I know, right?

An affirmation that you agree with or can relate to the preceding statement. It can be used whether the speaker actually knows or not, but in the latter case it usually means that the speaker can attribute the preceding statement to themselves as well.

"I got so drunk at the party that I puked when I got home." "I know, right? I think I might have barfed up stuff from last year."

"My parents are such trogs." "I know right? Mine think my LJ is a literal notebook."

sexstressing

[i]Freaking that you haven't had enough sex.[i/]

This sexstressing is killing me.

apocalypse sex

Thoughtless, careless sex happening right before a major disaster or possible ending of the world, without thought of consequences.

Figuring that this was the end of the world I turned to the girl sitting next to me and said 'why not' as we commenced to have passionate apocalypse sex; I just hoped that this time, it was for real...

post-acquaintance friend request

The friend request sent right after meeting someone for the first time.

After meeting Ryan at the party, Dave sent him a post-acquaintance friend request to secure their friendship.

punknfunk

The combination between Punk Rock and Electro.


It's good stuff!!

Antisocial Networking

Using a social networking web site or service to connect to other people but never communicating with those people once they have been established as a connection.

I can't believe it... we haven't spoken to Randy since high school. He added us as friends on Facebook but never responds to any of our messages. He has over 100 friends but we've never even seen him post a comment. Talk about antisocial networking!

Bathquake


The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a certain point.

cockblocalypse

When you're out at the bar and you get cockblocked SO BAD it's like the end of the world as you know it.

"What's up with Gurpreet?"
"Oh, last night, Trong brought the cockblocalypse upon him"

Papertexting


To jot down a note on scrap paper, take a camera phone snapshot of it, and picture message(MMS) it over to a friend; often more expressive and expensive than regular SMS texting.

F&%*ulation

The scenarios or costs that enter ones mind when contemplating sex with someone.

Is she married? Will my girlfriend find out? Can I get enough out of the ATM at this hour and still have gas for driving to work Monday? Is she going to want me to pay her tab? The f&%*ulations raced through Bob's mind as he was staring at Gloria as she licked her lips after saying she wanted to take him home.

Passhole

The person who has been driving slowly but speeds up the minute someone tries to get ahead of him.



Eufirstics

Two people waiting on the phone for the other to hang up first.

Fucking Retrospect

A phrase used to describe the agonizing frustration of realizing that you did something you regret, and wanting to do it differently but realizing it after-the-fact. This typically occurs about 5 minutes later but the realization of such can occur years later...

Looking back in fucking retrospect, I realized that cute girl didn't want to know the time: she was actually interested in me!

Obviosophy

An obvious statement that someone tries to twist into some sort of philosophical observation on life.

Nippleistic

Describing a person, usually a woman who has a gratifying chest.

smeyes!

This one Tam came up with... but I'm putting it on here.

When you can look in someones eyes and see a smile!

premarital text

The act of texting (text messaging) a member of the opposite sex, outside the confines of a relationship, in flirtatious ways, often insinuating the desire for a deeper, intimate relationship.

"That girl that works in the cubicle next to you is really good looking. I would so premarital text her."

Panophobia

Fear of everything

Person: Ahhhhhhh! A marker! Ahhhhhhhh! A computer! Ahhhhhhhh! A banana! Ahhhhhhhh! A notebook! Ahhhhhhhh! A garden gnome!

Person 2: Hmmmm.... seems to me you have a bad case of Panophobia...

Person 1: Ahhhhhhhh! A person!

For Jayla

Smize

"Smile with your eyes," as coined by supermodel Tyra Banks on the thirteenth cycle of America's Next Top Model. Ever since its introduction, the term became part of the daily lexicon of Tyra and her minions. The art of smizing is epitomized by the legendary Super Smize.

Tyra: You need to smize more in your pho-to.
Erin (C13): "Smize"?
Tyra: Smiling with your eyes.
Erin (C13): Excuse me while I go throuth ("throw up in my mouth").

Catastrotree


When a cat or kitten playfully pulls down the Christmas tree.

Whormones


Articulations heard in a brothel.

sore winner

A sore winner is someone who wins and spends far too much time gloating over it, to the point that the rest of the people feel poorly about even participating.

Ali was a sore winner when he sang "We Are The Champions" after winning the NCAA Bracket.

Happifying

Capable of making one happy!

Thought wad

A sudden burst and outpouring of ideas, thoughts, creativeness, or conversation topics, often followed by a severe lack thereof.

