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 Post subject: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:09 pm 
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After much coaxing and prodding by several highly influential individuals (namely my good friend Mr60%) I was convinced to write a review of our most recent trip to the Ranches for the annual St. Patrick's Day Party. For those of you who read my account of last years trip you know what a truly epic adventure it was. Full of thrills, near death experiences, disaster and ultimately sweet satisfaction. For those of you who have not read last years review....shame on you. It's a classic. Go find it... You will be better people for having read it.

Now just like in Hollywood, when someone has a great story, there is always a sequel. And though it rarely happens, sometimes the sequel outdoes the original. This is one of those times. So sit back, relax and enjoy an epic tale of friendship, greed, lust and lots and lots of vodka redbulls.

Our story begins with yours truly being placed in charge of securing partners for the lap dance competition. I gotta be honest, this is not a task I enjoy. There is really no good way to ask a girl to grind on your lap without sounding like a total douchebag. Anyway, I fired off a few messages and got a pretty quick reply from Kimberly Love. She said she and Nikki Ryan were without a partner and would love to team up. I had always thought Kimberly was really attractive so having her as my lap dance partner seemed like a stroke of good luck. Unfortunately, that would be the last piece of luck we would be seeing for awhile.

Twenty minutes after getting the lap dance thing squared away I got a call from Mr60%. He had been monitoring the weather like a white Al Roker and called to let me know that there was a huge storm rolling in that week. Predictions called for 15 inches of snow. He wasn't sure we could make it up there since neither of our trucks were 4 wheel drive, not to mention neither of us had ever driven in snow like that before. He suggested that perhaps this trip just wasn't in the cards and maybe we should call it off.

Now I'm not sure if I can call it bravery, stubbornness or just an example of a fool not knowing that he is over-matched, but as I contemplated the news I was just given, my eye caught a lovely signature with Kimberly Loves face on it.....stating "proud member of the Kimberly Love Fan Club".....I realized then that if I ever wanted one of those signatures for myself, I was going to have to earn it.

I told Mr60% "to keep packing!"...he said "why?" ...I said " two words my friend...Snow Chains."

So I picked Mr60% up around 7am on Friday hoping to beat at least some of the weather, but by Auburn , Mother Nature was already pissing her pantsuit and we knew we might be in for some trouble. By the time we reached Kingvale it was snowing pretty hard, we arrived at the chain control and pulled up to a man who resembled Charles Manson in all weather gear. He fixed a murderous eye on me and asked if I had chains...I pointed to the back and he shuffled over and began installing them on our rear tires.

Now let me state for clarity, that Mr60% and I have never put chains on a vehicle but even with no experience in such matters, it is just natural for us to assume that we are always the smartest guys in the room. So we kind of exchanged nervous glances and basically said at the same time "don't the chains go on the front tires?" Not intending to climb up a mountain without this important information, I waited for Charles to approach my window and asked him if he was sure he had them on the right tires. He looked at me with his thousand yard stare and asked " where did you two go to school at? If you put em on the front that means you are driving a 4 wheel drive and you wouldn't need chains." "oh"..we replied " keep the change"...and with one last crazy eyed glare from Chuck we began our ascent.

As I stated I have zero experience driving in snow or with snow chains, so I took Mr60's advice and just took it slow. I felt like I was doing really well until I glanced to the left and saw some guy on a dog sled giving me the finger as he passed us. Not gonna lie folks, this was a pretty nerve wracking experience. Did we hold hands and pray together? Maybe. Maybe not....quite frankly dear reader this is none of your concern.

After what seemed like an eternity (40 mins in non-pussy time) we came out of the mountains and pulled over to take the chains off. As I pried my white knuckled fingers from the wheel we congratulated ourselves on overcoming the elements and becoming the fierce outdoorsmen we always knew we could be.

So we arrived at the Peppermill safe and sound where our third friend the White Knight was already waiting for us. We showered, changed and headed out to the Love Ranch for the party.

First off I gotta say, the place looked great, the ladies were looking fantastic and we felt right at home. I had just gotten a beer when none other then Kimberly Love and Nikki Ryan walked over to me and introduced themselves. Nikki actually remembered us from our last trip because my friend the White Knight had promised to get her an Apple Pie.....He stiffed her on the pie....She had not forgotten. We promised to make amends , all was forgiven and we prepared to do battle for lap dance supremacy.

Alas, I must report that although Kimberly and Nikki both performed above and beyond the call of duty, reaching heights of raunchiness heretofore unseen in the world of stripperdom, it was not meant to be and we were defeated....or shall I say ROBBED.

