index finger discount

similar to the five finger discount in that it involves stealing/illegally obtaining items. however the index finger discount applies only to the index finger on the hand which you use your mouse for clicking and downloading illegal music, movies, etc.

i.e. pirating

I recently obtained a poopoo of music using the index finger discount

BUNNYBUZZ
The euphoric feeling after leaving the ranch. Someone cuts you off in traffic gives you the finger and proceeds to tell the world that your parents were never married. You smile and wave. As you wait for your plane you see it is delayed 2 hours You smile and say oh well. If you have ever had a smile on your face for days after leaving the ranch and nothing bothers you then don't worry you are experiencing BUNNYBUZZ
WARNING symptoms of BUNNYBUZZ may occur after ringing the buzzer at the gate before your party and may last for several weeks after. Remain calm don't call your doctor just book your next trip and enjoy the BUZZ

Onosecond


The period of time one spends between pressing the send button and then realizing that they really shouldn’t have sent that e-mail message.

Frenema

This word has just been approved in the cyberworld as the act of deleting people off of one's friend list such as Facebook or Myspace. It's the contraction of friends and enema...yeah got to wonder how they decided on those two words.

Manssiere


A bra for a guy.

Caffeine Window


The daily time slot in which you must have some form of caffeine otherwise you will get a headache. No amount of caffeine after this window will cure the headache. A common ailment of coffee addicts who need their morning fix before they can function properly.

Dude1: Fuck, I've missed my caffeine window, I feel a headache developing.

Dude2: Rookie error dude, that's you should always keep a few No-Doze handy when you don't have time to grab some coffee.

Dayturnal

The opposite of nocturnal. Informal word for whatever it is that actually describes sleeping at night and being awake during the day.

Karah is dayturnal because she sleeps until four in the morning, is awake all day and passes out at 8:00

shyPod

When you are hesitant to show someone your ipod library because you are embarrassed/afraid of what they will think of you once they see it.

SleepyHead

This phenomenon occurs when a woman falls asleep while performing fellatio.

Brad: Damn I knew we stayed up too late and drank too much.
Tim: Why, what happened?
Brad: We got home and Tina and I got frisky and she dozed off, worst case of sleepyhead I've gotten since college.

Guysmaids

A gay guy's groomsman.

Alex: You're silly, I'm gonna make you one of my guysmaids!
Adam: Faaaaaaaaaaaabulous!

Elbonics


The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

ugly cry



A type of crying that can feel really good and really bad at the same time. The ugly cry can occur after a severe tragedy in one's life, or simply for no reason at all. You know you're doing the ugly cry when you lose COMPLETE CONTROL of all of the muscles in your face, start heaving and making awkward sounds (even though you are trying really hard to be silent), and start leaking fluids from every opening on your face from your hairline to your chin (yes, this includes the mouth). Without a doubt, by the time you are through with your ugly cry episode (if it was genuine) it will look as though you are a homeless person with pink eye who got punched a few times in the face and was hit my a monsoon; this is completely normal (and generally the time to call up a good friend).

Johnny's mom just died, and when he tried to tell me about her, he broke into the ugly cry instead.

No movie can make you ugly cry like My Dog Skip.

Whack it Off


Similar to "Walk it off."

An appropriate response when conversing with sexually frustrated individuals who have no future mating prospects.

James: "Dayum! I'm horny and no girl will sleep with me. Not even Gretta, the unibrow girl."
Morty: "Whack it off, James... Just whack it off."

Oh You Stepped In It

This is a moment when you realize you have said or done something so grievous that you know there is no way to apologize or go back and fix it.

Tina: So what happened with Bill?
Gina: I was at the club and sitting at a table and met this cute guy didn't catch his name and thought if I get rid of Bill I can dance with him all night.
Tina: So what did you do?
Gina: I told the guy I needed a couple minutes to text this guy and tell him I had a headache and wouldn't be making it.
Tina: And then?
Gina: His phone went off, my text went to him...he was Bill.
Tina: *trying to hold back a snicker* Oh you stepped in it.
Gina: Yeah, and he was so cute.

Alpopuck

Any empty dish pushed around the kitchen floor by a dog trying to get the last morsel.

Text Purgatory

The time period one waits for a response to a flirtatious text.

Dave was in text purgatory after sending Kiri "drinks later?"

Facebook Minute



(n) an elongated and obscure period of time spent distracted on Facebook when the original intent was to merely check your messages.

Dude, where’s Mark?

Oh, he just ran inside to check his messages really quick. He’ll back in a Facebook minute.

Fuck, we’re never gonna eat now.