"Why'd you dump him?"

"He was boring. He blew his whole thought wad on our first date, then had nothing."

"Lame."

Iconoblast

To punctuate ones instant messages with an excess of icons.

Hozone


The place where one sock in every laundry load disappears to.

Back Door Braggart

A person who states a problem that they have with the express intention of letting everyone know how awesome they think they are, revealing their douche baggery to all.

v. Back Door Bragging: The act of expressing a false statement in order to set up the conversation to prove how (seemingly) fantastic the subject finds themselves.

effect: typically leads to eye rolls and general annoyance with subject.

Sarah: Lets go check out the new mall!

Lisa: Oh I hate clothes shopping anymore. Since I've been working out I can never find anything that fits because my waist is too tiny and my tits are too big. Life is so unfair!

Sarah: You're such a back door braggart, Lisa. Go fuck yourself.

Sextracredit


Using ones god-given assests to improve their grades.

Dasho


The area between the windshield and the dashboard where coins, pencils, etc fall into that are humanly impossible to retrieve.

Carb Coma

The sleepy feeling after eating a large meal comprised chiefly of carbohydrates, whether in the form of rice, noodles, bread or dough.

Dude, I was totally dozing at the office after that giant serving of chow mein for lunch. Total carb coma.

Jampage


The screaming and dancing one goes on after they jam or stub a body part on a household object.

I'm Good

Rejection of and ridicule for an offered good or service by feigning satiation. When "No Thank You" just won't do.

Person A: "Would you like to try some of my new recipe? It's Guacamole Crab Dip."
Person B: "No, I'm good"

Person A (on the phone): "Hey, Jenny. You've been studying too hard. How 'bout I swing by your apartment and give you a back rub?"
Jenny: "No. I'm good"

Person A: Do you want to go down to the Creepy Crawl and see The Wheezing Coughers?
Person B: "No thanks, I'm good."

Cell Block

The mental block or state of mind some people reach when driving and on their cell phones that nothing registers to them, be it road signs, signal lights or someone in the car with them telling them to slow down.

reality challenged

(adj.) being in a state in which one is utterly and completely unable to distinguish fact from fiction, and is thus obviously and undeniably full of poopoo.
Most politicians are reality challenged. So are a number of attorneys, as well as most people living in Hollywood.

To use it in a sentence: "That guy is SO reality challenged... that he can't even tell poopoo from Shinola!"

Lubricakes


The cookies, cakes, and brownies one brings in to butter up their boss.

Zipijig


To dance around in the event someone points a rubber band with the intent to shoot.

meatox

The act of abstaining from eating meat for a period of time, usually after heavily indulging.

Dude, after that day we went to korean BBQ, AND to the hotdog stand, i'm gonna have to meatox.

Sapiosexuality


A behavior of becoming attracted to or aroused by intelligence and its use.

Seductivity

A measurement of one's ability to seduce.


Tamela's seductivity is unmeasureable!!! The scale doesn't go that high!

Google harder

A phrase used in response to someone whining about not being able to find something on Google.

An expert googler would then show some resemblance of pity and assist by immediately googling for the desired information successfully.

Dude, I don't know what it means to kill two frogs with one dart, and I can't freakin find the definition on google!

Google harder you idiot...

Netglow

Someone (or something) that is better online than in real life.

I've met her in real life. She is really below average without the netglow.

Mrs. Kravitz

This is to describe someone who is of a nosey, busy-body nature and who likes to pass judement. Based on the character in the 1960's show "Bewitched".

Lady: Really sir, you shouldn't be going around your yard without your shirt on, that isn't gentlemanly.
Man: Lady the only way you would have seen me without my shirt on is if you had binoculars. I was in my back yard.
Lady: Well yes, I like to make sure the neighborhood is safe for us all.
Man: Quit being a "Mrs. Kravitz" or you'll get a show to really talk about.

chat blue balls

The anxiety and suspense involved in staring as you see a friend is typing an instant message or facebook chat message but never seems to complete it. The feeling can last for minutes or even hours. Unfortunately unlike actual blue balls, chat blue balls can not be relieved by jerking off.

Person 1: "What's with Freddy, he was supposed to come out with us an hour ago?"
Person 2: "He looked pretty pissed, he's probably suffering from chat blue balls again."

sextee

The receiver of a sext message.