The only thing that took the sting of defeat away was the fact that Kimberly and I had really hit it off and spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other. Honestly, I have never had the pleasure of meeting such a sweet and funny woman. She is obviously beautiful to look at but man that sense of humor is really what sets her apart. We talked about everything, including what her favorite type of pie is, I figured since the White Knight owed Nikki a pie, Kimberly should get one too. Of course her favorite type of pie is Pumpkin Pie which is seasonal and almost impossible to get in the middle of march.....2nd choice...chocolate cream in case you were wondering.

My friends and I had so much fun hanging with Kimberly, Nikki and Malika that instead of going to the Bunny Ranch party on Saturday we actually came back to the Love Ranch with pies in tow.

We all sat around talking and having a great time and finally around midnight or so Kimberly asked if I would like to see her room.....I said "uh yeah".

Now before I say anything else about the sexual encounter, I would just like to comment on the absolute cleanliness of Kimberly Loves quarters. Seriously, If I had somehow been able to get her some pumpkin pie, we could have eaten it off the floor. If you happen to be some poor son of a bitch who is forced to live in a bubble due to some sort of immune deficiency, you could easily climb out of your plastic prison and roam freely around Miss Love's room without fear of even catching a sniffle......but I digress.

The negotiation was smooth, natural and fair....even kind of funny.

Now comes the awkward part, where I tell you how great she was without getting into gratuitous detail.

Now for the first time in this review I'm going to be serious.....Honestly, the best time I have ever had with a woman. Hands down, bar none...she tops my list ( and yes my list is extensive alright!).

I gotta say even though the weather was worse going home then coming up, at that point I wouldn't have cared if we careened 7000 feet to our doom....I would have gone peacefully and happily....Mr60% may have disagreed with my willingness to let death take us.... but whatever.

Thanks Kimberly, Nikki, Malika and the entire Love Ranch. You guys always show us a great time and this one was the best ever.

p.s. the chicken wings were great....there are you happy now Mr60%?

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Last edited by joltnjoey on Sun Apr 01, 2012 12:08 am, edited 3 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 6:13 pm 
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Great review, Joey! It was a pleasure to meet you. You guys had the same fun getting over the pass that we did on Friday. :D

Sounds like you had an amazing time to make up for it though! :twisted: :mrgreen:


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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:02 pm 
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Not a bad review joltnjoey. If I had to criticize it I would say you should have wrote about my mocha queen malika more but whatever! Lol


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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Wed Mar 21, 2012 7:43 pm 
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Was great meeting you. Kimberly sure is a treasure, glad you guys had a blast.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:39 am 
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Is it considered poor etiquette to bump your own review?

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 9:57 am 
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joltnjoey wrote:
Is it considered poor etiquette to bump your own review?


A hell no!!! Awesome review joltnjoey. Sounds like you had a great time.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Thu Mar 22, 2012 10:16 pm 
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You are too funny. I enjoy reading it. You guys are always welcome and bring a lot fun to the house. I am happy that the three of you were safe and that you got to experience a wonderful time with Kimberly. She is beautiful, funny and sensual as you said.
Don't forget. Next time the three of you will have to be on line up. :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:44 am 
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kimberlylove wrote:
Wow! Thank you so much for the awesome review!! I had so much fun hanging out with you and I am glad that you were able to make it to the party!!! I look forward to seeing you again!!!! Thank you for the pie!!!!!! [smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]


It was my pleasure... No thanks needed...and next time I promise that I will get you a pumpkin pie regardless of the time of year. Even if I have to hold the bakery chef at Marie Calendars at gunpoint until she agrees to make it. Yeah I'm pretty committed.

Thanks again

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 11:48 am 
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jadecapri wrote:
You are too funny. I enjoy reading it. You guys are always welcome and bring a lot fun to the house. I am happy that the three of you were safe and that you got to experience a wonderful time with Kimberly. She is beautiful, funny and sensual as you said.
Don't forget. Next time the three of you will have to be on line up. :mrgreen:



Thanks Jade....not sure you want us in a lineup...we are world renowned for our unethical dirty hustling... No hands behind the back for this guy.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2012 3:27 pm 
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Very fun review! [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 10:13 am 
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nataliaqing wrote:
Very fun review! [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]



I agree...I think it should be framed and hung in some prominent location in the parlor so that everyone can enjoy it. Should only message board members get the privilege of reading it? I think not...it should be shared with the world.....well that's what I think anyway.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 1:42 pm 
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i dont think that is really fair to jill! her review was just as epic maybe even more so than kimberly's! i think they should hang both up and let the people decide!