Clingypookie

The small piece of dust on the floor in the corner of the kitchen under the cabinet that refuses to be swept up or vacuummed.

Postalport

The annoying window in an envelope that rarely lines up with the address.

Screwvenir

Anything that you keep (whether stolen or given to you) from someone's house after you've slept with them.

Laura didn't really like doing it with Chip so much, but she did nab a copy of Time Magazine with Mick Jagger on it from his house as a screwvenir.

carmageddon


A state of extreme traffic backup where one becomes so frustrated they feel the world is collapsing around them.

I can't believe I had to sit in traffic for three hours after those semi's crashed. It was carmageddon!

Reflectuous


Used to describe someone who spends too much time in front of the mirror.

bail whale

n. (bail-wail) a. Someone who leaves when they are needed.

Tim: Hey, John, can you help Harold and I move the furniture while you're here?

John: No, dude, I think I left my oven on. I have to go.

Harold: Your friend is such a bail whale.

Debbie Downer

n. (deb-ee downer) Someone who brings the mood of the moment down due to something they do or say, usually in reference to themselves.

Tina: This pool party is such a great idea.
Gina: I don't know, it's too hot, maybe we should go inside.
Tina: Gina shush, it's fine, have a drink and go mingle.
Gina: You know I just broke up with Mark, I don't want to mingle.
Tina: Quit being a Debbie Downer and go talk to Tim, he likes you and has been staring at your a$$ all day.

Fuckit List



A list of people, male or female, you want to have sexual intercourse with before you die.

Bob: Joey has an awesome Fuckit List:
1. Jessica Simpson
2. A Milf
3. Megan Fox

skin-thirty

a reply from someone who doesn't have a watch, usually said after someone asks what time it is.

1: Hey, what time is it?
2: (looks at their watchless wrist) It's skin-thirty.

Refridg-o-wave:

The belief that putting something in the microwave will keep it fresh until you have time to make room for it in the refrigerator.

Addipted


Having the irresistible need to stay near the chip bowl.

Last Chance Undies

Your last pair of clean underwear, reminding you that this is your last chance to wear any unless you get your laundry done; that pair of ugly old underwear that you reserve for an emergency.

Dude, I gotta do laundry today, I've got my last chance undies on!

Facebook-aholic

n. (faas book uh hall ik) a person who spends an inordinate amount of time logged into Facebook and decreasing the amount of their ability to be productive.

Tim: Where's Gary?
John: Not sure, I told him we were coming here for happy hour when I passed his cubicle.
Mark: What are you talking about, I just got here, Gary was showing me his Farmville medals, that guy needs a new hobby.
Tim: We need an intervention this weekend, Gary's a Facebook-aholic and we need to save him.
*Beer glasses clink*
John & Mark: Indeed, it's for his own good.

frontin

Urban slang. To put up a facade or make appearances, typically to impress or in some way deceive to maintain image. From 'to front'.

He be frontin' - that Benz be a rental!

Made my phone ring

Having an extreme intimate time together that seems to always make the phone ring.
Excellent sexual intercourse interrupted by the phone ringing.
variations: makes my phone ring, made her phone ring.
last night was awesome, you made my phone ring.

Maintenance Texts

Sending text messages to those people you'd like to date "Someday" or "eventually" to remind them that you exist. It's a low effort way to maintain a connection without having to really commit to anything serious.

Q: "Have you heard from that guy you met in that bar last week?"

A: "Yeah, he's sent me a few maintenance texts tonight, asking where we were but not wanting to meet up. LAME!"

AFU

Short for "All Fu*ked Up". Meaning usually some thing or situation that is messed up, broken, disorganized, or failed.

We can't take my car, I got in a wreck and it's AFU.

After the earthquake the subway was AFU.

Reality TV


Sh#t that's faker than Pam Anderson's titties and more fixed than pro wrestling!

Mufcake
(cute word) lol

The mutation of a Muffin and a Cupcake.

"I just accidentally started drawing this Cupcake when I wanted it to be a Muffin so it ended up a Mufcake."

JFC

Acronym for Jesus F^cking Christ

Endo: Dude, Becca fucked another guy today!
Brad: JFC!

fat hangover



The horrible feeling after indulging on too much food, similar to the hangover of alcohol. Fat hangovers have almost all of the same effects of regular hangovers. Fat hangovers, however, usually occur right after eating or when going to sleep.

Jimi has a fat hangover from today's food party. He's vomiting all over the sheets and has a major head and stomach ache.

good lookin' out


A phrase used to show appreciation to someone that helped you out.