OMG, I meant to send my girlfriend a sext message but I misspelled the name and later realized the sextee was actually my mom!

ProcrastinEating

The consumption of food undertaken to avoid a dull or arduous task, irrespective of hunger levels or the time of day.

Mark: Man, this History paper's taking me forever...I could go for some Guacamole and Spicy Salsa dip on crackers...
John: Dude, you ate lunch half an hour ago. Quit ProcrastinEating and get back into it!

Word-Y

This is where someone takes a word and adds " y " to it in order to make it into an adjective and inserts into as much of the conversation as possible, thinking they're cute when they're just annoying.

Guy 1: Hey these wings are really buffaloey tasting. This can't be any better the beer tastes beery, wings are wingy and ...
Guy 2 & 3: Dude shut up already this isn't grade school and you're scaring off the ladies.

Nurge

To inch forward at a traffic light thinking that will make it change faster.

Tell me about it, being 5000 miles away from the ranch is agonizing it aches all the way down to my..... bones


Apples and Pears
Completely nonsensical and pointless British 'rhyming slang' for stairs

Your brother is drunk again help me get him up the apples and pears

That scene in goldmember where Austin and his dad talk in 'english' english that's not gibberish the whole conversation (except maybe the end bit with the '?' subtitle) is rhyming slang

tropisex

Sex in the tropics


I had the best tropisex with Tamela!!!

Caller VD

When your caller ID identifies someone with whom you definitely don't want to talk, and you avoid answering them like the plague

(Phone rings)

Hey are you going to get the phone or what?

(Looks at phone) Negative. That's the number for child support services, they've been trying to get a hold of me for months

Spanktervision

Raunchy television that is on after midnight usually on cable or pay per view channels.

Spank Files

The computer files we all create for our naughty stuff.

Tamela: What do you think of my new pics?
Sharky: I copied them straight to my spank file with your name on it.

Abandick


To leave a man mid-sexual intercourse, causing him much frusration and dicomfort.


BR and LR ladies do not fall into this category at all.

sorry, autocorrect

A phrase often used when a private or dirty text is sent to the wrong person in an attempt to lessen the awkwardness or dismiss the conversation

Girl: Jeff's cock is so big
Guy: This is your boyfriend. I think we need to break up
Girl: Sorry, autocorrect!! I meant clock!

Bangalicious


A very hot, sexy, banging, guy or girl that will make your heart skip a beat, and the only thing on your mind is him or her.


All the Bunny Babes and Lovers are Bangalicious!!!!!


Especially, a tall blonde from Chicago!!!!!

Made Sex

The in-between stage of having sex and making love.

Something less trashy than just having sex but not as romantic as making love.

Brain Fart

This is when you do something that no matter how you explain it or describe it, it's something that no one who gave the matter any thought what so ever would even imagine doing, but you went ahead and said it/did it.


Michael Weiner: Hey I should tweet this woman a pic of my junk, cuz I'm sexy like that.
Staff Member: Seriously??!! Did you have a brain fart or what?!

Bad Good News

This is something that would normally be good news, but due to some circumstance or setting makes it bad news for you.

Guy 1: Hey how did your blind date go last week, did you get some?
Guy 2: I could have until I realized it was my boss's wife.
Guy 1: That's definitely some bad good news. So did you hit it anyway?

Foxymoron


A member of the opposite sex blessed with beauty and cursed with stupidity, whose presence causes contradictory feelings of attraction and repulsion.

Blown Job

When a girl is about to give you a blow job and all of a sudden, out of your own stupidity, you say or do something that makes her angry or ruins the mood and she ceases all blowing activity. This is not to be confused with some unforeseen events like an earthquake or a tornado occurring while you are about to be given a blowjob; unfortunate as it may be, it is not a blown job.

Greg: Hey man, how'd it go with Ashley last night?

Caleb: I accidentally called her Stacy, and I ended up getting a blown job.

Greg: Sucks... well, you wouldn't know.

Towel Tango

The dance performed under a towel, most commonly seen at the Beach, or in a changing room, when getting changed under the towel to hide as much skin as possible.

Becky doesn't like being seen naked in the changing room, so she performs a towel tango.

facebook wit

The intellegent humor that nearly everyone seems to gain when they have a half an hour to contemplate a witty response. It is usually a bad comparison to a person's actually conversational skills since they can sit and contemplate the response for as long as they need.
(Facebook wit conversation)

Susie (7:12): So... supposedly the world is ending on Saturday...
Dan: (7:32): Hell yeah! (pun totally intended
Susie (7:34): You think you'll still be here after the rapture?
Dan: (8:01): Oh, I'm throwing a rapture party! Devil juice and Satan cakes, with the Antichrist spinning!
Susie: (8:04): ROFL!