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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 10:20 pm 
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Location: Carson City - NV @jadecapri1
joltnjoey wrote:
jadecapri wrote:
You are too funny. I enjoy reading it. You guys are always welcome and bring a lot fun to the house. I am happy that the three of you were safe and that you got to experience a wonderful time with Kimberly. She is beautiful, funny and sensual as you said.
Don't forget. Next time the three of you will have to be on line up. :mrgreen:



Thanks Jade....not sure you want us in a lineup...we are world renowned for our unethical dirty hustling... No hands behind the back for this guy.

Oh, I saw you ditty hustling al right. You will have to be punished. I will let Kimberly decide what is going to be :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Mon Mar 26, 2012 10:38 am 
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jadecapri wrote:
joltnjoey wrote:
jadecapri wrote:
You are too funny. I enjoy reading it. You guys are always welcome and bring a lot fun to the house. I am happy that the three of you were safe and that you got to experience a wonderful time with Kimberly. She is beautiful, funny and sensual as you said.
Don't forget. Next time the three of you will have to be on line up. :mrgreen:



Thanks Jade....not sure you want us in a lineup...we are world renowned for our unethical dirty hustling... No hands behind the back for this guy.

Oh, I saw you ditty hustling al right. You will have to be punished. I will let Kimberly decide what is going to be :mrgreen:


As long as it doesn't involve a ball gag , two hillbillies and a guy in a gimp mask I think I can handle it

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 10:28 am 
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So I see all of Kimberly loves reviews on the first page and somehow this masterpiece gets knocked back to page two? Not on my watch people...not on my watch.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 2:32 pm 
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joltnjoey wrote:
So I see all of Kimberly loves reviews on the first page and somehow this masterpiece gets knocked back to page two? Not on my watch people...not on my watch.


I have to agree with you. Not on my watch :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:48 pm 
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jadecapri wrote:
You are too funny. I enjoy reading it. You guys are always welcome and bring a lot fun to the house. I am happy that the three of you were safe and that you got to experience a wonderful time with Kimberly. She is beautiful, funny and sensual as you said.
Don't forget. Next time the three of you will have to be on line up. :mrgreen:



Thanks for the support Jade....I can always count on you to do whats right.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 5:49 pm 
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kimberlylove wrote:
joltnjoey wrote:
So I see all of Kimberly loves reviews on the first page and somehow this masterpiece gets knocked back to page two? Not on my watch people...not on my watch.

You are too funny! :mrgreen: [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]



yeah

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:23 pm 
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joltnjoey wrote:
After much coaxing and prodding by several highly influential individuals (namely my good friend Mr60%) I was convinced to write a review of our most recent trip to the Ranches for the annual St. Patrick's Day Party. For those of you who read my account of last years trip you know what a truly epic adventure it was. Full of thrills, near death experiences, disaster and ultimately sweet satisfaction. For those of you who have not read last years review....shame on you. It's a classic. Go find it... You will be better people for having read it.

Now just like in Hollywood, when someone has a great story, there is always a sequel. And though it rarely happens, sometimes the sequel outdoes the original. This is one of those times. So sit back, relax and enjoy an epic tale of friendship, greed, lust and lots and lots of vodka redbulls.

Our story begins with yours truly being placed in charge of securing partners for the lap dance competition. I gotta be honest, this is not a task I enjoy. There is really no good way to ask a girl to grind on your lap without sounding like a total douchebag. Anyway, I fired off a few messages and got a pretty quick reply from Kimberley Love. She said she and Nikki Ryan were without a partner and would love to team up. I had always thought Kimberly was really attractive so having her as my lap dance partner seemed like a stroke of good luck. Unfortunately, that would be the last piece of luck we would be seeing for awhile.

Twenty minutes after getting the lap dance thing squared away I got a call from Mr60%. He had been monitoring the weather like a white Al Roker and called to let me know that there was a huge storm rolling in that week. Predictions called for 15 inches of snow. He wasn't sure we could make it up there since neither of our trucks were 4 wheel drive, not to mention neither of us had ever driven in snow like that before. He suggested that perhaps this trip just wasn't in the cards and maybe we should call it off.

Now I'm not sure if I can call it bravery, stubbornness or just an example of a fool not knowing that he is over-matched, but as I contemplated the news I was just given, my eye caught a lovely signature with Kimberly Loves face on it.....stating "proud member of the Kimberly Love Fan Club".....I realized then that if I ever wanted one of those signatures for myself, I was going to have to earn it.

I told Mr60% "to keep packing!"...he said "why?" ...I said " two words my friend...Snow Chains."

So I picked Mr60% up around 7am on Friday hoping to beat at least some of the weather, but by Auburn , Mother Nature was already pissing her pantsuit and we knew we might be in for some trouble. By the time we reached Kingvale it was snowing pretty hard, we arrived at the chain control and pulled up to a man who resembled Charles Manson in all weather gear. He fixed a murderous eye on me and asked if I had chains...I pointed to the back and he shuffled over and began installing them on our rear tires.