Jeremy: Yo James, you want a soda
James: Fo sho, good lookin' out dogg, I'm hella thirsty

Sports Cry

The Permissible act of a sports fan or athlete, usually a male, shedding a quiet tear in celebration of their team's accomplishments. Also acceptable at the end of a classic sports motion picture. Only one episode of sports crying is acceptable per situation.

I sports cry every time at the end of 'Angels in the Outfield'.

money hugger

Opposite of tree hugger. Unscrupulous, money hungry, money collecting individual or company willing to do anything and destroy anything on this planet to get their fix - more money.

I don't care about your environmental impact or the old tree growth, and that frog is not worth those millions I can make here, said the money hugger.

fatimals

a fat animal, generally a pet (fat + animals = fatimals)

My dachshund put on some weight...God, she's such a fatimal!!!

Those fatimals are really creepy...they keep staring at me as I chew my food at the dinner table.

Keep your goddamned fatimals out of my yard!!!!!

SAND BUM


Someone who buries all his clothes in the sand, and runs around the beach area 100% naked going "Oo! Oo! Oo!"

Mental virginity



The general state of mind characterized by complete ignorance about sex and human reproduction.

Dude they think that sex ed teaches us a heck of a lot of stuff we didn't know, but the truth is, we lost our mental virginity a while back.

Totally dude.

*high five

Nifterrificabulous



Being nifty, terrific, radical, and fabulous; injected into conversation to express ones extreme like for something.

Assiduous
Constant in application or attention

push pen anxiety

A psychological state characterized by one's excessive push-in push-out of his or her retractable pen; due to stress or boredom.

*click click* *click click*

That kid at the back of the class has a serious case of push pen anxiety.

submarine duty


Being forced to work in close quarters or cramped spaces with other people where privacy is unattainable.

I had to work in the San Francisco office last week and it was, like, submarine duty.

trububble

bubbles created by friends that get in trouble for being naughty

fap on it

Masturbating before making any decision regarding females.

James: I can't tell if I should fuck my ex or not
Tom: Just fap on it, then you will know.

Screwzation

A realization that occurs, usually hinting that your gonna get screwed soon.

Eater's Remorse


The deep feeling of regret one feels after eating a large some of food, eating something unhealthy, or just eating in general.


I always suffer eater's remorse after thanksgiving, thinking of the pounds I'll have gained when I return to school.

Labor Day




The holiday at the beginning of when school starts that nobody really knows what it means.

Hey When's Labor Day?
Next weekend Foo'
Oh Man! Yes! ..Whats Labor Day anyway?
I don't know Cuh'

dearthquake




Noun. A very minor tremor or vibration that causes a media frenzy while actually having little effect or no real damage.

Yo, bro - did you feel that wicked dearthquake this morning?
No dude, I was busy carpet sweeping my girl's rug and felt no tremors at all.

Cold Anxiety



When you hate the cold so much you take certain steps in your life to avoid cold situations. You miss out on events and other happenings because it is either 1) taking place on a cold night outside or 2) taking place on a night with a touch of cold and you are nervous that your sweater won't be warm enough. You do not fear the alarm clock, you fear the cold burst of air that will flow over your body once you pull the comfortor off your body. You don't hate showering, but you hate the feeling of stepping out of the shower and towelling off so you either a) blow-dry your body before your hair, or b) install a sauna next to your shower.

You also find yourself in a sweatshirt while others are wearing bathingsuits and you stare in disbelief at how cold they must be!

"I didn't go meet my girlfriends out at the Marina tonight because I had too much cold anxiety!!"

"Why are you late for work?'
"My cold anxiety kept me in bed too long!"

"Why are you wearing a jacket in the summer?"

"cold anxiety!"

$hitload



more than an assload but still less than a fuckton.

I have a poopoo of beer, but down at my friend's place, they have a whole fuckton.

Text out



To weasel out of a prior engagement by text message. Not to be confused with text message breakup.

Man, I can't bear the thought of going to dinner with Jane again, so I think I am going to text out.

TEXTUAL SATISFACTION



When you orgasm after reading explicit text messages, also known as sexting.

Man 1: She sure knows how to talk dirty. She was sexting me all night

TEXTROVERT


1. One who feels an increased sense of bravery over texting, as opposed to in person.

2. One who will often only say what they really feel over text messages.
Kelly: "So how'd the conversation go with Jason last night?"

Natalie: "Ah he's such a textrovert. We didn't make any progress until I went home and he spilled his guts over texts."

