Nevada Brothels and People With Disabilities
Posted by Alice Little on July 5, 2016
For years, an invisible sector of society has shared their sexual secrets with the ladies of Nevada’s legal brothels. The sexuality of people with disabilities is invisible because they are often perceived as beings who do not engage in sex and do not have sexual desires. As a legal courtesan working at a Nevada Brothel, I’m here to tell you first-hand that this is far from the truth.
In today’s society, we oftentimes judge someone first by their outward appearance. This is even more true when it comes to things like dating and sex. We seek out those with conventionally desirable traits- and overlook those that lack traditional sex appeal. What happens when someone has visually noticeable differences- be that a mobility device, a missing limb, or an otherwise perceived physical or mental “flaw”? They get overlooked. Their sexual desires may not be met. Perhaps they may even feel uncomfortable viewing themselves as sexual beings, because society has repressed disabled sexuality for so long. Despite having the physical, mental, and emotional desire to be with someone, society overlooks and belittles that desire. In the media- we see a lot of these “feel good” stories, which casts the abled-bodied person as being a savior, hero, or an overall good person for choosing to engage in sexual or romantic relations with someone who isn’t able-bodied. This isn’t one of those stories. This post is about the reality of a portion of society that are under-sexed, and have been paying to have their needs met by legal sex workers, such as myself.
Why do some people with disabilities seek out sex workers?
Everyone is a sexual being, and everyone deserves to have their sexual desires fulfilled. In my experience, as someone who services a variety of people with disabilities on a monthly basis, I’ve discovered that these clients have as diverse sexual interests as anyone else, from BDSM to specialty fetishes like sexual role play and crossdressing. So, many people with disabilities are faced not only with the social stigma of being labeled as non-sexual, but also sometimes face the additional challenge of desiring a non-traditional sexual outlet. Clients with disabilities seek out sex workers for the same reason anyone else does: because they want to have their unique sexual desires met.
I’m aware of the common challenges that some people with disabilities face when exploring their sexuality. My goal is to be a safe person for someone to be with, regardless of any physical or mental differences. I openly welcome and invite everyone to come and spend time with me here at Dennis Hof’s Sagebrush Ranch because it is a safe place for all to visit. We are an ADA compliant facility- complete with extra-large doorways, easy to maneuver hallways, and an entry ramp. We work with those who have sensory processing issues – if the background music is too much for you to handle, we will adjust the volume. If you prefer the bedroom lights to be brighter or darker, not a problem. Additionally, I’ve taken training classes on how to assist someone with their mobility devices, and help assist them with mobility. For me, it’s not about being a ‘good person’ by offering such services, it’s a matter of equality. To me, those with different abilities are entitled to the same services my other clients receive, and will always be treated as equals.
What it’s like working with a disabled client
There are some unique difficulties and rewards associated with working with clients with disabilities. Sometimes I need to adjust my method of communication. For example, I may have a client who is unable to vocally communicate, and instead uses a touch pad. Rather than verbally explaining and negotiating, I’ll use their preferred method to explain everything. Sometimes negotiations involve caretakers or family members, who are assisting the person to the ranch. With me, caretakers/family members are always welcome, and always made to feel at home at the brothel. Depending on the level of need, the caretaker can be in the room during the session to assist with mobility issues, health issues, or communication barriers. This never costs extra, as the caretaker isn’t sexually involved. Here at Sagebrush, our Fantasy Suite has an attached outdoor patio where the carer can wait, and occasionally check in on the other person without disturbing the intimacy happening in the room. Another difficulty can be helping someone to overcome the social stigma against their sexuality. I encourage my clients to open up about prior experiences if they feel comfortable doing so, which allows me to better understand where they are coming from. I also love to find out what aspects of sex are most appealing- what positions they are interested in trying, and any other special desires. The rewarding part for me is knowing that as a legal sex worker, I am able to meet someone’s needs. I am able to be there for them, and be a partner with them during intercourse. We come together as equals in the bedroom, and share in one of the most pleasurable activities life has to offer. I am able to offer a service no other professional can: intimacy, sexuality, and companionship.
Whenever a person with disabilities comes to see me, I always take extra time to explain exactly how things will work to help remove the discomfort factor. For clients who may have psychological differences, I always explain what sexual acts we will engage in, and actively get consent from that person. Caretakers may be involved in this conversation, but they cannot give consent for the other person. In the past I have worked with clients who are on the autism spectrum, who have downs syndrome, and those who have PTSD. I find my encounters with such clients to be incredibly positive, wonderful, and I learn so much about myself during my time with them. The experience is about them as sexual beings: their wants, desires, passions, and interests. It’s about helping them explore being sexual with another person, and being able to help them make wonderful memories. Each encounter is uniquely personalized to suit each person’s situation and needs. I am knowledgeable about adaptive sex positions for those with limited mobility, and I love being able to share that experience with someone. It’s such an intimate and personal experience! When I think of my time with disabled clients, I think of the man who is paralyzed from the waist down, who was still able to be on top during intercourse. I think of the attractive gentleman who returned home from Iraq, and wanted to redefine himself as a sexual being despite missing limbs. I smile and remember dear friends, and people that I’ve made such deep personal relationships with, and have connected with.
I welcome those with different abilities to come into the Ranch, and for those carers, caretakers, and family members who are looking after someone with different abilities to contact me. I’d love to have a conversation, and get to know more about you. Who you are as a person is what is more appealing and attractive to me. I promise in return to always respect you, treat you as an equal, and to give you an amazing experience here at the Ranch. You’ll notice that this isn’t just a blog post about people with disabilities and their sexuality – it specifically speaks to such people as well. To speak of someone, but not speak to them is to devalue them. Simply put: People with disabilities are sexual beings too, and are equally welcomed at Nevada’s brothels – and I’m more than willing to help you have an equally amazing experience during your visit here.