Now let me state for clarity, that Mr60% and I have never put chains on a vehicle but even with no experience in such matters, it is just natural for us to assume that we are always the smartest guys in the room. So we kind of exchanged nervous glances and basically said at the same time "don't the chains go on the front tires?" Not intending to climb up a mountain without this important information, I waited for Charles to approach my window and asked him if he was sure he had them on the right tires. He looked at me with his thousand yard stare and asked " where did you two go to school at? If you put em on the front that means you are driving a 4 wheel drive and you wouldn't need chains." "oh"..we replied " keep the change"...and with one last crazy eyed glare from Chuck we began our ascent.

As I stated I have zero experience driving in snow or with snow chains, so I took Mr60's advice and just took it slow. I felt like I was doing really well until I glanced to the left and saw some guy on a dog sled giving me the finger as he passed us. Not gonna lie folks, this was a pretty nerve wracking experience. Did we hold hands and pray together? Maybe. Maybe not....quite frankly dear reader this is none of your concern.

After what seemed like an eternity (40 mins in non-pussy time) we came out of the mountains and pulled over to take the chains off. As I pried my white knuckled fingers from the wheel we congratulated ourselves on overcoming the elements and becoming the fierce outdoorsmen we always knew we could be.

So we arrived at the Peppermill safe and sound where our third friend the White Knight was already waiting for us. We showered, changed and headed out to the Love Ranch for the party.

First off I gotta say, the place looked great, the ladies were looking fantastic and we felt right at home. I had just gotten a beer when none other then Kimberly Love and Nikki Ryan walked over to me and introduced themselves. Nikki actually remembered us from our last trip because my friend the White Knight had promised to get her an Apple Pie.....He stiffed her on the pie....She had not forgotten. We promised to make amends , all was forgiven and we prepared to do battle for lap dance supremacy.

Alas, I must report that although Kimberly and Nikki both performed above and beyond the call of duty, reaching heights of raunchiness heretofore unseen in the world of stripperdom, it was not meant to be and we were defeated....or shall I say ROBBED.

The only thing that took the sting of defeat away was the fact that Kimberly and I had really hit it off and spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other. Honestly, I have never had the pleasure of meeting such a sweet and funny woman. She is obviously beautiful to look at but man that sense of humor is really what sets her apart. We talked about everything, including what her favorite type of pie is, I figured since the White Knight owed Nikki a pie, Kimberly should get one too. Of course her favorite type of pie is Pumpkin Pie which is seasonal and almost impossible to get in the middle of march.....2nd choice...chocolate cream in case you were wondering.

My friends and I had so much fun hanging with Kimberly, Nikki and Malika that instead of going to the Bunny Ranch party on Saturday we actually came back to the Love Ranch with pies in tow.

We all sat around talking and having a great time and finally around midnight or so Kimberly asked if I would like to see her room.....I said "uh yeah".

Now before I say anything else about the sexual encounter, I would just like to comment on the absolute cleanliness of Kimberly Loves quarters. Seriously, If I had somehow been able to get her some pumpkin pie, we could have eaten it off the floor. If you happen to be some poor son of a bitch who is forced to live in a bubble due to some sort of immune deficiency, you could easily climb out of your plastic prison and roam freely around Miss Love's room without fear of even catching a sniffle......but I digress.

The negotiation was smooth, natural and fair....even kind of funny.

Now comes the awkward part, where I tell you how great she was without getting into gratuitous detail.

Now for the first time in this review I'm going to be serious.....Honestly, the best time I have ever had with a woman. Hands down, bar none...she tops my list ( and yes my list is extensive alright!).

I gotta say even though the weather was worse going home then coming up, at that point I wouldn't have cared if we careened 7000 feet to our doom....I would have gone peacefully and happily....Mr60% may have disagreed with my willingness to let death take us.... but whatever.

Thanks Kimberly, Nikki, Malika and the entire Love Ranch. You guys always show us a great time and this one was the best ever.

p.s. the chicken wings were great....there are you happy now Mr60%?


I have read this reveiw several times now and every time I read it, I LMAO :lol: You are pretty funny in person and apparently in writing also. Who knew?! Great review of Kimberly. She is an awesome girl and I'm glad you enjoyed your party with her. I had so much fun with you guys!! Thanks for making my St. Patty's Day and coming through with the pies...finally [smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 7:36 pm 
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NikkiRyan wrote:
joltnjoey wrote:
After much coaxing and prodding by several highly influential individuals (namely my good friend Mr60%) I was convinced to write a review of our most recent trip to the Ranches for the annual St. Patrick's Day Party. For those of you who read my account of last years trip you know what a truly epic adventure it was. Full of thrills, near death experiences, disaster and ultimately sweet satisfaction. For those of you who have not read last years review....shame on you. It's a classic. Go find it... You will be better people for having read it.