SNAFU Situation normal all fu#ked up.

xoxo

Natalia

Woofits - An unwell feeling (like headaches), a moody depression

Yotate - To allow a yo-yo to unwind itself.

Rediculadundent (rĭ-dĭk'yə-lə-dŭn-dənt)- Having done or said something stupid over and over again.

PORNOCCHIO

A person who embellishes their sexcapades to sound cooler.
Guy 1: "Did Tommy tell you about his all-nighter with that hot chick from the bar last night?"
Guy 2: "Yeah right dude, he's such a pornocchio. She told me nothing happened."

*That is a good one

thermalophobia - An abnormal fear when one is showering that someone might sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald them to death.

manolescent


noun: A man of any age that shirks adult responsabilities.

"Yeah, you're awesome. Anyone would be a fool to not be with you. I really want to be free though. Can we keep this fairly low key even though we are in our late 20s?": manolescent.

"Yeah, I lived in Whistler for 10 years. That was the best time of my life. Let's talk about my partying during this whole first date. ... Oh right, I have three kids with my ex.": manolescent

Brofessional



a professional bro. This is a person who excels in party related activity with a professional style. They are good at all things party: i.e. drinking, smoking, dancing, talking to the opposite sex, getting out of situations, etc.

We were down to one cup in our beerpong game and Brad just walked up, looked at the cup, and sank it in one shot. A true brofessional.

RADILICIOUS

To say something is astoundingly excellent while being tasty and attractive.

Example: "Your lips were radilicious last night." "We are going to have a radilicious time at this new resteraunt."

RIM JOB



An instance in which the tongue is rubbed in a circular motion around someone else's sphincter.

Parannoy - The act of annoying someone in such a fashion that makes him or her paranoid.

BOOTY GRAZING



Sending one sexy text message to a multitude of people in hopes of getting a booty call in return.

joe texted 15 girls at once with the note "i'm all alone right now. what are you wearing?" but everyone was wise to his booty grazing ways so he didn't get a call back.

Dementocracy - A society in which the most demented members rise to the top.

Guitarded - One who owns a guitar and displays it prominently to make oneself appear more attractive, even though they have no idea how play.

PIXEL DICK


An online STD, caught from engaging in cybersex with promiscuous partners.

HANGSTURBATION


The excitation of one's own genital organs while simultaneously asphyxiating oneself usually to the point of orgasm.

Karmageddon - It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like a serious bummer.

Funsucker

which the true definition is one that takes the fun out of something

my definition is "That sounds good"

xoxoxo

food boner



when one becomes aroused at the sight of food. Happens in anticipation of a good meal.

I got a food boner yesterday when i saw how much bacon there was

RESCUE CHIP



A rescue chip is the chip you use to fish the bits of the first one that broke apart in the dip.

My tortilla chip busted when I tried to load it with extra salsa so I gotta get a rescue chip to recover the pieces.

VAJAYGEE



A WEDGIE OF THE VAGINA; CAMELTOE; WHEN YOUR PANTS ARE STUCK IN BETWEEN YOUR VAGINA LIPS;

humstinker - One that is extraordinary or remarkably smelly, and who has probably never thought of using deodorant in a considerably long time.

FLOORDROBE



A form of storage for clothing which requires no hangers, drawers, doors or effort. Simply drop on the floor and you have a floordrobe

EIFFEL TOWER



a sexual act that requires 3 people. 2 guys, one chick, and 1 other unfortunate soul. The chick bends over and one guy takes her from behind, while the other puts it in her mouth and then the two guys give a high ten, giving the illusion of the Eiffel Tower. The unfortunate soul is there to take the picture. No one will believe you if you don't have the proof.

COLD JERKY


The process of suddenly and altogether stopping a perpetual masturbation habit. Can apply to male or female.

TWAT


1) A great word to shout out.
2) A woman's vagina.
3) A blow to the face or genitalia.
4) Used by Tweety.
5) An offensive term for a person.
6) Acronym for The War Against Terrorism.
1) "You're getting right on my tits you TWAAAAAAAAT!"
2) "Nice twat there woman."
3) "You twatted me, I'll twat you back."
4) "Where's dat liddle puddy twat?"
5) "Tony Blair's a twat."
6) "TWAT is going well, don't you think

Sexile - To be banished from one's dorm room or place of residence, as a result of one's roommate engaging in sexual activity.

freddy cougar




The old chick who totally rocks her slutty Halloween costume.


Did you see Freddy Cougar all over that poor kitten? He stood no chance.

ELEFUCK



Having hardcore sex in an elevator

I'm not gay seat


The seat two males leave open to show the world they are not gay.