you are meeting a work colleague or say, that guy in your study group, plan to meet on the earlier side of the evening if possible. Right after work or class. Or on a weekend afternoon. If you can, make sure to mention that you have dinner plans later. This will make it less likely you’ll get ambushed into hanging out longer than you feel comfortable. If you can’t meet until the later hours, you may want to reschedule.

3. Pick The Venue. While it is not a glaring sign of an oncoming date if the person you are meeting picks the location, a great way to steer clear of an ambush date is for you to insist on picking the venue. Taking control of the location will allow you to avoid any bar or restaurant scenarios that might imply the wrong mood. In my case, he picked the place, which ended up being a small Italian restaurant with dim lighting. If I had picked the place, it would have been a well-lit dive bar or a coffee shop.

4. Assess The Greeting. First impressions can be very revealing when meeting someone new. If you receive a greeting that is too affectionate from a new acquaintance, proceed with caution! “You look beautiful” or “Hi, sweetie” are not appropriate greetings. Use your judgement to decide if that hug from your co-worker was a little too friendly. If so, stay alert and prepare to politely excuse yourself if need be.

5. Remember, The More the Merrier. While my case was decidedly one-on-one, other ambush dates can spring from causal situations depending on who is or isn’t around. Let’s say your friend has a friend in town from home and that visitor asks you to show them around town. Nip this potential ambush in the bud and invite one or two of your friends to join you. Same with the studying scenario — make it a study party and prevent a one-on-one situation. If the meeting is intended to be friendly, the guy shouldn’t mind if you bring some friends as reinforcement. The more the merrier, right?

6. Leave When You Want. Maybe this is obvious to you, but I still need to say it: You can leave at any time you want. You are in no way obligated to participate in an ambush date out of guilt or politeness. In my case, I endured our dinner. I slipped the waitress my card to try to pay for my half of the meal, but he wouldn’t let me. If I had it to do again, I would have told him that I couldn’t stay for dinner, that I had somewhere to be later, and suggested that we have a quick drink at the bar. You live and you learn.

Great Article!

6 Rules To Follow For A Successful “Friends With Benefits” Relationship

BY: Amelia McDonell-Parry



Friends with benefits. F**k buddies. It’s a concept I’ve never really been able to get behind, something I thought never really worked. Someone always develops feelings for the other, right? Someone always ends up getting hurt. But! I think I was wrong. Having the perfect f**k buddy relationship may be difficult, but it is not impossible — I should know!

See, off and on for the last year-plus, I’ve had a f**k buddy. And last night, when we were hanging out, I found myself thinking, This is pretty solid. This is easy. I don’t want anything more from this situation. So why has it worked? Well, I think we’ve stuck to six basic rules that have kept the boundaries clear and the situation mutually beneficial and fun. Check ‘em out, after the jump!

RULE #1: Be clear about what your relationship is from the start.

My FB and I actually met through an online dating site. We went out and hit it off, but he basically told me point blank that he “wasn’t really into dating.” I’m not entirely sure what he is into, but I suspect he thinks that when he meets “The One,” it’ll hit him over the head like a ton of bricks and he won’t have to do this whole courting process. Whatever. Maybe it will, maybe it won’t, it’s not really my concern. I tend to be more openminded and believe it takes at least a little while to know whether someone is a match for you or not. The point is, the two of us clearly were not going to be BF/GF. And that was okay! The movie fantasy is that FB/FWB eventually fall in love; I am pretty sure that in real life, that is so rare, it’s not even worth discussing. If you find yourself seriously entertaining the hope that will happen, save yourself from heartbreak and end it.

RULE #2: Find each other interesting.

Some may disagree with me on this, but I think it’s kind of necessary to be able to, like, converse with your FB. After all, you’re not having sex the entire time you’re together and awkward silences are total bonerkillers. And, I don’t know, but I find sex — even casual sex — to be hotter if I find the person I’m sexing to be smart, funny and interesting. MY FB and I actually have a decent amount in common — we like the same movies and we’re both writers. I read his screenplay and gave him feedback. In exchange, he’s going to direct the rom-com I haven’t yet started writing. The last few times we’ve hung out, we’ve talked about more personal stuff too — prior relationships, family issues, etc. I’ve even needled him about what I think are his commitment issues. I’m intrigued by him. If I wasn’t, I would probably be bored by now. And I like him as a person. That’s kind of important for this to be a regular type of thing.

RULE #3: All that being said, don’t care that much.

You can’t. Really starting to care about the other person is what leads to a FB relationship becoming unbalanced and a lack of balance ruins it. Yesterday evening, when my FB texted me about hanging out, I was somewhat inclined to take a raincheck. I had some work I could do, a few shows on my DVR that I wanted to watch, and I desperately needed a wax. But then I was like, “Eh, I haven’t gotten laid in a while, the work can wait, I can watch TV some other night, and who gives a crap that I’m hairy?” The point is, if you really, really want to see the person and will reschedule everything even if it’s terribly inconvenient, you’re probably starting to develop feelings and that is a red flag. So keep an eye on that.

RULE #4: Don’t see each other too often.

One way I think you can kind of keep the caring at bay is by seeing each other regularly but not so regularly that you might as well be dating. My FB and I see each other in spurts. Sometimes we’ll see each other every couple weeks; sometimes, we’ll go a few months without contact. I was in a relationship for a few months last year, so when he booty called, I said as much and that was that. Then when I was single again, we picked things back up. The good thing about hooking up every couple weeks to a month is that you naturally have plenty to talk about when you do see each other. My FB just got back from a trip to North Africa — fascinating!

RULE #5: Know your relationship has a shelf-life.