Now just like in Hollywood, when someone has a great story, there is always a sequel. And though it rarely happens, sometimes the sequel outdoes the original. This is one of those times. So sit back, relax and enjoy an epic tale of friendship, greed, lust and lots and lots of vodka redbulls.

Our story begins with yours truly being placed in charge of securing partners for the lap dance competition. I gotta be honest, this is not a task I enjoy. There is really no good way to ask a girl to grind on your lap without sounding like a total douchebag. Anyway, I fired off a few messages and got a pretty quick reply from Kimberley Love. She said she and Nikki Ryan were without a partner and would love to team up. I had always thought Kimberly was really attractive so having her as my lap dance partner seemed like a stroke of good luck. Unfortunately, that would be the last piece of luck we would be seeing for awhile.

Twenty minutes after getting the lap dance thing squared away I got a call from Mr60%. He had been monitoring the weather like a white Al Roker and called to let me know that there was a huge storm rolling in that week. Predictions called for 15 inches of snow. He wasn't sure we could make it up there since neither of our trucks were 4 wheel drive, not to mention neither of us had ever driven in snow like that before. He suggested that perhaps this trip just wasn't in the cards and maybe we should call it off.

Now I'm not sure if I can call it bravery, stubbornness or just an example of a fool not knowing that he is over-matched, but as I contemplated the news I was just given, my eye caught a lovely signature with Kimberly Loves face on it.....stating "proud member of the Kimberly Love Fan Club".....I realized then that if I ever wanted one of those signatures for myself, I was going to have to earn it.

I told Mr60% "to keep packing!"...he said "why?" ...I said " two words my friend...Snow Chains."

So I picked Mr60% up around 7am on Friday hoping to beat at least some of the weather, but by Auburn , Mother Nature was already pissing her pantsuit and we knew we might be in for some trouble. By the time we reached Kingvale it was snowing pretty hard, we arrived at the chain control and pulled up to a man who resembled Charles Manson in all weather gear. He fixed a murderous eye on me and asked if I had chains...I pointed to the back and he shuffled over and began installing them on our rear tires.

Now let me state for clarity, that Mr60% and I have never put chains on a vehicle but even with no experience in such matters, it is just natural for us to assume that we are always the smartest guys in the room. So we kind of exchanged nervous glances and basically said at the same time "don't the chains go on the front tires?" Not intending to climb up a mountain without this important information, I waited for Charles to approach my window and asked him if he was sure he had them on the right tires. He looked at me with his thousand yard stare and asked " where did you two go to school at? If you put em on the front that means you are driving a 4 wheel drive and you wouldn't need chains." "oh"..we replied " keep the change"...and with one last crazy eyed glare from Chuck we began our ascent.

As I stated I have zero experience driving in snow or with snow chains, so I took Mr60's advice and just took it slow. I felt like I was doing really well until I glanced to the left and saw some guy on a dog sled giving me the finger as he passed us. Not gonna lie folks, this was a pretty nerve wracking experience. Did we hold hands and pray together? Maybe. Maybe not....quite frankly dear reader this is none of your concern.

After what seemed like an eternity (40 mins in non-pussy time) we came out of the mountains and pulled over to take the chains off. As I pried my white knuckled fingers from the wheel we congratulated ourselves on overcoming the elements and becoming the fierce outdoorsmen we always knew we could be.

So we arrived at the Peppermill safe and sound where our third friend the White Knight was already waiting for us. We showered, changed and headed out to the Love Ranch for the party.

First off I gotta say, the place looked great, the ladies were looking fantastic and we felt right at home. I had just gotten a beer when none other then Kimberly Love and Nikki Ryan walked over to me and introduced themselves. Nikki actually remembered us from our last trip because my friend the White Knight had promised to get her an Apple Pie.....He stiffed her on the pie....She had not forgotten. We promised to make amends , all was forgiven and we prepared to do battle for lap dance supremacy.

Alas, I must report that although Kimberly and Nikki both performed above and beyond the call of duty, reaching heights of raunchiness heretofore unseen in the world of stripperdom, it was not meant to be and we were defeated....or shall I say ROBBED.

The only thing that took the sting of defeat away was the fact that Kimberly and I had really hit it off and spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other. Honestly, I have never had the pleasure of meeting such a sweet and funny woman. She is obviously beautiful to look at but man that sense of humor is really what sets her apart. We talked about everything, including what her favorite type of pie is, I figured since the White Knight owed Nikki a pie, Kimberly should get one too. Of course her favorite type of pie is Pumpkin Pie which is seasonal and almost impossible to get in the middle of march.....2nd choice...chocolate cream in case you were wondering.