Excess Bunnage


When you have more buns than hot dogs at a cookout.

blow motion

Watching a blow job in slow motion. Also called blow mo.

That was such a great blow job, I'm gonna rewind it and watch it in blow motion!

Prettiful

Desrcibing someone that is pretty or Beautiful!!!

Blow Pro

A woman who is especially adept in the art of fellatio.

"Dude, that chick is HOT! I'll bet she's a blow pro."

Word Dork

Someone that stays up till the early morning hours thinking of words that don't exist! hehe

toothpaste hangover


The effect that makes everything taste disgusting after you brush your teeth.

Augh! This orange juice tastes horrible, thanks to that gosh-darned toothpaste hangover!

Faked-Out by your taste buds

This is a phenomenon that happens when you get a taste for something specific and then once you start eating said item your taste buds fail you and it just doesn't hit the spot like you thought it would.

Jill: OMG let's get Chinese, I'm so in the mood for some sweet n sour chicken and kung pao beef.
(an hour later)
Jill: Okay that just didn't hit the spot, now I know at midnight we'll be making a run to Del-Taco.

Ambiportalous

Possessing the uncanny knack for approaching a set of double doors and always pushing the locked one.

bisexual

The ability to reach down someone's pants and be satisfied with whatever you find.

Jane is bisexual
John is heteroexual
Jane had a bisexual affair with John and Jill

Chiclexodus


Any attempt by a gum ball to sneak out of the chute and roll past the buyer.

Blow Torch

When you give a guy oral sex while giving him a hand job at the same time.

I gave a guy a blow torch.

cellular isolation

Occurs when a two person group is partitioned by one party’s separate conversation via phone call or text message using a cellular device.

The conversation was quite riveting until Becky initiated cellular isolation by sexting for the remainder of the evening.

Telecrastination


The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

Dissociative Facebook Identity Disorder

A common disorder where a person displays multiple personalities: One in person, and one on Facebook.

Kevin: "Damn, have you met that girl I work with L'fondra?"
George: "Yeah, shes a weirdo in person, but she acts all cool on Facebook. She must have Dissociative Facebook Identity Disorder."

VoiceMail Skipper

These are people who skip voice mails and call people back to find out what the voicemail was about so that they don't have to log into their voicemail that they have more than likely forgotten the password to.

Rampriot


Free-for-all that erupts as soon the flight attendant utters the phrase, "please remain in your seats until the plane has come to a complete stop.

feed the beast


to send a high-maintenance partner a text message in order to keep them sweet and avoid them getting upset that you are ignoring them.

Similar to a feeding a tamagotchi, you send these texts to keep the relationship alive.

A: You coming to the pub mate?
B: Yeah, of course. One minute though, I just gotta feed the beast first.

Gwee


To take toe-curling pleasure in something non-sexual and express it with bodily contortions. Similiarly, when cats curl their paws and close their eyes while being stroked.

Food Fighter

This is a person who no matter what everyone else decides or compromises on for the meal always wants to have something else just to make themselves the center of attention or to just be difficult.

Yes we all know someone like this.

Drawdown

The proper way to tell or ask a chick to give you head.

Hey baby could you DrawDown on me before we go out tonight?

That bitch can DrawDown like a fucking pro!

If we are going to have any type of a relationship you are going to have to learn how to DrawDown better.

curb shame

Embarrassment at waiting on the curb obediently as other pedestrians ignore the "don't walk" signal in the absence of traffic.

I couldn't stand the curb shame any longer so I crossed with everyone else, even though I needed a break from running all around town.

Oldfolkals



The eyeglasses one needs when they can no longer see anything more than ten feet away, or their arms appear to have shrunk too much to hold the newspaper at a reasonable reading distance.

Cashtration



The act of buying a house, or any high priced product, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

Inoculatte


To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

engayed

The term for gay couples to become engaged or plan on becoming married.

Did you hear the news? Paul and Tom got engayed. I can't wait for their wedding!

Bozone


The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

Depertela

To be desperate to be with Tamela....

Sulduxy

Describing something that is sultry, seductive, and sexy