And be okay with that. Right now, having a FB really works for me because I’m actually totally in love with someone else with whom the timing is very wrong. It’s complicated. I can’t get into it. Basically, I’m sorting poopoo out in my head and heart. But my sex drive revs on! My FB satiates my libido but is not an emotional distraction. Likewise, I know that at some point he may meet someone and want to end things. Hell, I may never hear from him again. That would be fine with me. I’d wish him well. It’s gotta end sometime!

RULE #6: Be really, really sexually attracted to each other.

At the end of the day, I have a lot of fun f**king this dude. Sex is ultimately brings us together every single time. If you’re not having fun in bed there really isn’t any point to this kind of arrangement.

You forgot one. Growing up in the Mid West you should be ashamed. If the date is going well. The girl will let you know if you need to take the long way home and run out of gas. That is why trucks have beds.

I love first dates

Those are good!!

true

They are so exciting

Thanks Willow

Great info!

This is why men get angry at women because we typically are impatient and do not pick up on these signs even if we know what we are looking for. It is something that takes time to get better at so more dates and social interaction helps men and women to better understand each other.

Well spoken

IN REAL LIFE I DONT TOUCH PENIS ON FIRST DATE TEHE

Good point, Bryan!

Thank you for posting this Tamela, I love it when men are gentlemen!

Your welcome. Thanks for reading

WOW, Most of my relationships have moved a little faster then that. That does make sense though.

I gues it all depends on the connection you have

Now that I think about it even I had known my girlfriends prior to dating them. So that is why sometimes friends become couples.

then there you go

When she gets intoxicated on a date and she gets excessively loving that does not mean that sex is consensual. So your best bet is to ensure she gets to sleep and you will have her respect and maybe get lucky after she sobers up!!!

Great thread Tamela and true

So very true!

Great post Tamelalee. I think every lady would agree with you on this subject.

Isnt it

Thanks Kira

I think so to

Opening doors for us ladies means a lot more then you think

I always that that opening a door for a woman came natural for a man.

Unfortunatlely thats not the case now a days

When it comes to asking a woman out on a date, gentlemen do not wait for a perfect moment. Just ask the woman and have a plan. Woman like a man who can take charge and be confident.

Women when the man asks you out do not try to take over the situation. Men find this aggressive and intimidating.

Also very true

A gentleman knows how to act whether it be in public or in private.

Opening doors, asking the lady first, ordering for her when expected....and above all be patient...unless of course she whispers "take me home now" in your ear.

Agreed

Agreed! I always appreciate when a guy opens a door, or pulls out a chair for me.

Totally agree Mixie

Dating Don’ts: Thou Shalt Not Gossip


1. Consult before you spill
I have spoken before about how online dating isn’t my thing. Therefore, I meet the majority of men I date through friends and colleagues. The few times dating someone in my “circle” has gone terribly awry is when the guys have talked about “us” to people we know mutually. Not only can this be embarrassing for all parties involved, but it tends to turn things into a big, sloppy game of telephone. Ugh. Dating is enough of a headache already without other people being involved. Not that it’s really anyone’s business anyway, but it’s natural for people you know in common to ask what happened, which is why when two daters with mutual friends split, I recommend crafting a press release of sorts. Decide on a story together that you will tell mutual friends with vested interests. Example: “If [person who set us up] asks about what happened, let’s say that we felt that there wasn’t a romantic connection and decided to be friends.” Keep it neutral and positive and it will keep people out of your bidness. And NEVER speak to mutual friends/colleagues without consulting with the other person first. This is just a disaster waiting to happen.

2. No poopoo
Your mother taught you (recite it with me): If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all (or post it on Facebook or Twitter). Miraculously, this rule applies to dating. Can you believe it? You may think he handled himself like a total poopoo bird (thank you for that word, Julie), but there’s no need to share it with the world. I mean, do you really want to waste your energy making sure the world knows what a poopoo bird he was? No. You don’t have time for that anyway. Plus if he is truly a poopoo bird, everyone will find out soon enough. He will reveal himself. And you will continue being great and gracious and lovely.

3. Private life details stay private
This is just an advanced form of the Golden Rule. When involved with someone intimately, you’re privy to private information about their lives. This may include stuff about their job, family or friends. No matter how much of a poopoo bird the person was when they ghosted or dumped or started acting poopoo bird cray, this info stays PRIVATE. This should not be used as a weapon, as a form of emotional blackmail or revenge. This should not be repeated to strangers, mutual friends or your dog. You would want it the same way for the personal info you divulged. You wouldn’t want his dog to know either. You should feel honored that the person trusted you enough in the moment to share something with you. Respect that trust. Even if it was fleeting.

4. No talking about the sex stuff
For God’s sake, do I even need to say this? If he had a small penis or she made funny noises during sex or WHATEVER. You need to keep your pie hole shut about it. A real gentleman or lady never repeats these kinds of details. You may talk need to vent or discuss with your closest friend. He wanted to do WHAT to me in bed!? Help me understand! Fine. If you must confide, you must. Just make sure they know how to keep a secret.

5. Be civil when you see them
Stiff upper lip and no crazy nervous breakdowns when you run into them at the next birthday dinner or professional event. Smile and wave. Exchange pleasantries. Show that you’re the kind of person who can handle breaking up and still seeing that person socially. If you have unfinished bidness with them, broach the subject another time when other people aren’t around.

great advice

This makes me want to cry. She is having sex with one person and doesn't care about him, and in love with another person. The author's attitude, seems to want to kill love and just stomp it to the ground. It is an interesting view point though.

A very helpful thread all in all, Tamela, thanks for going to the effort of posting it.

Thanks GIJen

Awe thanks for taking the time to read

Isnt it?