My friends and I had so much fun hanging with Kimberly, Nikki and Malika that instead of going to the Bunny Ranch party on Saturday we actually came back to the Love Ranch with pies in tow.

We all sat around talking and having a great time and finally around midnight or so Kimberly asked if I would like to see her room.....I said "uh yeah".

Now before I say anything else about the sexual encounter, I would just like to comment on the absolute cleanliness of Kimberly Loves quarters. Seriously, If I had somehow been able to get her some pumpkin pie, we could have eaten it off the floor. If you happen to be some poor son of a bitch who is forced to live in a bubble due to some sort of immune deficiency, you could easily climb out of your plastic prison and roam freely around Miss Love's room without fear of even catching a sniffle......but I digress.

The negotiation was smooth, natural and fair....even kind of funny.

Now comes the awkward part, where I tell you how great she was without getting into gratuitous detail.

Now for the first time in this review I'm going to be serious.....Honestly, the best time I have ever had with a woman. Hands down, bar none...she tops my list ( and yes my list is extensive alright!).

I gotta say even though the weather was worse going home then coming up, at that point I wouldn't have cared if we careened 7000 feet to our doom....I would have gone peacefully and happily....Mr60% may have disagreed with my willingness to let death take us.... but whatever.

Thanks Kimberly, Nikki, Malika and the entire Love Ranch. You guys always show us a great time and this one was the best ever.

p.s. the chicken wings were great....there are you happy now Mr60%?


I have read this reveiw several times now and every time I read it, I LMAO :lol: You are pretty funny in person and apparently in writing also. Who knew?! Great review of Kimberly. She is an awesome girl and I'm glad you enjoyed your party with her. I had so much fun with you guys!! Thanks for making my St. Patty's Day and coming through with the pies...finally [smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]



Hey Whats up? Thanks for the compliment. We had a lot of fun with you as well. The White Knight has been going on and on about you....bit annoying really. You guys were definitely the highlight of our trip and I don't give a damn what any judge says .....you killed that lap dance contest. I plan to put together a blue ribbon panel to investigate any improprieties that may have taken place....vindication will be swift and just. Looking forward to seeing you in a couple weeks.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Mar 27, 2012 9:32 pm 
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joltnjoey wrote:
NikkiRyan wrote:
joltnjoey wrote:
After much coaxing and prodding by several highly influential individuals (namely my good friend Mr60%) I was convinced to write a review of our most recent trip to the Ranches for the annual St. Patrick's Day Party. For those of you who read my account of last years trip you know what a truly epic adventure it was. Full of thrills, near death experiences, disaster and ultimately sweet satisfaction. For those of you who have not read last years review....shame on you. It's a classic. Go find it... You will be better people for having read it.

Now just like in Hollywood, when someone has a great story, there is always a sequel. And though it rarely happens, sometimes the sequel outdoes the original. This is one of those times. So sit back, relax and enjoy an epic tale of friendship, greed, lust and lots and lots of vodka redbulls.

Our story begins with yours truly being placed in charge of securing partners for the lap dance competition. I gotta be honest, this is not a task I enjoy. There is really no good way to ask a girl to grind on your lap without sounding like a total douchebag. Anyway, I fired off a few messages and got a pretty quick reply from Kimberley Love. She said she and Nikki Ryan were without a partner and would love to team up. I had always thought Kimberly was really attractive so having her as my lap dance partner seemed like a stroke of good luck. Unfortunately, that would be the last piece of luck we would be seeing for awhile.

Twenty minutes after getting the lap dance thing squared away I got a call from Mr60%. He had been monitoring the weather like a white Al Roker and called to let me know that there was a huge storm rolling in that week. Predictions called for 15 inches of snow. He wasn't sure we could make it up there since neither of our trucks were 4 wheel drive, not to mention neither of us had ever driven in snow like that before. He suggested that perhaps this trip just wasn't in the cards and maybe we should call it off.

Now I'm not sure if I can call it bravery, stubbornness or just an example of a fool not knowing that he is over-matched, but as I contemplated the news I was just given, my eye caught a lovely signature with Kimberly Loves face on it.....stating "proud member of the Kimberly Love Fan Club".....I realized then that if I ever wanted one of those signatures for myself, I was going to have to earn it.

I told Mr60% "to keep packing!"...he said "why?" ...I said " two words my friend...Snow Chains."

So I picked Mr60% up around 7am on Friday hoping to beat at least some of the weather, but by Auburn , Mother Nature was already pissing her pantsuit and we knew we might be in for some trouble. By the time we reached Kingvale it was snowing pretty hard, we arrived at the chain control and pulled up to a man who resembled Charles Manson in all weather gear. He fixed a murderous eye on me and asked if I had chains...I pointed to the back and he shuffled over and began installing them on our rear tires.

Now let me state for clarity, that Mr60% and I have never put chains on a vehicle but even with no experience in such matters, it is just natural for us to assume that we are always the smartest guys in the room. So we kind of exchanged nervous glances and basically said at the same time "don't the chains go on the front tires?" Not intending to climb up a mountain without this important information, I waited for Charles to approach my window and asked him if he was sure he had them on the right tires. He looked at me with his thousand yard stare and asked " where did you two go to school at? If you put em on the front that means you are driving a 4 wheel drive and you wouldn't need chains." "oh"..we replied " keep the change"...and with one last crazy eyed glare from Chuck we began our ascent.

As I stated I have zero experience driving in snow or with snow chains, so I took Mr60's advice and just took it slow. I felt like I was doing really well until I glanced to the left and saw some guy on a dog sled giving me the finger as he passed us. Not gonna lie folks, this was a pretty nerve wracking experience. Did we hold hands and pray together? Maybe. Maybe not....quite frankly dear reader this is none of your concern.

After what seemed like an eternity (40 mins in non-pussy time) we came out of the mountains and pulled over to take the chains off. As I pried my white knuckled fingers from the wheel we congratulated ourselves on overcoming the elements and becoming the fierce outdoorsmen we always knew we could be.

So we arrived at the Peppermill safe and sound where our third friend the White Knight was already waiting for us. We showered, changed and headed out to the Love Ranch for the party.

First off I gotta say, the place looked great, the ladies were looking fantastic and we felt right at home. I had just gotten a beer when none other then Kimberly Love and Nikki Ryan walked over to me and introduced themselves. Nikki actually remembered us from our last trip because my friend the White Knight had promised to get her an Apple Pie.....He stiffed her on the pie....She had not forgotten. We promised to make amends , all was forgiven and we prepared to do battle for lap dance supremacy.

Alas, I must report that although Kimberly and Nikki both performed above and beyond the call of duty, reaching heights of raunchiness heretofore unseen in the world of stripperdom, it was not meant to be and we were defeated....or shall I say ROBBED.

The only thing that took the sting of defeat away was the fact that Kimberly and I had really hit it off and spent the rest of the night talking and getting to know each other. Honestly, I have never had the pleasure of meeting such a sweet and funny woman. She is obviously beautiful to look at but man that sense of humor is really what sets her apart. We talked about everything, including what her favorite type of pie is, I figured since the White Knight owed Nikki a pie, Kimberly should get one too. Of course her favorite type of pie is Pumpkin Pie which is seasonal and almost impossible to get in the middle of march.....2nd choice...chocolate cream in case you were wondering.

My friends and I had so much fun hanging with Kimberly, Nikki and Malika that instead of going to the Bunny Ranch party on Saturday we actually came back to the Love Ranch with pies in tow.

We all sat around talking and having a great time and finally around midnight or so Kimberly asked if I would like to see her room.....I said "uh yeah".

Now before I say anything else about the sexual encounter, I would just like to comment on the absolute cleanliness of Kimberly Loves quarters. Seriously, If I had somehow been able to get her some pumpkin pie, we could have eaten it off the floor. If you happen to be some poor son of a bitch who is forced to live in a bubble due to some sort of immune deficiency, you could easily climb out of your plastic prison and roam freely around Miss Love's room without fear of even catching a sniffle......but I digress.

The negotiation was smooth, natural and fair....even kind of funny.

Now comes the awkward part, where I tell you how great she was without getting into gratuitous detail.

Now for the first time in this review I'm going to be serious.....Honestly, the best time I have ever had with a woman. Hands down, bar none...she tops my list ( and yes my list is extensive alright!).

I gotta say even though the weather was worse going home then coming up, at that point I wouldn't have cared if we careened 7000 feet to our doom....I would have gone peacefully and happily....Mr60% may have disagreed with my willingness to let death take us.... but whatever.

Thanks Kimberly, Nikki, Malika and the entire Love Ranch. You guys always show us a great time and this one was the best ever.

p.s. the chicken wings were great....there are you happy now Mr60%?


I have read this reveiw several times now and every time I read it, I LMAO :lol: You are pretty funny in person and apparently in writing also. Who knew?! Great review of Kimberly. She is an awesome girl and I'm glad you enjoyed your party with her. I had so much fun with you guys!! Thanks for making my St. Patty's Day and coming through with the pies...finally [smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]



Hey Whats up? Thanks for the compliment. We had a lot of fun with you as well. The White Knight has been going on and on about you....bit annoying really. You guys were definitely the highlight of our trip and I don't give a damn what any judge says .....you killed that lap dance contest. I plan to put together a blue ribbon panel to investigate any improprieties that may have taken place....vindication will be swift and just. Looking forward to seeing you in a couple weeks.


Hey...Wuzzzz Uppppp? He has huh? Well tell him I will expect an even bigger pie this time :lol: Well I think we gave it a good try anyway no matter what the panel decides. See you soon!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:34 pm 
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I finally earned my signature...my mom was right, hard work and perseverance do pay off

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:43 pm 
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joltnjoey wrote:
I finally earned my signature...my mom was right, hard work and perseverance do pay off


That is awesome, Joey! Love your new signature!


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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:15 pm 
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Malika Elizabeth wrote:
Wow, Joey, you are one FUNNY and talented writer!! I could NOT stop laughing as Nikki read this review to me when I got back from vacation...I mean, I could picture each and every part of of your harrowing journey to visit us and although it was a white-knuckled trip for you and Mr 60%, it left the rest of us howling!!

Thank you very much for the generous mention in this review and it was equally a pleasure to get to know you, White Knight and especially that handsome devil, Mr. 60% better!! St. Patty's Day weekend was made all the more pleasurable by you guys risking your lives to party with us and I can't wait to see you guys again in a few weeks!


[smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif] [smilie=heart fill with love.gif]

handsome devil? me? i'm not sure about that one. witty as hell, yes. sexy, yes. but then again, who am i to argue with such a smart and beautiful woman? fine. i am pretty gosh darn handsome!


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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Thu Apr 05, 2012 9:05 pm 
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Bumping this thread in anticipation of our visit next week... Oh and because it's awesome and should never be down this low.. Enjoy

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 11:32 pm 
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Nice review, I always hear such nice things about Kimberly and I hope to party with her soon :)

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:29 pm 
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Just wanted to bump this in anitcipation of my next epic review....Had the privlege of once again spending some time with Kimberly at the annverisary party....I know how disappointed you all would be if I didn't grace you all with another epic review..stay tuned...I know you all will be glued to your monitors.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 8:13 pm 
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wow...I just saw this review was almost knocked back to the 2nd page. You can't rest around here for a second. Think about it, what if someone who had never read this review came along and was unable to find it? What a crime that would be, someone losing the oppurtunity to enjoy this fine piece of literature?

Well luckily for all of us I came along when I did....Don't thank me, it's one of the many jobs a President of a Fan Club must perform.....just working the job people....just working the job

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sat May 05, 2012 10:11 am 
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just so that joltnjoey will shut up about this thread i'll bump it! now leave me alone!!!! lol


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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Fri May 11, 2012 9:49 am 
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mr60% wrote:
just so that joltnjoey will shut up about this thread i'll bump it! now leave me alone!!!! lol


Such a fine review of the beautiful Kimberly deserves to be bumped!!!! :lol: :twisted:

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 10:00 am 
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What a nice posting, Kimberly is some thing else her sense of humor is wonderful and she is a lovely lady.


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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 12:00 pm 
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funny ass review! where on earth did you ever get so funny joey? it must be from hanging around the lovely Kimberly and Mr60%. but seriously kimberly is a fantastic woman and its not surprising you had such a great time with her.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 11:38 am 
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i still love reading this masterpiece!

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 9:10 pm 
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Miss Isis wrote:
i still love reading this masterpiece!



I believe in this day and age some words are thrown around a bit too much, and don't always apply. However, in this case I have to agree with Isis......This review is a masterpiece. I did it all for Love...Kimberly Love, belongs right up there next to the Statue of David and the Sistene Chapel. I hope it continues to bring pleasure to millions.

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 9:45 am 
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joltnjoey wrote:
Miss Isis wrote:
i still love reading this masterpiece!



I believe in this day and age some words are thrown around a bit too much, and don't always apply. However, in this case I have to agree with Isis......This review is a masterpiece. I did it all for Love...Kimberly Love, belongs right up there next to the Statue of David and the Sistene Chapel. I hope it continues to bring pleasure to millions.

Why only confind it to art why not music too. It's like Beethoven's 5th symphony, or Mozart's Sympony No. 40 in G minor!!!

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2012 7:50 am 
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bump

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:33 am 
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Love the review Joey! Kimberly is a MUST see!

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:19 pm 
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Great Review so Hott!!!!

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 Post subject: Re: I did it all for Love......Kimberly Love
PostPosted: Tue Feb 25, 2014 3:08 pm 
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Bumping this cause it's just so fucking awesome...and because mr60% and I now own our own business and literally had nothing to do today except look at old posts on the msg board... Being ur own boss really does have it's advantages... Oh and I fully realize what an incredibly douchey move this is... Enjoy.. Lol

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